Episode Review: "Girl Meets Hollyworld" (#3.17)

This whole time Sean's had this episode titled "Girl Meets Hollyworld" rather than "Hollywood" and y'all jokers didn't notice. I'm leaving it up as proof. I'll change it tomorrow. Joke's on you, joke-joker, that's the right name. If this is the case, then the joke absolutely is on them. I like it, it still has "girl meets world" in the name, if you cover up the Holly part. You say that like having the name of the show in the episode title is of some inherent benefit.

It's almost Thanksgiving and I am thankful for Mackenzie Yeager. The Yeagermeister. That's the only pun you'll get out of me tonight, so cherish it.

Yeah, like that. 

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Apparently blogger has joined the 21st century by finally encoding native emojis, which is exactly what this blog has been missing, let me tell you. You can stop flooding the comment section begging for emojis, and I can finally end my hunger strike, because here they are. 

And yes. It's got the poop one.

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We're gonna need that one. 

Or maybe not, who knows, the rest of the season looks pretty good. I'm stalling.

What was it Shawn wanted to bring back? Reckless spontaneity? Maya might have listened.

So this kidnapped woman is actually sort of an iceberg, she's played by Deborah Lemen who is seemingly nobody. I actually wrote a whole thing here originally because imdb is wrong. The actress is in fact Stephanie Lemelin. I didn't double check until I was done with the episode, and I think I would have enjoyed it more if I'd known from the start. She's done voices for a few video games that I love, and a couple good cartoons. 
It's not easy to watch though. I can't stand her accent and the story is going nowhere, let's pleaaaaaase move it along.

I liked the line "Have you always had that lady?" Otherwise, I think they're a little too joke-y glib-y in the opening. Like, instead of it naturally being fun, it's a lot of "Oh boy, aren't WE having fun? Look at how we're talking about this wacky situation!"

And yeah, they sure don't seem in a big hurry to explain why Maya kidnapped her or what's going on. And Riley doesn't seem too curious about why Maya did it either. For an episode about kidnapping, I suspect this episode will be short on plot.

And yeah, this accent? No, no, no. Better not have to listen to this the whole episode. Betttttter not. 

I like the idea of these early scenes from Topanga's perspective. She's just reading on the couch, Riley and Maya walk in and say "How good a lawyer are you?" and Topanga answers and they walk out of the house and go to Maya's house for a bit, then come back into the house maybe an hour later, Topanga's still reading, Riley's like "Really? Never lost a case, huh?" she confirms it, Maya says "Haha!" like Nelson from the Simpsons, and they walk back out of the house.

I like it because there's nothing else to like here. This sucks so far. Hard. They're stalling soooooo aggressively. It's like 5 minutes in, and we don't know what the deal is.

I thought "I'm laughing because what on Earth is my father going to put on the board for this one?" is a funny line, but then they literally went to school in the next scene. What is it, the next day? Did they do all that, including three trips to Maya's from Riley's just in the morning before school? In high school, I barely had time to grab my books and give myself a look and make it to the corner to see the BUS DRIVE BY. But it's alright, because I was saved by the bell. 

Oh, and then so what? They go through the whole day? This lady just let her kidnapped an entire day? Where's Katy or Shawn? SCREAM, lady. Enough's enough. 

Okay Maya kidnapped her to make sure Katy gets a part in a movie. ("Okay, so, now that you've aided me while I kidnapped this woman for an entire day, let me tell you why we did it since you haven't asked.") Look I'm totally up for shenanigans. Shenanigans are the fuel that runs the Meets World engine. But I don't think even season 7 Eric ever went this far. 

Oh, there's Katy. Welcome to your fucking house, lady. Waltzing in, taking new fountains in your daughter's room like a champ.

My favorite part about the episode is where the audience laughs every time Anastasia said something. You know, because she said it with a ridiculous French accent? Don't you like it? Please respond.

Guys you're not gonna believe it! She switched to a ridiculous southern accent! Don't you like it? Please respond.

Hey Katy and whosit are old friends, the lore is just so rich on this show. 

Riley and Maya are carrying this episode pretty hard so far. The story is... off the rails... but Yeager has maintained her ability to make the two leads a joy to watch. I loved them flipping out at the revelations. I also like

If it doesn't turn out that "Anastasia" portmanteau'd her fake last name "Boulangerie" out of "bologna" and "lingerie," I'm gonna riot in the streets.  "Boulangerie" is the French word for "bakery". Anastasia Bakery. Didn't have to look it up, I've been to France. Where would you be without me? I bring CLASS to this outfit. *edit* She didn't, I'm disappointed, but life goes on. *end edit* Regardless, the one interesting throughline so far is the question of just how far Riley is willing to go to stay by Maya's side, which is the sort of compelling question that we expect from Meets World. And it looks like Katy and Bobbie Joe went splitsville despite once being as close as Riley and Maya. 

It's weird how Katy is now Katy Hunter but Maya is still Maya Hart. We've finally gotten around to establishing that Clutterbucket is Katy's maiden name and Hart is Kermit's name. And Kermit is garbage and Maya has no connection to him. If Katy switched, you'd think Maya would switch. I figured the only reason Katy was keeping Hart was professionally, but apparently not. 

Instantly Riley asks the question I was dreading, "how can this happen to best friendsssssssssssssss" blah blah blahhhhhhhhhh disney magiccccccccccc shut up. Like, has Riley just never HEARD of two best friends becoming distant? This one event has shattered her belief in best frienditude? Come onnnnnnnnn. Especially since she's seen evidence of it. Cory and Shawn never had a falling out, but by the beginning of GMW they'd grown apart and she was aware of that. Also Jack told her how estranged he'd grown from Rachel. 

Wohoah let's calm down there, lioness. Little less talk a little more rock you know what I mean? Little less fight a little more spark. 

Half of that was right. I don't listen to Elvis. Speaking of Elvis, I'm taking Farkle showing up in that costume and they're like "You're keeping the costume?" and he's like "What costume?" as a shout-out to the kid in the cape from "Cory's Alternative Friends." I'd much prefer if Farkle was that kid's son. That was just a really good bit. "I gotta ask. Every day you come to school in a cape. Always a cape. What's the deal with the cape?" "What cape?" That's hilarious. I wonder if that aired earlier than the Seinfel cape episode. I checked, it DID. It aired a season earlier. So, they didn't rip Seinfeld off with that as I always assumed. Good on you BMW. 

Here are some clips from the Seinfeld cape episode. 

I'm glad this movie director is asking a group of kids where a missing famous movie star is. That's smart. That's clean detective work. Take notes, Officer Yogi's Dad (Yogi's dad is named Officer Yogi, so it sounds like you're asking Grandpa Yogi to do it, which is sad, because Grandpa Yogi is dead), cuz you don't know what you're doin.

I remember this guy who plays Sarah's dad from a minor role in an episode of The West Wing. He was much less hairy and looked young and fit and vital. Time comes for us all. But he's good in this. I like his delivey of "Also because... we can't find the other one." and "I mean, I was just gonna look around, but hey!"

Sarah wrote a screenplay, meta humor, blah blah blah, really would like to move on with the story please. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We just learned Sarah's whole backstory and deal, and that's all you got? Sarah! Your girl Sarah! What HAPPENED to you? Also, Sarah's last name has been previously established as being "Carpenter" (her real last name) and now her father's name is D.W. Kreminger. Probably Sarah's folks are divorced and Kreminger primarily lives in California and it's enough of a break that Sarah goes by Carpenter, but she and her dad are cool. But jeez, Sarah. Maya goes by her dad's last name and she's barely met the dude. I'm all up in arms about last names and dads today.

Okay, if we're keeping a running list of good stuff here, let's add Topanga being relevant in some capacity other than a mother. Cory is relevant as both teacher and father in every episode, while Topanga is just the mother 99 times out of a hundred. So here we go, lawyer Topanga, that's great. Ava and Doy are nowhere to be seen. As an aside, fuck Doy. That kid's been on Shameless two weeks in a row. That is not a show for him. His... his mom would not want him watching the show that he stars in. And I hate him. And he sucks. Jeez, get off his back, he's adorable.

I don't know you guys. Maya lucked out of a serious fucking crime on the one in a billion chance that the kidnapee was childhood best friends with her mother. That is not compelling writing.

Not just that they'e childhood best friends, but that Anastasia would be SO fucking cool with this. If my childhood best friend's child kidnapped me for days (and it's been two days at this point, we've had a wardrobe change, and we've had two school days) I don't care what unresolved history we have, I'm calling the police and they're all going to prison. You hear that CHARLIE from MADISON ELEMENTARY And EDISON MIDDLE SCHOOL? You're on notice. 

 It sounds like a soap opera honestly, like I'd see it on the cover of Soap Digest in the checkout aisle, "Anastasia secretly childhood best friends with WHO??? WE GOT THE TELL ALL FROM THE ACTORS, YOU WON'T READ IT ANYWHERE ELSE."

Hey, Sean, wanna see something? From top to bottom the characters on that magazine arrreeeee... Steve and Kayla Johnson (of Days of our Lives), Rex Balsom (of One Life to Live), Zach Slater & Kendall Hart (of All My Children), a woman I don't know, Marcie & Michael McBain (of One Life to Live), and Max Brady (of Days of our Lives).

Yeah, I used to watch soap operas growing up, most only off and on but I religiously watched Days of our Lives for a period of about 15 years, stopping when they killed off my favorite character, Jack Deveraux, at which point I was, like, an adult and was kind of over it. Because make no mistake, they'e usually not great. Fun fact, that woman Kayla up there at the top? Big deal. My numbers may be slightly of here, but only slightly - in 1986 the name 'Kayla' wasn't even in the top 500 female baby names. In 1987, a year later, it was in the top 5. You know what happened? That character came on Days of our Lives. Isn't that nuts?

Anyway, there you go. New information about Christian. Back to our show!

Oh good, teenage wisdom about REAL best friends. I just don't wanna hear it. The hallmark of Boy Meets World was that Shawn and Cory don't know shit. I'm so sick of hearing wisdom from teenagers. I'M SO SICK OF IT. 

When Shawn proposed to Katy, did he know that she used to be a Possum Trotter? Is this what gets Shawn going these days? I'm sure he's seen a few private performances of this Trot. Objectively it's pretty great, more backstory for Katy is welcome any time, it's just really silly. 

Bologna Joe does not, in fact, betray everyone after being uncuffed like I thought she would. So we have to watch more Possum Trotting and to be perfectly honest I don't know why.

Topanga throwing in that line "You could have lifted up that radiator anytime you wanted to, I wouldn't call this a kidnapping." felt very much like a last minute addition because someone on the writers staff was like "Hey, um, guys. So, Maya and Riley kidnapped someone in this episode." and they decided to throw in a line like "See? It wasn't a kidnapping! Maya and Riley don't kidnap! You can still like them!"

Who doesn't love boots though. Whoooooooo doesn't. 

Cheryl is ridiculously attractive, is the point I'm trying to make. That's true. I was thinking about being subtle, doing my own little trot around the issue, but you know, subtlety, this is Girl Meets World Reviewed on Blogspot. It's not Hemingway.

Fooled you, that's not Hemingway either. Not me. I've been to Hemingway.

Maya informs us that friends are supposed to be friends because she has literally never heard of friends growing apart before today. It's dumb, I'm sorry. 

You know what was cool about Cory during the breakup and marriage arcs? Cool but also annoying, was that whenever Topanga brought up divorce statistics or all the odds against them, Cory just doesn't care. He is so completely solid in believing in his relationship, and while it wasn't logical, I totally respect him for believing in something. Nothing (except Lauren for like five minutes) in the world could shake Cory's belief that he would always love Topanga, and always love Shawn, and nobody else in the world matters. But it seems like every other god damn episode of this show is like
Girl 1: Oh my GOD what if we're not FRIENDS FOREVER
Girl 2: Oh GOD, you're RIGHT, what IF. 

There's a bit of poking fun at Lucas and Zay which is great, they've been in a very comfortable place for the last handful of episodes. I don't know why we bothered pairing up Riley and Lucas if it would never matter, but fine.

Do you guys wanna hear me do a pitch perfect impression of Anastasia's French accent? 

So I guess Katy is getting the part in a movie because this is Disney channel and it is literally illegal to show a struggling actress or musician fail on this channel. They must always succeed, every show, every time, no matter what. Did Katy earn it? Who cares! Maybe! She's in her forties! Eh, no, I don't think she's in her 40s. I mean, Shawn's not. Cory and Topanga aren't. And Cheryl Texiera's only 34. And wait until she sees what you just said about her! That's not how life works! I'll give them a pass on this one. For one thing, Katy's established as having been struggling to make a living as an actress Maya's entire life. That's a long time. Success in acting has not come easy for Katy, we just haven't seen the failures on-camera. For another thing, this story is literally about her. 

Okay I'm wrong, it's possible. It's just so Disney Channel that it bothers me.

For some reason Cory asks Maya to tell us about her life and she says some shit I don't know, the most important takeaway from this episode is Zay Whaaaaat?

God I love Zay. I really do. He's great. Remember when we didn't like him? He's now my favorite character that wasn't in BMW probably. Granted, that still puts him behind like everyone from BMW. Besides Jack. And Harley. And Angela. And Minkus. And Jennifer. So, okay, he's doing well. 

HEY! What happened to Zay liking Maya?! They totally dropped that too! God, this show sucks with romances.

You know what I would have done? I would have had Farkle get the part of Lucas, or vice-versa. Hell, that's just what I would have made the plot of this episode about. Lucas and Farkle audition for their own parts in a movie and both get cast, but in the opposite role. And Lucas is insecure about it, and Farkle is cocky about it, and they both have to learn each other's mannerisms.

I don't know what to say, this episode is super weird. The ending tried to pretend that some revelation was made between Riley and Maya but... what's new exactly? They're going to stay friends? We knew that since the Pilot episode. So in that regard, I can't really say that I care too much, there wasn't any character development in Riley or Maya at all. Anastasia herself annoyed the crap out of me, but Katy is a cool character and we got to do a bit of world building with her. So that's good.

I just have no idea what the takeaway is here. You can still do your old best friend a favor if you're rich and famous? You can turn your shitty screenplay into a movie as a teenager because of the rampant nepotism in Hollywood? That second one is that real shit, I wasn't ready for that level of commentary on the industry. It's kind of sad actually, Sarah the person is probably only here because of her sister, and Sarah the character only got her screenplay produced because of her father. Oops.

Happy Thanksgiving. Christian wants to write a screenplay where Frankie goes on a cross country trip to reconnect with his father Vader who is sort of dying in actual real life. Pester him to get it finished and email your suggestions to him at *redacted*

Well, more accurately I just kind of want one to be made. I don't really have any ideas for it. 

This wasn't very good.

Episode Rating: C-

Episode MVP: Rowan Blanchard, I didn't really talk about it, but she was great.

Episode Review: "Girl Meets Her Monster" (#3.16)

I was having a pretty decent night and then I remembered that I have to do this. I just want to watch old episodes of Leverage and drink myself to death, but Girl Meets World took that away from me. And apparently people at Christian's job call him "Chris" so I think we should all make fun of him about that.

No, they call me Christian at my office. There's like a bunch of Chrises in my office, so me being Christian is pretty helpful actually. That wasn't a direct quote in my status. But a lot of friends and family call me Chris, it's not something I have a problem going with. 

Hey Chris, you suck. Your Cubs suck too.

Nope. The Cubs are the best and they won the World Series and it was like the best night of my life and I love them. 

Anyway, I haven't watched the episoe yet. 

Nailed it.

This episode was half written by Danielle Fishel and right out of the gate I'm impressed. The writers for this show seem pretty feast or famine, either they GET IT or they know even less than Jon Snow. It's Riley and Maya hanging out, singing the closing theme to some show on Netflix and they're about to watch episode a billion of the series. WAS THAT SO HARD? WAS THAT THE HARDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE? THAT'S ALL I EVER ASKED FOR. SUDDENLY THEY'RE REAL PEOPLE. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said it was impossible to do anything other than fucking soul searching in the Bay Window. But they're just watching Netflix! I'm so happy.

I think it's hilarious that it took Fishel herself writing the script to get Topanga in a scene with someone other than god damn Auggie.

Riley decides to defy her mother for the first time since the Reagan administration by watching more episodes of Red Planet Diaries instead of helping at the bakery. I'm glad this episode exists because we get to see what Danielle thinks Topanga is supposed to be, what she thinks her own character's place and power are. And she impresses me right away by having Riley dismiss her mother's power. Pretty much everyone who writes or comments on this blog has expressed distaste for Topanga's godlike power and influence in this show, and immediately Danielle dismisses that power by having Riley dismiss it. Excellent.

Cory is having a breakdown about it, but that shouldn't surprise anyone. It's not my favorite quality of Cory's, but that's who he has always been. 

So yeah that's the second writer, but my job is a lot easier if I don't have to qualify every point with "If we assume Danielle wrote this and not the other guy..." So I'm just gonna proceed assuming these are mostly her ideas, and maybe Ashmawey helped her frame the story or something.

Aw, that's not fair. Maybe Ashmawey contributed a lot. Maybe Danielle's contribution was just "I want to do an episode where Topanga's a main character and maybe she and Riley get in a fight." and Ashmawey took the ball and ran with it.

They give Sarah an extremely rare line where she sort of breaks the fourth wall. It's a cute joke, I'm sure she had fun with it, so that's good enough. 

Pictured: Real time footage

Arite, anyway. Anybody else notice how overqualified Amir is for this show? Man he has made progress. Was he this good when he started? I was blinded by how awful Zay was written, but now, he is sooooooooooo comfortable on camera. I hope he sees more work after this show. I won't watch it, but... I hope he gets it.

Auggie sucks, nobody cares.

The dialogue gets a little too on-the-nose about its self awareness here as Riley describes the difference between real life and television. I'll blame Ashmawey for that. Sorry bro, shoulda known what you were getting into.

Oh come on, Boy Meets World did that too. "But that was a TV show, this is real life." "Trust me, it's the same thing." "But TV can combine many days in one 30 minute show." "Trust me, it's the same thing." That could easily be Danielle. I DON'T LIKE YOU USING ASHMAWEY AS A SCAPEGOAT, SEAN.

Topanga's pissed, but Riley stands her ground for probably the first time ever. I still hate Auggie, but his seizing the moment to gain favor with his mother is eerily reminiscent of when my own older sister got in trouble. Too real, can't handle. 

Danielle also directed this episode, and as I've said many times I don't know dick about directing, but one moment here definitely caught my eye. Rowan is taller than Danielle. The fact that I didn't know that speaks to the way their scenes together are usually shot. That's been true for a while. In Season 1 they were the same height and in Minkus' first episode, Topanga comments on it as a point of pride for Riley. HOWEVER! For seemingly no reason, the shot switches to a zoomed out camera. Like, it's MID SENTENCE that they do this, and the only possible reason is to MAKE SURE WE KNOW that Riley is taller than her mother now. 

Riley's defense in this story is that she's growing up mentally, and Danielle uses this shot to complement that by showing how she's grown up physically. Pretty much every shot here makes sure we notice that Riley is taller. They could have had Riley sitting down for this, which I imagine is why almost every scene with these two is at the dinner table, so I think Danielle definitely wanted to reinforce the height difference in this scene. It really adds a lot to this struggle of a parent trying to scold their child, when that child is larger than them. Our default is to side with the parent, but the framing makes us wonder if maybe Riley is too old for this bullshit. Very well done.

Eh, I think you may be over-reading that. Again, it's a fact been true for most of the series, and Riley's height is well known and has been remarked upon. Riley's never really been shorter than her, she was the same height by like episode 7.

I'm PRETTY SURE... Like, 99% sure... That I have been saying for YEARS that we need to see Riley get in trouble, and now here it is and it's one of the best executed scenes all season. You might almost think that I know what I'm talking about.

In class, Lucas doesn't have much to say except reminding us that he brought s'mores to the finale viewing party. Danielle clearly understands what version of Lucas works. She's really knocking this out of the park so far. Unlike the Cubs, who suck. What city in Florida do you live closest by? I want to know who to mock. 

Cory's discussion about diplomatic surrender compels Riley to take that route with her mother. This is the example I always go to, but in Me And Mr. Joad, Turner doesn't give a shit about shit, he's just trying to teach a book to some kids, and then Shawn and Cory run away with the idea. I really wish that could have happened here, but it's hard to imagine Cory not tailoring this lesson to his daughter's situation. 

I think this battle scene between Riley and Topanga strikes a really good balance. I find myself identifying with Riley (interesting, I've been firmly on Team Topanga this whole episode), but I'm sure any parent watching with their kid would identify with Topanga, basically this idea of "You think you deserve something for not being a piece of shit all the time?" But when you're younger, you're thinking "I could so easily be a piece of shit all the time, and you're lucky that I'm not." It's definitely not black and white, and Meets World always thrives in the gray areas. Unless of course this episode ends with Topanga being black-and-white correct, in which case this was all a waste of time and I'll regret saying good things about it.

Here again Danielle uses their height as the basis of the shot. They start out both seated, Topanga goes on the offensive as she stands up, as in the above picture, but then Riley stands up to retaliate and again it zooms out to make sure we see their heights.

Riley decides to take Eric's Stormy Weather route when her parents play the "live under our roof" card, like Alan did all those years ago. Lemme tell you somethin, every kid in America hates that card. I'm really nervous about the resolution of this episode, because young people are identifying pretty hard with Riley in this fight. Every teenager has had this fight their parents, and no one is going to be satisfied with a preachy respect-your-elders resolution.

So Riley takes her seventeen dollars over to Maya's. Is Shawn here? He must be, right? The fact that Shawn lives with Maya now is probably never going to come up, but it's a pretty significant lore point.

This bothers me too. Maya's place is in a shady neighbohood, and is clearly pretty small and crappy. Shawn has a gorgeous home upstate in the country. They should be living there. Maybe he and Katy decided that they will eventually move to Shawn's place, but they don't want to take Maya away from her school and friends in high school and will ride out the next three and a half years and then move upstate. That is what I will pretend. 

And yeah, where is Shawn in all this? If he knew what was going on, he would send Riley right the fuck back home. I get you can't use Rider much, but mention him when we're at where he should live.

"Riley is my entire reason for being."

Ahahaha, that's fantastic, she doesn't give a shit about Auggie. Oh I love this script, I really do. Even more because the sentiment mirrors the magnificent Uncle Daddy in season 4 of Boy Meets World, "You think he likes yelling at us? ... He doesn't, he hates it." 

Auggie's "That's honest." has got to be the funniest thing he's ever said.

Indeed, both Topanga and Riley want to apologize to the other. That's a relief. Topanga retains her Topanganess while still managing to concede ground, as does Riley. I don't really want Cory to interject his life lesson here, but maybe it's in the contract or something. Wow okay, "The thing human beings are entitled to, is to make a wrong decision every once in a while." 

That is a god damn sequel! That is how you make a sequel! That is Cory Matthews passing on his life experience. A lesson from Cory's own heart, from his own life, from the Cory we all know. I can't believe it, I never thought I would see this day. That's all I ever wanted. That's... all I ever wanted...

I do want to note that his full line though is "You know the difference between martians and human beings? The thing human beings are entitled to is making a wrong decision every once in a while." Martians can't mistakes? Says who? That's such a weird statement, and it's said in Cory's serious voice with nice music. Why are we bringing martians into this at all? I get it's because of Red Planet Diaries, but that was just a silly sentiment. That was too clever by half.

During the tag scene, Riley and her friends ever so slightly break the rules of being grounded by singing the Red Planet Diaries theme song together.

And that's perfect, honestly. She's paying the consequences, but they're still teenagers. That's something Michael Jacobs has understood since day god damn one. This is THE. FIRST. TIME. that Riley has felt like a Matthews. She has been a Lawrence since season 1, but today my friends, Riley is a Matthews. She took a stand, learned a lesson, and even though she wasn't necessarily wrong, she is still meeting the world in understanding how things have to work. It's odd that they didn't draw any direct lines from Riley's behavior here to Cory's old penchant for getting in trouble, so it may not have even been deliberate, but it's definitely still there.

What has felt so Lawrence-y about her since Season 1 exactly? I guess I can't think of what defines the Lawrences as a family. 

So we had Riley and Maya being real people, Sarah got some lines, the boys were all the goofy versions of themselves that work the best, Riley channeled her Matthews bloodline, she got in trouble like I've wanted since the very beginning, Topanga doesn't care about Auggie, Cory gave us a lesson based on his own life, and we got a classic Meets World gray area resolution to an extremely relatable teenager vs parent fight, in addition to the compelling directorial choices made by Danielle that I talked about. This episode is excellent. It makes me incredibly happy that Danielle understands what makes this universe compelling. The Strong brothers have done a lot of directing, but the only other episode written by a cast member was of course the brilliant Meets Semi Formal by Will Friedle. The actors really get it, man. That's fantastic.

It's two episodes in a row now that I've used the phrase "That's all I ever wanted," and the next episode was written by the legend herself, Mackenzie Yeager, and directed by Ben Savage. Am I actually excited? Is this what excitement feels like? 

Hot damn.

I'm not going to say too much in this very delayed review because I suspect most people have moved on from this episode and won't read it. And because I more or less agree with Sean on all fronts. This was a great episode. Sean hit the major points, I kind of chimed in when I wanted.

No way of knowing if this was mainly Danielle with just some input from Ashmawey, a professional, to turn it into a script. Or if this was Danielle had an idea and Ashmawey essentially wrote it himself, Art of the Deal style. 

What I have been able to discover is that in 2015 Ibrahim Ashmawey wrote and co-starred in a movie directed by Omar Ashmawey (who appears to be his brother) that starred as as its lead... Danielle Fishel. So, my guess is Danielle had an idea for an episode, but didn't feel like she had the chops to make a whole script out of it, so she approached a writer she had just worked with to collaborate and bing bang boom Girl Meets Her Monster.

Anyway, I'm not going to say anything else beyond.

Episode Rating: A
Episode MVP: Danielle Fishel, naturally, but I really thought Rowan and Ben were great too.