A Long Walk to Brooklyn

 In the dim mood-light of Threes Brewing, Christian began to drink his first whiskey and ginger ale of the evening. Over-priced, but silent. Sudden frantic knocking on the side door of the bar shook Christian from his reverie. No one else reacted to it, perhaps he was going mad. Nevertheless, Christian approached the door with trepidation, as well as a certain excitement. He opened the side door in one swift motion to discover Sean, soaked from the still pouring rain, standing in an out-of-place yard to the side of the bar. 

No one will ever see this but we did finally get to meet in person! I definitely recommend the experience.

Oh, I was already on my second bourbon and ginger ale of the evening. 

Yeah! So, for context: for those who weren't aware, Sean and I did not know each other from our regular lives when doing this blog. He's from Florida, I'm from Chicago. I'd been wishin' and hopin' and prayin' for a sequel series for Boy Meets World my whole life and when I finally heard we were getting one, I started consuming BMW content on the internet at a wild rate which led me to Sean's blog Boy Meets World Reviewed which I regularly followed and commented on.

Then Girl Meets World came out and it was.... meh. Not terrible, and with moments of promise and two talented young leads, but not great, and not what I was hoping for. But I couldn't find the kind of reviews I wanted for it. Reviews from real outlets that were written by critics that maybe only had passing familiarity with the OG show, were largely dismissive, deriding the nostalgia bait, the glut of mid-2010s sequel series, and the childishness. On the otherside, there were more amateur reviews by BMW obsessives or Disney Channel obsessives, who had only glowing unnuanced reviews. There was nothing from what I felt was my own point of view: someone who loved Boy Meets World very much and would come into it with that perspective, but was also prepared to take a clear-eyed look at the show. 

So Girl Meets World Reviewed was born, its name taken as an homage to Sean's Boy Meets World Reviewed, which I think in turn comes from a Full House Reviewed blog. His blog finished up not long after GMW began, and since he and I had already communicated a little in the comments section of this blog (and because I have a habit of not finishing things I start and knew I'd probably give it up by season's end if I didn't have a partner in crime) I invited him to do it with me and the rest is history.

Fastforward 6 or 7 years later: I've gotten married, moved to New York City, and am a soon-to-be-father. (Just call me Cory!) Sean has recently gotten his doctorate at Dartmouth and is going to be in Brooklyn for a work conference. (Just call him... I dunno, if Topanga had gone to Yale?) and the time was finally nigh!

It was great catching up with Sean, and if anybody is even reading this, it's great catching up with you. Y'all listening to Pod Meets World? If they're reading this, we're totally down to come on.

We Don't Talk About Nebula-la-la... We Don't Talk About Nebula!

 BIG NEWS FOLKS! We all know Nebula Stop-the-War Lawrence, older sister of Topanga, retconned out of existence after one Season 1 episode? But would it SHOCK YOU, would it SCARE YOU, to discover that Nebula, who you ALWAYS BELIEVED was in one episode was actually in TWO?!

You see, Season 1 is more like an extended pilot of Boy Meets World. They're still figuring out the kinks. They haven't figured it out yet. Topanga's got a sister named Nebula, Shawn has a sister named Stacy. Topanga's a hippy, Cory's a wise-ass and not remotely neurotic or anxious, Eric's pretty smart, Minkus... exists.

BUT..... NEBULA IS ALSO IN AN EPISODE OF SEASON 2. In "Wrong Side of the Tracks" that's Nebbie again playing the ice skater girl that Eric has a crush on that causes him to have that dream with Nancy Kerrigan. Go check it out on Boy Meets World on Disney Plus! Here's some proof via IMDb. Is Nebbie going by a different name in Season 2? Sure. But her ill-deeds to the Lawrences has already taken place.  

Leon "Big Van Vader" White, Dead at 63

Former WWE superstar Vader aka Leon White has died at age 63 from heart complications.

All of us likely know him best (or, I don't know, maybe you guys like wrestling more than I) from the three episodes he appeared in  of Boy Meets World. It was an interesting situation where he was playing himself, Vader. Except Vader wasn't named Leon White, he was named Francis Stecchino Sr. (or Leslie, depending on the episode) and he lived in a trailer park in suburban Philly (despite... being a famous professional wrestler) and was Frankie Stecchino's father. 

He was a hoot in all three of his episodes, but is likely best remembered for his final episode, "Sixteen Candles and a 400 Pound Man" which focused on his strained relationship with Frankie. Here's an interesting interview with Michael Jacobs, focusing on his appearance. 

 I couldn't find a good clip of that on YouTube, so here's him in his second most memorable episode, "The Thrilla in Phila". Rest In Peace, Vader!

How Many Posts Are Each Character Mentioned In

This blog has 168 posts in it. Here's how many posts each character (and Sean and me!) has been directly mentioned in. The results may surprise you!

This is not scientific, this comes from just searching for the words. Ava is artificially high because the letters 'a-v-a' appear in that order in not just Ava's name, but also in words like 'aggravating' or 'lava'. As in, "Ava is very aggravating and we should throw her in the lava." But this could be all over the place. For instance, if we ever referred to "America" that's one more reference for Eric. 

Cory: 125

Shawn: 110

Topanga: 109

Riley: 102

Maya: 102

Eric: 99

Farkle: 95

Lucas: 89

Christian (Referred to By Name): 87 (It's possible some of these may be references to the religion)

Ava: 76 (Almost certainly not accurate, as 'a-v-a' could appear in any number of words)

Sean (Referred to By Name): 72

Feeny: 63

Auggie: 58

Alan: 55

Jack: 54

Zay: 47

Minkus: 42 (some references to 'Minkus' may refer to Farkle Minkus though)

Harley: 42

Angela: 41

Turner: 39

Amy: 37

Josh: 33

Chet: 33

Katy: 31

Smackle: 23

Morgan: 20

Rachel: 19

Charlie: 17

Lauren: 17

Yogi: 16

Sarah: 12

Jason: 11

Frankie: 11

Joey: 9

Virna: 9

Jennifer: 8

Griff: 8

Mrs. Svorski: 6

Random thoughts:

• How could we possibly have over 40 posts that don't mention Cory? Over 60 without Maya and Riley? My guess is a lot of those were during the Character Tournament that were just head-to-head polls.
• Shawn beats Maya and Riley despite only appearing in a fraction of the episodes. Eric is beaten by only 3. Just goes to show you how much we talk about those too. Surprised that Topanga beat them though. 
• Katy at only 31, behind people like Amy, Josh, Harley and Chet surprises me. I can't believe how high Harley is in general. He ties Minkus and is almost at Zay levels. 

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear

So, we're going to try to keep this Special Event posting going. Christmas is certainly the big one, but we have New Year's, Valentine's, Halloween and Thanksgiving. We're also probably gonna do all of the birthday ones on one of our birthdays (I'm January 29th, Sean's February 22nd, so either way you don't have long to wait) and then all of the Anniversaries episodes (and I'm talkin' all of them, "Cyrano" for Alan and Amy in the background, "Chasing Angela" for Cory and Topanga's anniversary that turned out to be the first time they went to that restaurant)

Sadly, there is NO Fourth of July episode of Boy Meets World or Girl Meets World, so we won't get to do that. I can't really think of whatever holidays are worth one of these, but maybe you know of some and have other themes in mind. Let us know in the comments! We reserve the right to decide if it's worth doing one over, but we're doing NYE today, and there's only two, so.... we're probably pretty easy. 

Train of Fools (BMW #3.10): "Cory, New Year's Eve, I got us a limousine." "A limousine?" "Yeah, that's short for limo." Aw, it's early days. In early days, Shawn's an idiot. Let us never forget, for all his soulful angsty poetry, there's a big part of Shawn that's straight-up stupid. And not Eric "he's-got-potential" stupid. Just bone stupid. 

Feeny shows up, in a panic, because his cab to the airport is waiting and all he has is traveler's checks. This is weird. I don't know anything about traveler's checks -- because it's my understanding that they're an antiquated way of using money overseas that more or less has become irrelevant in the days of credit and debit cards -- but it strikes me as remarkable that a man of Feeny's intellect would have straight-up converted all his money into that before even leaving for his trip. You don't have ANY American money? Like, okay, we're still in the days of checks... where's, like, your regular old checkbook? Maybe you wouldn't bring it to the Bahamas, but you're still at your fucking house right now. 

And even though credit/debit cards hadn't surpassed cash and checks as the main way of doing business yet, like, credit cards were absolutely around in the 1990s. They'd been around for decades. But maybe cabs didn't accept them then, I don't know. But the other points stand. This throwaway plot is for no reason and just makes Feeny look like an idiot. What's even the point of him going to the Bahamas? To establish why he's not around for the episode? We know why he's not in the episode, it's New Year's Eve (in winter break) and obviously Feeny is not hanging out with his students, that's why. 

You know what else doesn't make any sense? Eric's whole supermodel date thing (and I had to look it up to make sure Rebecca Alexa was not actually some supermodel in the '90s). She's Jason's second cousin, in from out-of-town and needs a date? That's... thin. This successful super model is, what, just unexpectedly in Philadelphia for New Year's Eve? Why? Why is she not spending NYE wherever she wants to? What's bringing her to Philadelphia on NYE? It's not like she has work, she's free to hang out with whomever her second cousin can scrounge up for her on New Year's. 

And, seriously, that's what a super model  has to do? Ask her second cousin, a high school senior, if he has any high school senior friends she can go on a date with? Don't get me wrong, Eric's a Good-Lookin' Guy, but he's straight-up 17 years old in this episode (we're 2 months out from Stormy Weather) this just wouldn't happen. I feel like, even if Rebecca Alexa got herself into this situation, she'd sooner spend NYE dateless than go on a date with a random minor. 

It's also worthy of note that Jason is Eric's connection to this supermodel, and yet Jason's not even in this episode. So, Jason's worth hitting up for random dates and yet not worth hanging out with on New Year's Eve? It's not like Jason's got better plans. I love the guy, but Jason has no plans ever but being the LeFou to Eric's Gaston. Also, Jason doesn't even appear in the episode, because Jason hasn't appeared since Season 2 and never will again - Jason Marsden left his recurring role on BMW after Season 2 because he became a main character on Step by Step and that woulda been weird.  I hadn't realized they kept mentioning him as Eric's best friend, though. Also, the coolest thing about Jason Marsden continues to be that they just straight up named his Boy Meets World character after him. 

Eric asking for someone to catch him and no one doing it is funny, I suppose.

Alan hassles Amy to hurry up because it's New Year's Eve and they gotta go! Amy yells she's still shaving her legs. Alan talks to Eric for 20 seconds and then Amy comes downstairs all dressed and made up. So.... Amy shaved showered, dressed, did her make up, and decided "What the hell, why I don't shave my legs?" I feel like all I'll do in this episode is point out shit that makes no sense. I'm 3 minutes in. 

Cory's dressed really weird for NYE. I thought Eric was dressed too '90s cool' but Cory's REALLY dressed too. '90s cool, I guess?'. They do a joke where Amy says "New Year's Eve brings out all the crazies" and Shawn shows up. That feels like a rough draft of the joke they do in Season 6 where it's the middle of the night and "only freaks and weirdos are up right now" and Shawn and then Eric and then Feeny show up in succession everytime people say it. (The great thing about this show is that you can say "Only freaks and weirdos are up right now" and then anybody but, like, Amy can show up and you're like "Yeah, alright.") Also, Eric has a car he affectionately names "Lucille" that's a piece of shit but his piece of shit. Somewhere along the way I think Season 3 has become the season I've seen the least of, but I'm confident we've never heard of Lucille before and will never hear of her again. Maybe Lucille's the car Eric's driving in the Season 4 theme song.

I'm straight up not going to talk about Turner and Eli's story. Basically, two of Turner's recent flings show up to spend NYE with him, despite him not making plans withe either of them, which isn't a thing that happens. The basic premise is that girls are annoying cling-y bitches and men are awesome cool guys. It's bad and doesn't belong on this show and a waste of time (which is saying something considering how bad the A-Story of this episode is.) This Turner/Eli story is clearly an example of their trying to make this show hipper and more adult in Season 3 and it not working. I will say that Turner's ex Janine is pretty foxy. (P.S. CHECK THAT! Three of Turner's exes show up, the last one he only dated once. Such is the power of Turner's magnetism.)

Hmm. This is the first early years episode we've done lately that features Topanga in a major way and she is... not good. She's always been weaker than Ben, Rider and Will (a testament, I'm sure, to her being the youngest and the one consistently given the least to do) but she pops up with this "Gee guys..." line in her first scene that is not good. That said, we can go ahead and call Danielle Fishel god-damn Meryl Streep compared to the actress playing Rebeca Alexa. She towers over Eric, has a stilted unnatural delivery (perhaps owing to her performer, Angela Visser, being a native of Denmark) and has very few credits after this episode, and none post 2002. She did, however, appear in 95 episodes of USA High in the 1990s. You remember USA High. It's that show you've never heard of or seen. 

This episode has the same problem of "Santa's Little Helper" of having a lot of important scenes taking place offscreen. "Cory, if stupidity were in the Olympics you'd win the Nobel Prize" got almost no laughs, and though it's a line I distinctly remembered, I still say... good, because it's not very funny. This episode in general, by the way? Not very funny. I did enjoy Topanga's "Hey! Light bulb! Why don't we have our own little party right here? It will be so much fun making popcorn and--" being cut off with Eric's "Cory, make it stop." It is a little obnoxious that Rebecca Alexa (I call her by her full name because Eric consistently does) suggests taking the subway to get to their party as a joke and it's seen as repulsive. I can't speak to Philly's transit system, but I take Chicago's all the time, and was just in DC for the holidays and did the same, and it was fine. Rebecca Alexa sucks, but I also don't know why she hangs out with them all for as long as she did. She does eventually leave once Cory outs Eric as being a superficial jerk (which has been evident since jump, but okay) but it takes way too long and I still don't get what she's doing there in the first place. 

Hey, it's the origin of the Feeny-Poster-in-a-Subway gag which is used again in GMW. Also, here's my prediction right now. Eric's line of "He said 'Cory broke the train'", halfway through, will be the funniest of the episode. I do like that Topanga says "Buck up, buckers..." and is constantly trying to cheer them up and when Cory calls her on it she's like "You try being the positive one all the time and using words like 'buckers.'" Yeah, Cory. You jerk. YOU'VE KILLED HER SPIRIT. 

The gang then befriends their first black friend. WOW, way to forget about the guy from the beginning of season 1 who I don't think has a name. Please don't whitewash history on our blog. He is, I believe, unnamed and there's a lot of jokes like him saying "partay" and everyone's like "What is this word?" and he's like "party" and they're like "Oh." He's played by Wesley Jonathan, who I know from the TNBC sitcom City Guys. He was, like, the main City Guy. I actually already knew him from that show by the time I first saw this episode and thought for a while this was a Boy Meets World/City Guys crossover episode. It's not.

Shawn is enjoyable throughout this entire episode, blithely coming in and out of train cars to report on shenanigans happening in other car. He's eating crab cakes, he's dragooning pizza delivery boys to deliver babies (Why is the pizza delivery boy taking the subway to deliver his pizza? I feel like he's supposed to be taking a car, but he takes the subway to save money on gas, and he's been getting away with it, but because the subway broke down he's finally going to be outted and lose his job. That's my backstory for him.)

Once midnight hits, Eric randomly kisses a... french maid (who's way hotter than Rebecca Alexa, I'll mention, because she's played by freaking Charisma Carpenter) which, like, you shouldn't do. I guess Eric's okay because she seems to be into it, but this is imparting a bad lesson like.... that any strange woman on a train would appreciate you doing that. 

Feeny doesn't have any money AGAIN? What the fuck, dude? I feel like this is just a scam now. He probably didn't even go to the Bahamas. Except he's tan and Alan says "Well, George Hamilton Feeny" a reference to famously tan actor George Hamilton which, for some godforsaken reason the internet community has globbed on to as his middle name even though it's clearly not. To this day, the characters page for Boy Meets World on Wikipedia says his full name is George Hamilton Feeny, as do Boy Meets World Wiki and Girl Meets World Wiki. Years ago I tried in vain to remove the Hamilton from Wikipedia because it's obviously not his middle name, and it always gets changed back, so I had to give up. I'll try it onnnnneeee moooooore tiiiiime, see if it sticks.

Episode Rating: C-. If you can't tell, this episode sucks. It's got some saving graces in Eric and Cory's interaction at the end and Shawn being funny, but all in all, not good at all. 
Episode MVP: Rider Strong. Will is also a good candidate (and is runner-up) because he's given more to do than Rider is, and has some moments where he's serious, but he's pretty annoying and unremarkable in the first half. Shawn is great throughout, even in the dumb Feeny scenes. 
New Year's Rating: 4 Glasses of Champagne (A lot of New Year's things going on and an obsession with having an awesome NYE, something all of us go through, but a lot of it hinged on Eric being sad he was stuck on a train and missing his date, which could have happened at any time, so it loses a glass of champagne)

BMW: I appreciate Shawn welcoming Feeny to rock bottom and giving him a little karmic payback. You know Christian, you may be rewriting history slightly. Eric is REALLY dumb in the early seasons too, and not "he has potential" dumb, just bone dumb. He thanks Alan for giving birth to him at the beginning here. We probably ought to do a deep dive on who's really the dumbest of the boys over the first three seasons. I'm game for this. Still, I think Eric comes off smarter in this episode at least. Not smart, but smarter than Shawn. He has the occasional dumb joke (and, hell, Cory gets them from time to time too in this era, although not nearly as frequently) but his general demeanor and attitude feels smarter than Shawn. He seems to have more cognizance about the situation. He's more douchebag than he is idiot.

I agree completely with Christian's assessment of the Turner and Eli story. Honestly here, honestly you guys, just kill me. Absolutely kill me. I'll take Cult Fiction every day, gimme the speech from Cult Fiction, I don't wanna watch this.

See this is something that seems very 90's, is caring about super models, or even knowing who super models are, or like, swimsuit models. I can name zero models. As soon as I hit puberty, I already had access to infinite porn on the internet, so this is just completely foreign to me. Movie stars, TV stars, those I understand. But it seems like by about 2005 teenage boys were pretty much done with this. Also she's a bad actress.  Yeah, I can only name the models that have transcended modeling into more - Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks, Brooklyn Decker, Kate Upton, etc. And, hell, Klum and Banks likely haven't been primarily models since the '90s, they're both better known as TV hosts now. 

The subway poster is legendary and actually almost validates the whole episode. I wish they'd drawn a parallel between Shawn admitting to be at rock bottom earlier and his ability to turn this subway into a party. What really makes this for me is how casual Shawn is about it. He didn't plant a flag and say "I'm going to make the most of this!" He just... does it, he accidentally has a bunch of fun on a broken down subway, because that's who he is. It's nice. Big surprise, here I am talking about Shawn while Christian focused on Eric. Same old party lines. Haha, as soon as you started talking about wanting to see a correlation between Shawn's rock bottom comment and the subway thing I was like "Okay, we get it, you like Shawn, but this isn't his episode, we don't need him to have an arc..."

Eli's gettin laid tonight. Aw, no he's not. Honestly, they seem to be treating him more as one of the girls. I feel like he's thinks this is where he's heading and he's sadly mistaken. 

The "paaartay" thing is the worst joke in the season. Come on, Jacobs. Also, why is everyone thanking Cory? I feel like Shawn is responsible for most of this, but whatever, it happened offscreen. I appreciate Christian's analysis of "George Hamilton" Feeny. Now I know, and I'm better for it. Update: So far so good on Wikipedia not reverting my change! 

GMW: Feels like I'm watching Big Bang Theory or something at the start here, the audience is laughing just from seein the girls eat god damn cereal. All I wanted was for this episode to get off to a good start and I'd have the energy to get to the end. Ah Christ, yeah, this is the Triangle arc. I appreciate Maya's disgust at Riley putting ketchup on her mac and cheese though. 

It's this "Life wants to know, Maya" crap, the constant personification of life and thinking that it gives a shit about them, I can't stand it. Life doesn't want to know, Riley, because life doesn't care, that's Boy Meets World 101. Intro to Meeting Worlds, first lecture with Professor Sean. This show sucks. I forget their English teacher's name, but who cares because Maya's being obnoxious. Does Maya have a crush on Lucas? Almost definitely. Is she in love with him? Absolutely not! Why did we just raise the stakes so much here? Why is love suddenly in the conversation? And just as an aside, whoever made the decision (probably the network) to not have Lucas kiss Maya at that campfire should be crucified. Topanga kissed Cory in episode four, up against some lockers, and it has been universally praised for almost 25 years. The campfire was perfect, and a kiss would have made some of this drama actually compelling. I hate this so much.

WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST DO IT? WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST PAIR RILEY WITH CHARLIE AND BE DONE FOR A MINUTE? He's great, and Riley obviously has the hots for him, what's the big deal? That's the question that defines my perception of Girl Meets World as a series. Why is all of this shit such a big deal, all the time? Can't people calm down for 20 stupid minutes? 

In history class, Cory teaches a bunch of stuff that is not history. Riley is wearing some killer boots to her party, that's cool. And like, again, they're treating a kiss at midnight like it's a marriage proposal. We were fine, Farkle! Why do you have to come in and tell the audience that kissing someone at midnight is suuuuuuuuuuuch a big deal! Oh my god you guys it's suuuuuuuuuuuuch a big deal. Real big. Thank you, Girl Meets World, for explaining to me out loud why you think I should be invested.

Smackle hits on Lucas which is dumb. Lucas instantly ruins the party by sitting next to Maya and acting awkward instead of acting like a human being. Then Riley does the same thing by sitting next to Lucas. They obviously care so much about each other that they can't even talk. 

Topanga and Cory step outside of the series for a minute and have a little moment for the veteran fans like us. It's not very well written to be honest, but the heart of it is more important, and the heart of it makes me happy. 

Lucas eating the game card made me laugh pretty hard. Didn't see that coming. Riley and Charlie got a good question, asking the other's favorite movie theatre snack, which gave us some fun character flavor for everyone, and I was really hoping for more of that, but the show decides to go up its own ass instead. Farkle, buddy, you're supposed to be the smart one. You cannot possibly think this shit is that important. It's, what, 8th grade? IT DOESN'T MATTER. NONE OF IT MATTERS. And yes, I know it mimics real life because 8th graders think it matters, but that makes for a god awful show that I don't want to watch. There's no perspective. Boy Meets World almost always tries to include the perspective of someone who isn't a stupid kid. That ought to be Cory in this series, but instead he always validates the kids' problems by devoting entire lessons to it or making some big speech. He's saying boy, you kids sure have stumbled into something meaningful here. How wise and enlightened you kids must be, to be having these problems. I get it if you want to fabricate some drama with this love triangle because you're on Disney Channel. But can we please stop having Cory validate this stuff? Can Cory pass on any of the advice he got from his own father? 

Riley rejects Charlie like a big dumb idiot, and Charlie continues to be the best character by chilling out with Auggie even though he just had his heart broken. I can't believe they wrote him out of the show just like that. What a waste.

This episode is bad and the show is bad.

Man, this episode sucks. I invite you all to check out our original review, because everything stands. I'm so annoyed I don't even want to write about this episode, so I will leave you with some choice excerpts of mine, in lieu of me reviewing it.

And, like, I don't know. I don't agree with the premise here. And I don't agree with how black and white this show tends to be on how life should be lived. Harper asks what's more important, Sense or Sensibility. Lucas answers "It depends on the situation." Harper says that's wrong, they're always just as important as each other and you need both. Shut up. Lucas isn't wrong. There's no wrong answer to a question like that. The way you see life isn't the way everybody should see life, and that's not what you're here to teach. And, yeah, I think sometimes it does depend on the situation, lady. Often you need both, but sometimes one is more important than the other. In certain situations it's more much more valuable to act based on instinct and your heart. In other situations, it's more much valuable to have rational thought. Lucas gave an entirely fair answer. For her to just be like "Nope. Anyone else?" is ridiculous.

Still, it was better than Cory's dumb class. "Will this be on the test, sir?" "It will." "When is the test, sir?" "Every day." God. I can hear them high-fiving each other in the writer's room over that self-important bullshit from here.  Can we get an episode without some trite "Aren't I the wisest little dickens?" line from Cory. It's like there's an implied "Eh? EH? How 'bout THAT, huh?" after every other line he says.  

You know who pissed me the fuck off in this episode? Farkle. This is none of your damn business Farkle. Get a fucking life and let these people live theirs. You think Riley's doing the wrong thing and want to tell her so? Fine. But it is so not his place to intervene on this, I can't even believe him. What a fucking prick. He was obsessed. You fucking loser, Farkle. Fuck off.

Some other thoughts. This has been the first episode with Peyton Meyer I've seen in a WHILE, because Lucas isn't in either of the GMW Christmas episodes. And you know what? I don't know. It helps this is post-Season 1, but he's really not terrible in this. Like, Lucas isn't a great character, but Peyton Meyer does fine. And it helps that Farkle is so infuriating, because Lucas is made better by comparison. It really is a marvel that by the final season of this show I definitely liked Lucas better than Farkle. Sure, neither mattered to me, and had been eclipsed by people like Zay, Charlie, and even Josh as better young male characters, but I grew to loathe Farkle while Lucas was just whatever. Lucas had some funny moments in this -- his befuddlement by Charlie, his wondering why the class didn't continue the "Why?" thing, his eating the card in The Couples Game (though, I reiterate my concern in the original review, it was funny when Lucas did it, it was not funny when Maya did it too ten seconds later)

I just looked up the kids to see who's been doing stuff post-GMW. I mentioned, Rowan Blanchard is currently on The Goldbergs, I believe as a love interest to.... one of the Goldbergs? Tanner Buchanan's been doing a lot. I just recently saw him as a recurring character on the newest season of Fuller House, and he also plays Kiefer Sutherland's son on 24 Designated Survivor. Corey Fogelmanis has been active, Peyton Meyer much less so, Amir Mitchell-Townes has done hardly anything. The interesting one to me is Sabrina Carpenter though - she's mainly done voice work post GMW. Is she the Will Friedle of the show? I actually kind of see it, Maya did do a lot of funny voices and Sabrina does have a good voice 

I love that in the original review we somehow managed to never bring up Auggie dressed up as Baby New Year. You know who you do bring up a lot? Sarah. This was in your "obsessed with Sarah" phase. I thought it was funny. A friend of mine told me his favorite parts of BMWR were when I talked about weird stuff in the background.

Episode Rating: My original review was C, and while it's baffling for an episode this infuriating to get a stronger rating than a Boy Meets World episode that was bad but harmless, I actually do think this is probably a stronger episode of the two. It had less important things take place offstage, it's premise was less stupid, and I actually think it features better performances. What was bad about it was often, like, an ethical revulsion to the moves they make and a feeling they were compounding issues we already had with the show. As an individual episode unto itself, it is better than Train of Fools. 
Episode MVP: I gave Tanner Buchanan MVP in this one, and I think maybe that was subconsciously a consolation prize because I suspected it was his last episode (and it proved to be). He's a lot of fun in this, but he doesn't do too much. This is Rowan and Sabrina's episode, I'd give it to Sabrina in retrospect. 
New Year's Rating: 3 Glasses of Champagne There's a New Year's Eve party and some talk about maybe kissing at midnight, but really this is just about the relationships and this party could have been anything. 

Christmas Cheer

Hello all, and happy holidays. Christian suggested we write something about the Christmas episodes this year and I think that's a great idea. I just finished watching them all in one sitting, including Turnaround and Meets Home for the Holidays, and I thought I'd get the ball rolling with some general thoughts on each and a tentative, not at all final, personal ranking.



Santa's Little Helper (S1): The opening of this episode is a mess, it's almost like they switched writers after a few minutes. But once you make it past that switch, the humor improves and we end up with a strong look at Shawn's hatred of receiving charity. They manage to draw a clear line between giving gifts in the hope of being thanked, and doing it out of love, as well as Shawn's different reactions to the two. The fact that this part of Shawn's character stays consistent for the rest of the series makes me enjoy this one a lot more, right, it gains enormous value after seeing the whole series. The sincerity with which Amy is able to laugh at Morgan is equaled only by how sincerely Minkus doesn't understand why Shawn hasn't given him five dollars. I love that Minkus doesn't understand. As book smart as he is, he's still just a kid. It's incredible that they got this one so right in their first season.

Apologies if I go a little long on these, it's my first chance to review them! I'm doing my usual Episode Rating and MVP giving, but I'm also adding a Christmas Rating. This measures how much of a Christmas episode it is and I'll try to give that some consideration when trying to choose a best Christmas episode. The scale goes thusly:

5 Golden Rings - Super Christmas-y
4 Calling Birds - Mainly about Christmas, but there's at least some plotline where it doesn't really matter that it's Christmas.
3 French Hens - 50/50 split on Christmas and non-Christmas content. 
2 Turtle Doves - Not really all that much about Christmas, but it does take place at Christmas and there's some Christmas stuff going on, at least a Christmas subplot or something. 
1 Partridge - Might as well not even be Christmas for all the Christmas-y it is. 

The Top 4

Hey guys, sorry it took us so long to post this. Didn't mean to leave you guys in suspense, but we wanted to give the write-ups justice but as our interest in the blog waned it became readily apparent we didn't have the gumption to write character postings for these four the way they deserved to be written. But, here's the ranking nonetheless. We'll say a little something about them.

Sean - write the Shawn and Feeny ones!

1. Cory Matthews

It really surprised me how many people seemed to think anyone else would be Number 1. Yes, Sean's favorite character is Shawn, and yes mine's Eric, but this is clearly Cory's franchise. We found it difficult whittling down Shawn and Eric to a handful of Signature Episodes, with Cory it's literally impossible. Shawn and Eric almost always have fun stuff to do, but the episodes that truly examine them, where they're the ones driving the story... you're probably looking at 20 or so for Shawn, and maybe 10-15 for Eric. And the remaining 100+? Basically all Cory. We take him for granted, and he's few people's favorite character, but Cory's the wheel that keeps this all turning. All the characters have distinct, important relationships with him (well, besides, like... Rachel.) and most of them exist solely as different kinds of foils to Cory. Feeny's old and wise to show that Cory is young and naive, Shawn is edgy and abandoned to show that Cory is safe and beloved, Eric is charming and fun to show that Cory is geeky and awkward. It's all about Cory.

If that's not enough, he also a main character on an entirely different shows. Seriously, even if I could understand someone not thinking Cory would beat Shawn, Eric, and Feeny just ranking BMW characters, how could any of them beat him when you combine them both? Cory's an important part of Girl Meets World - combining the roles of Feeny and Alan in the story (while retaining his own unique personality) to really become a co-lead along with Riley and Maya. Meanwhile, the other three appeared in only like a handful of episodes each. How could they beat Cory? They couldn't.

Also, Cory's a great character. I'm going to hustle past this part, but he's really a lot of fun. If you boil them down to their main role, a lot of shows have characters like Shawn, Feeny, and even Eric. Few shows have someone exactly like Cory. People like Cory are usually fun supporting characters, not male leads. To go through such a traditional boy turning into a man story with such a flawed, neurotic, emotional little weirdo was a real treat.

2. Shawn Hunter

When I think of Shawn, I like to think of episodes like The Eskimo, B&B, Graduation, Turkey Day, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, right, where we've got this guy who, most of the time, genuinely believes he's worthless trailer trash, but occasionally finds the strength in himself to rise above it, or is finally willing to lean on his friends enough to have them raise him above it. That's the Shawn I love. Especially, regarding the latter part of that, it's not so much that he lets Cory raise him up, but more that he trusts his best friend so much that he's willing to believe in the version of himself that Cory sees. And that's why City Slackers is so great, and why his relationship with Turner is so great, because he also learns to trust Feeny and Turner (and Alan, in those rare magical moments) enough to believe them when they say he can rise above his station. It doesn't matter when Chet tries to give Shawn a pep talk, because Shawn knows better than anyone that Chet's words aren't worth shit. So yeah, it's really the trust Shawn builds for his non-blood family and subsequently trusting their faith in him, that's where the money is. And then it's that exact dynamic that gets spun around when he gets to know Maya. It's that exact thing, where she learns to trust Shawn enough to believe in his vision of her. It's just god damn fantastic, it really is. And there are all these other themes, right, further exploration of family, charity and his pride, poverty, womanizing, I'm just realizing this now but did Shawn get the full course of the deadly sins over the series? I don't think I can place gluttony, but the other six definitely gave Shawn at least one awesome episode each. But I digress.

The problem is, I have this little demon living on my shoulder about Shawn. It's disingenuous to talk about his amazing stories without admitting that The Fugitive happened. Cult Fiction happened, Ode to Holden Caulfield happened, Family Trees happened where he was an alcoholic for all of 20 minutes, his mostly uninspired arc with Angela happened, and his relationship with Jack was never worth more than their scenes with Chet. He worked for the mob for an episode! There is some seriously ridiculous, whiny crap mixed in with the magic, and it's frustrating, especially because I think that's what Rider Strong remembers the most. And I can't really blame him either. It's probably a lot harder to forget Cult Fiction when you actually had to act it out.

I guess the core question is this. Does the fact that Shawn is an unrealistically tortured mess automatically neuter his development arcs? Sure he complains all the time, but incredibly awful shit is constantly happening to him. So maybe it depends how far your suspension of disbelief can go. I honestly don't know. Maybe I just have to watch the series a few more times.

There was some debate about Shawn's placement in the ranking early on, but Girl Meets World pretty much dissolves any chance of debating this placement. After his growth as an adult, his continued relationship with Cory, his new relationships with Maya and (in particular) Katy, on top of everything from Boy Meets World, he is unambiguously in the top two.

3. George Feeny

Copying from a comment I wrote earlier, for Feeny I wanted to talk about his running theme of love, in particular when he lectures Cory in the pilot, "You SHREWD little observer of the human condition, having lived SO little, have already figured out the greatest mystery in the universe?" Or something like that, that's from memory. And in City Slackers his romantic diary helps Shawn finally relate to him, Eric consistently relates to him in romantic matters, it goes on and on. It's not his most important character trait, but it doesn't get the recognition it deserves so I wanted to shine some light on it. This short paragraph is obviously still not the recognition it deserves, but hopefully you'll keep an eye open for it the next time you watch the show.

We all know why Feeny is great. He's a legend. People who barely watch this show know who he is and they love him. More importantly, they love what he represents. And if absolutely nothing else, this show managed to convince people of the importance of great teachers. Girl Meets World tried to do that and mostly failed, so let's not make the mistake of thinking it's a minor accomplishment. 

I keep thinking that I should start this epic description of Feeny being this teacher who's stern but fair but wise but kind and so on, but you guys know all that already. This isn't baby's first Feeny discussion, and the real heart of the truth is that he means something special to all of us. I'm not going to tell you what makes him special because you already know. Even if it's different from what makes him special to me. 

As far as the rankings go, like Christian says in the Eric section, his influence reaches far and wide. To everyone. Except Amy. He is a relentless force for good and wisdom for seven straight seasons, and that kind of consistency should honestly be impossible. Ultimately, he's behind Shawn and Cory because he's never really the focus. The show isn't about Feeny. He does still meet the world on occasion, thanks to the other fellows on this list, but not enough to be placed above Cory or Shawn. 

4. Eric Matthews

With the possible exception of Will Friedle, there is no one who likes Eric Matthews more than I do. But Eric had to be fourth. Is he the funniest character on this, a comedy show? Absolutely. Without question. But while he's always funny, and usually hilarious, the facts are that the truly great Eric existed in only two seasons: Season 4 and 5. Season 1 is basically a different guy, Season 2 and 3 feel like beta-versions, Season 6 started to go downhill, and Season 7 hit the bottom of the hill and crashed and burned. The Eric we got in GMW was sort of a grab-bag of the different kinds of Eric, but ultimately more latter days Eric than anything else.

Shawn wasn't always consistently written either, but he usually was, and he did feel like he had one long arc - even if that arc involved him having to re-learn lessons a lot, and even if that arc involved him being awfully annoying at times. Eric's Season 3 to 4 arc is, in my opinion, better told than Shawn's was on his best day. But it lacked the consistency, the longevity, the overall impact, and the legacy of Shawn's arc. 

Plus day-to-day, Shawn was usually just more important. The strength of Eric is how he could be used in any situation and bounce off any character and be fun. So, they often have him bounce off people in B stories, because usually Cory and Shawn are leading the A story. So he just feels less focused on. It's mainly a show about Cory going to school, and half the time Cory and Eric weren't in the same school. That's gonna mean less Eric.

Eric and Feeny was closer, but ultimately the show's focus on the importance of teachers and mentors (embodied by Feeny) the way he ultimately has become kind of a pop culture teacher icon, and his lasting legacy of the same on GMW pushed him over the edge. Plus, really, I think Feeny winds up with more significant well-developed relationships on BMW than Eric does. Eric barely interacts with half the cast. Feeny interacts with everyone.

Sean's Shameless Self Promotion

Hey everyone, I know you're still waiting for the top 4, but in the meantime I've been very active on youtube the last couple months. So if you like the Kingdom Hearts series and/or profanity and/or me, definitely check out my channel https://www.youtube.com/KBManimations

There aren't actually any animations, sadly, but still. At least subscribe to make me feel good about myself. You all are an awesome and dedicated audience, and I'd hate to lose you.

That's all for now, have a great summer!

Happy Birthday, Sean!

Who's a birthday boy? Who's a big birthday boy? It's Sean! He's turning.... jesus, 25? Is that really right? He's only 25. Fuck, that guy. Also, did you know he just got into DARTMOUTH for grad school? Talk about a big grown-up birthday boy!

In celebration of Sean, I was going to suggest you watch a Shawn Hunter birthday episode! But... I don't actually think there is one, is there? He's like the only character who doesn't get one.

So instead watch Cory's birthday episodes, "Kid Gloves" and "Wheels"
Topanga's birthday episode, "Sixteen Candles and Four-Hundred Pound Men."
Eric's birthday episode, "Stormy Weather"
Alan's birthday episode, "Family Trees"
Amy's birthday episode, "City Slackers" (Fittingly for our Amy, this episode has nothing to do with the fact that it's her birthday, but it actually does take place on Amy's birthday)
Maya's birthday episode, "Girl Meets Master Plan"

Did I miss any others? And yeah, yeah, I know. Characters 1-4. 

It's me. I'm a big grown up birthday boy. 

Do any of those listed episodes tell us about Shawn's attitude toward birthdays? I think we can all predict his edgy dismissal of celebrating, but it would be nice to know for sure.

Will You Be Our Baby Valentine?