Design change?

For the first time since creating this thing, I fiddled with the design. Added a shabbily put together banner, changed the color scheme to blue and purple to reflect the logo. Thoughts? Like this? Like the old one better? Want it to be different entirely? Couldn't care less? Let me know!

Morgan to return!

Hey guys,

To keep this blog alive in what is apparently more than a month long wait until the next episode of Girl Meets World, here I am popping in with news.

So, the GMW writers confirmed today that Cory and Eric's sister, Morgan, will indeed appear, and while they didn't specify Season 2, if they're confirming it, it's probably Season 2.

Oddly, though, when asked who would be playing her they said "We'll probably start chronologically." which means... what? Maybe it just means Lily Nicksay, but it also kind of sounds like it means she'll be in two episodes and in the first she'll be played by Lily Nicksay and in a later episode she'll be Lindsay Ridgeway? 'Cause... please don't do that. That sounds stupid. Just pick one. I don't even care which. I'd probably prefer Nicksay, but Ridgeway did have the role longer, so she's fine too. But pick one. The other one can cameo as someone else sometime.

Besides this casting ambiguity, though, I'm actually excited for the idea. Sure, Morgan was largely useless on Boy Meets World, but GMW can be a chance for her to prove her relevance to the franchise, much like it appears to be Josh's chance to do the same. She'd be in her late 20s now, and would offer a great opportunity to be a 'cool aunt' for Riley, giving her a younger, possibly hipper, female role model to look up to than Topanga. Riley should have one of those, someone representing the kind of person Riley wants to be in 10-15 years.

So, any thoughts on this? And is there a consensus on who should play Morgan?

Episode Review: Girl Meets Farkle's Choice (#1.19)

Episode Title: "Girl Meets Farkle's Choice"
Episode Number: 19
Boy Meets World Episodes Borrowed From: I can't think of anything for the main plot, but the subplot with Topanga and Auggie reminded me a bit of Season 1's "Class Pre-Union" where Morgan had an obnoxious friend with an obnoxious mother, and Amy and Morgan like... taught'em a lesson.
Cory's History Lesson and Relevance: Poor little Canada is our greatest ally, so we best not take them for granted. He's really condescending toward Canada. I guess it's relevant, but I don't necessarily grant his premise.
Episode Review: 

Let's get some other topics out of the way since... who cares about this episode? It was announced this week that both Trina McGee-Davis (Angela) and Blake Clark (Chet) will be returning to Girl Meets World in Season 2 - joining Will Friedle, Rider Strong, William Daniel, and a cadre of other BMW vets for that season. What do we think of this? I already spoke about my thoughts about the idea of Angela's return in the "Master Plan" review - I'm not against the idea, as long as it's to provide Shawn with closure and not reunite them. Chet, though? Why Chet? Don't get me wrong, I like Chet a lot. Probably my favorite non-main-cast-member BMW character. But the guy's been dead for 15 years. The actor has aged since then. They went to the ghost well once-too-often as it is. I think this is a mistake. But - is it kind of a "Screw it. We want to bring everyone back at least once. And how else do we get Blake Clark on?" situation?

Retro Episode Mini-Review: #1.14: "Girl Meets Friendship"

So, there's six episodes I haven't reviewed. The first four, because it was pre-blog, and "Girl Meets Flaws" and "Friendship", because I hate them. So, I'm going to do mini-reviews of them all sort of ad hoc in no order and on no time table. Up first, "Girl Meets Friendship" because it happened to be on TV this morning and I have a day off. 

Episode Title: "Girl Meets Friendship"
Episode Number: 14
Boy Meets World Episodes Borrowed From: Season 2's "I am Not a Crook", full-stop. Also Season 1's "Father Know Less" as a subplot.
Cory's History Lesson and Relevance: Democracy vs. Dictatorship, which, sure, very relevant to an episode about elections.

Episode Review: 

This episode sucks. I also suspect it was one that was written and produced much earlier. People still feel like they're being introduced, and we're going with some earlier dynamics - Ben Savage is still a little rusty, Farkle's got his evil streak that he doesn't really have anymore, Maya's all upset about not bothering Lucas with her jokes which she doesn't really do anymore, Lucas is... relevant to the plot which hasn't been a thing in a while. Oh, and because Lucas is relevant, it sucks. 

I talked about this before, but the most bizarre part is this weird 'The Rebel' kid that they try to introduce. I'm not sure they even tell us his name. He just kind of shows up in one scene, isn't relevant again for the rest of the episode, until the very end when he again just kind of shows up to like... tell us what a Secretary of State does. And he's not remotely rebellious, so I'm not sure why they refer to him that way. Unless rebellious means calling Lucas "Harmonica" and calling Maya "Art"? But otherwise he's just nice and smart and polite. I don't know if an earlier version of the episode included him in a larger role or something and most of it got cut? And they never use him again. But they clearly had some idea that maybe he was going to be a character, and maybe Maya's love interest? I really don't know what the hell's going on with this kid. It seems like they replaced whatever role he was going to play with perhaps Josh? It was a good move. This kid is the weirdest thing. I can't get past it. 

So, the episode is a blatant rip-off of "I am Not a Crook." with people running for Class President, making

outrageous promises, and turning on each other. This episode is handled MUCH worse for a lot of reasons. Mainly because it just not as well written. But at it's most basic concept it's messed up too. The different governments thing is stupid (and it's ridiculous that Farkle, even at his most extreme, would want to evoke, like, Fidel Castro and Kim Jong Un in the way he comports himself. Everyone's extremely quick to turn on each other whereas it seemed to happen for a reason with Cory and Shawn, and most of the slander was just between Cory and the Minkus-Clone. Also, the promises they make aren't as funny or as believable. Instead it's people getting too excited about free t-shirts and stuff.  And it ends with them learning that democracy is a better form of government than fascism and monarchies. Like.... thanks, Girl Meets World. American pre-teens all over are struggling with that. 

God, everyone's just such an unlikable snide shit in this episode. Maya and Farkle obviously, but even Lucas. Riley, like, says hi to him when he's on the phone and he snaps "EXCUSE ME. This phone call is PERSONAL." Oh, and he's all bent out of shape because his dad won't fly him out to Texas for the second weekend in a row. Shut up, Lucas. At the end he feels better because Maya and Riley get his friends to send him a video taped message standing in front of the WORST greenscreen for Texas I've ever seen. Why did that have to look so lame? Just give these kids a video camera and have them just actually... go outside. 

Then there's a subplot with Auggie not being able to sleep. And I guess the reason is he refuses to sleep because both Cory and Topanga aren't tucking him in, just one of them is. So, he sucks too. And they do the plot of "Father Knows Less" in miniature in there too, with Cory keeping Auggie up late to watch a baseball game with him.

And, in the end, Lucas and Riley ride off on a white horse, to just tie a nice little bow over the worst thing I've ever seen.

Episode Rating: F. This episode is the worst in the series, and a total failure from top to bottom. It's abysmally written, the plot's bad and made up of two flagrant rip-offs of classic Boy Meets World episodes, everyone is unlikable, and the thing with The Rebel is just bizarre. Nothing positive here.
Episode MVP: Danielle Fishel, just because she's kind of funny in one scene where she's sleep-deprived. And because at least she avoids being tainted with the school plot. 

Episode Review: "Girl Meets Master Plan" (#1.18)

Episode Title: "Girl Meets Master Plan"
Episode Number: 18
Boy Meets World Episodes Borrowed From: It's its own main plot, but there's a subplot strongly evoking "Bee True."
Cory's History Lesson and Relevance: No class! Yay!

Episode Review: 

We begin with an absolutely lovely scene between Riley and Maya. It's Maya's 14th birthday (many have pointed out why this is off because a) 14-year-olds generally aren't in 7th grade and b) Riley only recently started being called 13, but whatever... Maya could easily have been held back. I'd have difficulty buying her as only just turning 13 now). There's a lot of funny back and forth here involving Riley being cheerily blunt about both of their eventual deaths, Maya pretending to not understand why Riley got two rings, and Riley being furious and wanting to intervene when she finds out Maya's mom apparently forgot her birthday. 

Riley and Maya get a lot of back-and-forth banter-y scenes like this, and sometimes they can be a mixed bags. They're both strong young actresses, but there's just a comic timing to these kinds of things that I think sometimes they're not quite experienced enough to handle always (Lucas and Farkle usually fare even worse). But, obviously, they're growing (Ben Savage and Rider Strong certainly weren't there yet at this age either) and this scene is delivered very, very well. Riley's in her manic head-in-the-clouds sunshine-and-rainbows mode, which is where I enjoy her most. Much like her TV father, Rowan Blanchard is stronger at comedy than drama, and when she has to anchor scenes from an emotional stand-point it usually rings false. It's better when they can use her in this capacity, and leave the drama for Sabrina Carpenter (again, perhaps a by-product of Blanchard being two years younger)

For some reason, the two exit into the next scene via... the front door... when they were in Riley's room. Maybe more time passed than I thought and they left for no reason and came back? I dunno. Anyway, Shawn's here! Audience woos! As I think I said before, while we knew Shawn had one more episode this season, I'm surprised it's so soon, there's only been one episode in between the appearances. They may have wanted to space them out more, so we don't get used to him - since I'm fairly certain it's the last we're seeing of him this season. But who cares! Shawn! Ahh!

Cory and Topanga arrive with Maya's birthday cake and Cory, ignorant of who is standing behind him as is his way, starts talking about how they should give the cake to Katy, in anticipation of her forgetting Maya's birthday. Topanga tries to clue Cory in and, surprisingly, Cory figures out Maya's behind him without looking. Maybe because this exact same thing has happened to him no less than twenty times. In Boy Meets World it happened so often that they had to be continuously inventive about the joke they'd make when Cory realized who was behind him, because they kept using all the obvious ones up. This one's so-so - with him acknowledging how much it happens, being smart enough to realize Maya's behind, but continuing to insult Shawn's mom in comparison ("UH OH! IT'S TUESDAY! I BETTER RUN AWAY!") since why would he guess Shawn's there? Shawn's episodes have featured quite a a few references to Virna, haven't they? More so than references to Chet, which is unusual because of how much more attention Chet got on BMW. I know some of it might be because Maya's issues are right now more with her mom (maybe Chet will become more a reference point whenever we get around to meeting Maya's dad, which I imagine we eventually will) but I also wonder if, with Chet long dead and buried, they decide to re-examine Shawn's relationship with his mother, which pretty randomly got a train run over it after their reconnection in Season 4. I also suspect they may have retconned away the bizarre eleventh hour  revelation that she was never Shawn's mother in the first place.

Anyway, this is another excellent scene with the five of them (Where's Auggie? Beats me.) and Rider Strong continues to not have lost a beat in playing Shawn. His delivery of everything is just really good and really Shawn. When the girls essentially ask him if he's seeing anybody, though, Shawn's answer (after confirming "Angela Time?" with Copanga) is to explain that fifteen years ago he was in love with Angela, who broke up with him. Which is stupid. What, is that your most recent relationship? Really? I don't believe that. I get that Angela's a big touchstone for the audience, but I resent the idea that Shawn's not had a real relationship since then because of her. I'd much prefer that she was just the first in a string of failed relationships and that she, specifically, wasn't really a factor anymore. They don't necessarily make this impossible with what they say, so it's what I'll choose to believe, and that they just didn't want to mention a lot of girls so as not to imply Shawn's promiscuous. Even though he's Shawn Hunter. And we all know how Shawn Hunter rolls.

Speaking of Angela, because we're only five minutes in and I've already written the first half of a novella about this episode, I think now's a good time to pause and have an unavoidable "Angela Time" of our own. As a guy who hung around Boy Meets World forums in the interim between the show's ending and now, I know that one of the most hotly debated aspects of the way BMW ended was how Shawn and Angela left things. This continued to be a point of contention when GMW was announced, and it became clear we were going to get some sort of definitive answer after all. It always struck me as obvious that Angela's final episode, "Angela's Ashes", was meant to firmly stick a fork in Shawn and Angela. Their final scene starts at 18:20 in this video.

See? Pretty cut and dry right? 'Goodbye' means it's over, so they better not say it! But Shawn says it. Though Angela acts as though this arrangement is only for a year, Shawn knows better. And, as we've seen, he's right. I never thought there was an implication that they'd get back together after that year because.... well, why would they have had to include all of that in the first place? Show was almost over, just leave them together and not even write this episode.

And I think that was the right choice. Most people don't end up with their high school girlfriend. I didn't, and none of my friends did either. I think I can think of one couple I'm aware of from my high school who actually have gotten married (and, at 26, it's a little premature to say they definitively ended up happily ever after either) Cory and Topanga did end up together forever because it's Cory and Topanga and of course they did. But, like... that's the one you get. You can't do that with their best friends too. It's just too hokey and ridiculous. On a show like this, you need to have some representation of how relationships at that age really work. I, personally, wish they'd been more Winnie Cooper with Topanga and not had her and Cory end up together, but that ship had sailed, so it was left to Shawn. 

To that same end, then, I do not want Shawn to wind up with Angela, and I would be extremely disappointed if they did. It's been fifteen years, they haven't seen each other, Shawn seems to have more issue with how often he's been abandoned, not specifically that Angela's not in his life anymore. I would like to see her in an episode, just because she was an important enough part of BMW to warrant a guest shot, and maybe it can provide some Shangela closure. My idea: Angela, who lives in Paris, comes to New York for work and makes plans to get dinner with Topanga while she's in town. Topanga mentions it to Cory, who immediately calls Shawn up and tells him, cajoling him in his Cory way to come and see her and see what, if any, sparks remain. Shawn's reticent, but eventually Cory gets him into the idea, and in a wacky shenanigan, Cory stalls Topanga from going to the dinner and Shawn's going to crash instead. Just as he approaches the table, Angela's phone rings and he overhears her talking on the phone with her husband and kids, and it's clear she's in a happy, stable, loving home. Shawn smiles, decides he's happy for her, and it gives him the closure he needs, and he slips out without her knowing he'd been there.

Good, huh? I think that's damn good. I should write a spec script. I'll find something for Maya and Riley to do too. 

Anyway, yeah, no Angela for Shawn. Not now, not ever. It was never going to be that easy for Shawn Hunter to find his 'the one', and I don't think he found her at 17.

CONTINUING ON!

Jesus, I'm still in the second scene. Oh well, I think I've already gotten out a lot of what I wanted to say anyway. Anyway, Copanga also tell Miley such an abridged version of the plot of "I Love You, Donna Karan" that there's no context to not make Shawn creepy, which is funny. And even better, Maya and Riley immediately cotton on to the fact that Shawn fell in love with a concept, not a person, and Shangela never had any hope, which is just an amazing conclusion for them both to have come to the moment they hear about her. Just to stick another fork in Shangela. Maya assumes Shawn left Angela because he couldn't commit, but he denies it. Althouuuuuuugh, to be fair, the storminess of Shawn and Angela's relationship does have its origins in Shawn's inability to commit to her once they started college. He led her on so much, she eventually had it, and that's why they broke up the first time and that stormy period dictated their relationship ever after. So... not so blameless, Hunter. Just saying. Still, Shawn and Maya bond over being "stayers" in a  world of "leavers." 

Riley sees all this, pulls Cory and Topanga in her room, and reveals her intention to magically turn Shawn, Katy, and Maya into a happy family. Then, they basically do the bake sale scene of "Bee True" again, recasting Eric with Riley, and changing "The Godfather" tone to more of an "Ocean's Eleven." It's... not as funny as in "Bee True". And it features what becomes a running gag of  freeze frames and text displays of nicknames and steps of the plan that happens throughout the episode - it's not nearly as funny as they think it is, and it happens far too often. Farkle and Lucas show up and become part of it too, Farkle because he's a computer genius even though in NO WAY does that become relevant in anything they do (It's like in the actual Oceans movies, where they keep using that Chinese trapeze guy, even though his specific skill was only relevant to the first heist, but because he was one of the 11, they want to include him, so they have him like... play businessmen and stuff for no reason, rather than bringing in a guy who can do that). Lucas as 'The Face'. Lucas is pretty funny in this one because he's deliberately portrayed as bland, pointless, eye candy that he is. I've got to imagine even the writers know Lucas is an abject failure. Also, the best part of this scene is Cory's delivery of the line "Shawn gave me mine when I was 25 years old. Your mother won't let me wear it."

Oh, also Farkle has this watch that tracks Riley and Maya's every movement, speaking to him in their own voices via Farkle having been recording everything they've ever said, and also forcing their voices to say stuff like "I love you, Farkle." Cory and Topanga chuckle at the revelation of this and warmly declare that they need him on their team, rather than kicking him out of their home, forbidding him to ever come near their family again, and calling the police which would be the right response. I really thought we were past the creepy stalker aspect of Farkle. They need to knock it off. It ruins him. 

Everyone reconvenes, and after some weirdness about exactly how much time has elapsed,  Cory and Topanga trick Shawn into going off to confront Katy (I'm skipping through this, but the scene of this taking place is fantastic), while the kids hog-tie Maya, who offers startling little resistance. This bit features my favorite line delivery from Lucas ever - him saying "Wanna see a rope trick?" He says it in this kind of sheepish/dumb way, where it's like he knows he's supposed to be distracting Maya somehow, doesn't really know how, and is like "Um...How about this?" It's cute. And it works! Scene's kinda dumb though.

So, Shawn shows up at the Nighthawk Diner, which I like so much more than the stupid bakery they own. Cory and Maya are already there spying when Shawn arrives (which shouldn't be possible, because Riley still had to do the whole tying up of Maya thing before she and Cory could leave, but maybe Shawn got lost?) Anyway, Shawn confronts Katy on everything with Maya, and at first they hate each other, but then they realize they have a lot in common, and Shawn realizes that a) Katy didn't forget Maya's birthday, she was just working a double shift to make extra money to afford Maya's present, which is a locket of her own, in a very nice callback to "Girl Meets Truth") and b) Katy lied to Maya about chasing their father away, so that Maya would still have some fond feelings about her father. I find 'b' a little unnecessary, since Katy being awful wouldn't have given him any sort of pass for also abandoning Maya, and it seemed like the dad was already portrayed as a schmuck before this episode. But whatever.

As for Shawn and Katy as a potential couple? Yeah. Chemistry. It's too neat and tidy an idea, and I don't see how Rider's going to be on this show often enough to be playing Maya's actual stepfather. And I think I'd rather his father figure-ness toward Maya remain honorary rather than official. But they do have chemistry and I'll let it play out more before I pass judgement. And, also, I like Katy. She's a good character. It's probably not a coincidence that her two episodes have been the two best.

Anyway, everyone comes back to the Matthews, Maya learns the truth, and clearly begins to be entertaining the idea of Katy and Shawn ending up together too. 

Episode Verdict: A solid 'A'. It's not perfect - the cheesiness with the "The Fixer!" "The Apprentice!" stuff, and everything with Farkle, but it's definitely the best episode of the series. 

Episode MVP: Oh man! That's hard! Almost everyone's deserving. Sabrina Carpenter and Rowan Blanchard were both great in this episode, and, though I didn't talk about it much, so was Danielle Fishel. But still, it's really down to Rider Strong, Ben Savage, and Cheryl Texiera. But since Ben was part of the lame part of the episode too, and Cheryl Texiera didn't even show up until the end, I'll give it to Rider Strong.

Episode Review: Girl Meets Game Night (#1.17)

Episode Title: "Girl Meets Game Night"
Episode Number: 17

Boy Meets World Episodes Borrowed From: Well, there are episodes, like Season 1's "Father/Son Game" and Season 4's "Wheels" that deal with the father feeling left behind by his children, it's more or less just become a recurring theme in Girl Meets World and doesn't feel inspired by BMW.
Cory's History Lesson and Relevance: The Revolutionary War, which is actually perhaps this show's best use of this. The parent/child analogy is, from my understanding, very much how the people at the time viewed the split. 

Episode Review: 

This really had all the makings of an excellent episode, a good plot, not much reliance on school, a focus on the family, and some legitimate humor. It's more or less a "bottle" episode, which is an episode of TV that revolves around the entire cast stuck together in one location for the entirety (though this does have some flashbacks to earlier that day at school) and those are historically great episodes of sitcoms (the 'ur' example is probably Seinfeld's "The Chinese Restaurant")

All of this is a point in its favor, and I'd probably consider it among the better GMW episodes, but it unfortunately is brought down in a major way by what has so far always been GMW's worst tendency - its need to overly explain its message and hammer down its moral to such an outrageous degree that everyone present stops behaving like an actual human being. This has been a problem a lot, starting with even the first episode, but for some reason (maybe because everything else in this episode is legitimately strong) it just feels on fire here.

It all starts strong enough. It's family Game Night, Cory's over-the-top excited, Riley invited friends, Cory feels like things are changing and Riley doesn't need him as much and gets insecure and neurotic. Exactly how you'd think it'd go, yes, but everyone's funny with it and it's good. I enjoy that it's not Maya's inclusion in Family Game Night that feels like an intrusion - Cory seems to have always been expecting Maya to be there and doesn't bat an eye at it, it's just Farkle and Lucas.

Speaking of Lucas, we avoided him for two episodes in a row but we all knew it couldn't last. Still, he's not a problem in this one, maybe because he doesn't have that much to do. But he has a running gag about not even wanting to be there and just wanting to go home that's maybe the most fun he's been. Meanwhile Cory makes fun of them both calling them Captain Howdy or Professor Turtle Neck (or something like that) and those nicknames kind of stick with Josh picking them up. There's also a funny bit with Lucas apparently calling his mother 'Mama' which... ha! But then Josh mentions he calls his mother "Ma" which seems weird, like they're trying to emphasize how New York-y he is, but.... it strikes me as unusual that Josh would actually regularly call Amy this when none of the rest of her kids did. This makes me generally curious, do any of you have siblings who call your parents something other than what you do? I'm not talking about, like, some angsty teenage sister who recently decided she's going to call your mom and dad "Diane" and "Stephen" now. But like, really a "Mama"/"Mom"/"Mother"/"Ma"/"Mommy" switcheroo? Just wondering.

Oh, yeah, Josh is there. He's better in this episode. Less aggressively snarky. Although there is a bit in the beginning with Cory having given him 100 dollars expecting change back to take Auggie out for a while and Josh spending all but a dollar of it. And Cory not even getting mad. C'mon Cory. Get mad. Like real mad, not goofy mad. Like that time you shoved your dad, get like that sometimes. Stand up for yourselves! Anyway, I was surprised to see Josh again so soon and was glad. He's funny in this one, and not as creepy with Maya - showing obvious discomfort with her crush and eventually telling her in no uncertain terms that he's too old.

It's weird to see Josh and Lucas standing next to each other though, because Josh is supposed to be too old for the Maya generation, but if anything he almost looks younger than Lucas. 

As Cory's hilarious anger and jealous continues, we begin to get flashbacks of earlier that day when Cory was teaching about the American Revolution and sadly our streak of classroom-less episodes gets broken just when I thought we were safe. Still, this was pretty well done. The flashbacks all focus on the presentation going on in class and not the side conversations about personal lives topics, Cory seems to have control of the class, the message and historical comparison in pretty on point, and there's a funny John Adams/John Quincy Adams bit.

Riley: It is I! John Quincy Adams!
Cory: Actually, Riley, you're playing John Adams.
Riley: Who's that?
Cory: John Adams was the father of John Quincy Adams.
Riley: My school is John Quincy Adams.
Cory: And my school was John Adams.
Riley: Your school was the father of my school?
Cory: Confusing, isn't it? I'm also going to be your teacher next year. Now, back to our story!

And that's how you do it, folks. Much like one of BMW's best jokes ("Hey, you got Feeny this year?" "Yeah, you?" "Yeah. Which classes?" "All of 'em." "Yeah, me too.") when the audience knows exactly how the show's going to work, even if it doesn't make sense, sometimes you're better off just pointing out how it doesn't make sense and just doing it, rather than trying to turn yourselves into a knot trying to justify it logically. BMW had one legitimate use of bringing Feeny over again as a teacher - making him the principal of John Adams in Season 2. Everything after stopped making sense, and they stopped justifying it, and that's the precedent so GMW isn't even going to start. 

Also, there's a funny bit where Topanga's obsessed with this one sound that gets played int he game and keeps reflexively shouting "I WIN!" even when she doesn't. I like when Topanga's crazy too. It also comes out when Topanga starts getting just as jealous and insecure as Cory does when Riley betrays her mid-game. Oh, And Ava comes which... whatever. I guess Auggie gets a friend there too. And I'm getting used to how evil and awful she is. 

So far, I've enjoyed all of this. If the episode stopped at the halfway or 2/3-way mark this would be getting like an A- or something. But then... then anvils start dropping and they start dropping hard and everyone starts talking in emotional punchlines and overexplaining the lessons they've learned. I'm going to transcribe one particularly heinous part.


Josh: And... as everyone joins together. We see... in the long game... friends become family.
Riley: It's not a game at all.
Auggie: What is it, Mommy?
Topanga: It's life.
Auggie: Life is the long game?
Cory: Yeah, bubba. Life is the long game.
Josh: Maya, you do understand I'm too old for you. [Yup, out of nowhere in front of everyone like that]
Maya: I do, Josh, I know that.
Josh: Good.
Maya: But I'm in it for the long game.
Riley: Yeah. (long beat) Me too.
(Everyone hugs)

It's just schamltzy, and barely makes sense. Everyone's speaking in platitudes that are supposed to have this great weight and significance and multiple meanings and the way you can tell is that they pause and look meaningful right before they say they're lines. The whole last scene is like this. No one's talking like a real person would ever talk. And it's just embarrassing and I hate it and makes me want to run from the TV. Boy Meets World was really never this bad. The whole last 5 minutes of this episode suddenly erupts into unwatchable and brings the entire episode down. It's a good message, but I wish they didn't need to treat us like idiots.

Episode Rating: B. Ultimately most of it was still actually very good, but the last bits were as bad as this show gets.
Episode MVP: Ben Savage. He was at his best for most of this one.

SHAWN'S BACK NEXT WEEK! That happened quick. I knew he was in one more episode, but I thought they'd space'm out more, and I also thought it was supposed to be the season finale. But I guess the season's almost over - only four episodes left, I believe?

A Word About Eric Matthews

Let's get one thing straight: I love Eric Matthews. He's my favorite character from Boy Meets World by leaps and bounds, one can not even see second place finisher Cory from Eric's lofty position. Indeed, Eric is probably one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. He's hilarious, touching, and just plain fun to watch at almost every interval. And the thought of more Eric was one of the first things that entered my mind when I heard about Girl Meets World in the first place.

But from everything I've heard or seen about the episode featuring his return, "Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels", I'd sort of rather it didn't happen. I'd take no Eric before I'd welcome that Eric.

My favorite seasons of Boy Meets World are the middle seasons - say, Seasons 3 through 5, with Season 4 representing, for me, the absolute pinnacle of the series. Cory, Shawn, Feeny, Topanga, Alan, it's everyone at their best, it's hilarious, and the cast hasn't been infused with weaker characters like Jack, Rachel, and Angela. And it's in that season that Eric truly shines. He's still hilarious and eccentric and off-kilter, but he's also... a person with struggles. A young man who'd grown up and slid through life doing the bare minimum, getting by with good looks, charms, wit, and the help of friends and family. Suddenly he was thrown into the real world and is forced to sink or swim - learning that no one's going to bail him out and all that 'hidden potential' he'd heard so much about doesn't mean dick if you don't do anything with it. And so, he was forced to pick himself up by his boot straps and make his life be what he wanted it to be. It was a tremendously written arc, made Eric a serious character, and yet... it diminished his hilarity not one bit. This was the season of The Good Lookin' Guy, the season of "Shallow Boy", the season of him wanting to join a cult for the hugs. Eric could be a real person and the show's biggest source of comedy.

And then, of course, well, we know what happened. All of Eric's humanity was stripped away in favor of being a complete and legitimate psychopath. No one like Eric of Season 7 could possibly exist, and if he did, everyone would hate him and have him committed. All serious and emotional arcs got shifted over to Shawn, and Eric was left with nothing. And "Plays With Squirrels" represents this totally. Is it funny? Absolutely. It was a funny way for Eric to have ended up in a FAKE future in ONE episode for ONE scene. Great stuff.

But all indications from the episode title and a recently released cast picture imply that this is the fate that Eric Matthews ACTUALLY ended up with. 150+ episodes of character development, of growing and struggling... and yeah, he's just a hermit who married a moose and hides lollipops in his beard. But nevermind that it's a waste of Eric's potential and hard work, nevermind that Eric only became a hermit because everyone stopped being friends and that future was kept from happening, nevermind that it was a fictional dream sequence anyway that was never meant to be taken as Eric's real fate, nevermind that the original series, for all its flaws, still sent him off into the world as a successful college graduate, moving to New York, free of some of his handicaps like always relying on his dad to bail him out. Nevermind all that.

The real reason for my rage is that I missed Eric. We all missed Eric. It's been Eric the fans of Boy Meets World have been clamoring to get back. We care about HIM, the guy we knew for, like, 70 hours worth of story, not the joke fantasy character he played once for 10 minutes at the end of the show. Should Cory have come back as Cora the sassy waitress? Should Shawn have come back as Strider, his Kid Gets Acquanted With the Universe counterpart? No. We missed Cory and Shawn. Yes, Plays With Squirrels was really funny. But it was funny in context. Not because suddenly that's how we all wanted Eric to be forever.

I had hopes that this show might redeem the travesty that Eric became, but if he really is playing Plays With Squirrels (and they're REALLY making it look like he is) then it's worse than I could have possibly imagined and I legitimately feel betrayed by Michael Jacobs, Will Friedle, and everyone involved. I can't imagine being able to stomach this show further. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding. Subterfuge to mask the real plot. I hope so. But I'm not feeling optimistic.

Impossibly Long Episode Review: "Girl Meets Home for the Holidays"

Episode Title: "Girl Meets Home For The Holidays"
Episode Number: 16
Boy Meets World Episodes Borrowed From: Huh. This is more or less original. I guess we do get to see some developments in threads begun in Season 6's "Cutting the Cord" (Alan as an older dad to Josh), Season 5's "A Very Topanga Christmas" (How will Topanga deal with Cory's family's traditions), and Season 7's "It's About Time" (Shawn's feelings about Cory moving on with Topanga)
Cory's History Lesson and Relevance: No class again! God bless us, everyone!

Episode Review: 

Well, folks, this is obviously a big episode so it's going to get the royal treatment. The more capsule-sized reviews will remain how things go, mostly, but for Special Episodes like this one, they'll get the MEGA reviews where I walk through it beat by beat. Saddle up.

It's Christmas (like with Halloween, the holiday episode is airing way early in the month) and the Matthews are getting ready. In quick succession, and some mildly funny bits, we learn that Amy, Alan, Maya, and Shawn are all spending Christmas with them and that Amy is expected to be an over-bearing mother-in-law (more on that later) and that Cory is, naturally, over the moon about Shawn's presence. In one bit, he proclaims that the "Cory-and-Shawn-4-evah" ornament will be placed on top of the "Cory and Topanga wedding ornament."

I'm going to pause here. Obviously, anyone with even a passing knowledge of the characters of Boy Meets World knows that Cory and Shawn are heterosexual life partners. They adore each other to a manic degree, sulk like jilted lovers when they're in a fight, and in general participate in activities (including snuggling, having casual conversations under the covers in bed, etc.) that would suggest romantic feelings where none actually exist. And we love it. We adore it. It's great stuff. Cory loves and needs Shawn just as much, if not more, than he needs Topanga, and none of us have a problem with that. And I like to see jokes about it. And some of the jokes in this one to that effect in this are funny.

What I like less though is something Boy Meets World only did occasionally, and this episode does a lot - portraying Cory as not just loving Shawn, but treating everyone else with callous and willful disdain because they are not Shawn. Cory didn't HAVE to cover up Topanga's ornament with Shawn and his, he could have put it elsewhere on the tree, but he made a big show of going like "Hey, fuck off Topanga, you're not as good as Shawn." Later on, he'll make a big show of pointing out how Shawn is his favorite person in the world and not Topanga. When he and Shawn embrace upon Shawn's arrival, he literally almost suffocates his son as a result. Topanga makes references throughout the episode about this bothering her and Cory ignores them. And less you think this is all just for laughs, the serious and main plot of this episode is how Riley feels ignored and ostracized by "Uncle" Shawn who is, legitimately, kind of a dick to her, and Cory is dismissive of Riley's feelings. That's not cute. It just makes Cory a piece of shit.

Okay. Back to the episode. Maya shows up, professing to believe Shawn doesn't even exist just to get Cory riled up, which is funny. Maya's great. And if you need further proof of Cory' dickness, Riley mentions to Maya upon her arrival that she doesn't think Shawn likes her, with Cory standing right there. Cory's response? Saying "Riley!" and then dropping the subject, rather than acting like her fucking father and letting her know that it's not that this beloved family friend doesn't like her, it's that he's a self-absorbed angsty tool who is incapable of controlling his emotions for long enough to be polite to a 13-year-old girl (but more on that later)

Buzzer goes off and Cory thinks it's Shawn, but it's Alan and Amy, Alan getting a funny bit about neither Cory nor Amy understanding that people can hear them when they're using a speaker box that only elicits weak laughter from the audience. Fuck all y'all, studio audience. So, okay, you guys - Alan Matthews rocks. Probably my all time favorite TV father. He's such a great character. He has tons of values and life advice and teaches great lessons like many TV fathers, but he also has dashes of realism and humanity that I think elevate him over a Cliff Huxtable (fallen idol though he now is) or a Danny Tanner or something. He messed up sometimes, struggled with feelings of inadequacy, was sometimes surly and unapproachable, showed accidental favoritism toward his eldest son that he tried to compensate for and adjust once it became clear. And occasionally rather than get all huggy and overly-supportive he gave his kids a (metaphorical) kick in the ass because his sons were both spoiled brats (who are nonetheless two of my favorite TV characters of all time, don't get me wrong) and deserved it. While no man's fool, he didn't have Feeny's intellect and so he lacked the ability to inspire as beautifully through clever lessons and florid speeches. But he showed up, and he worked hard, and he demonstrated what it means to stand up for yourself and those you love and do the right thing. He didn't always have much to do, and he had less and less to do as the show went on, but he always rocked. Amy? She's fine too. But they didn't give her the material they gave Alan.

So, they're in this episode. But they sort of might as well not be. In fact, if you want to see this show's attention to Shawn in lieu of the also present Amy and Alan as a metaphor of what became of Boy Meets World, then it's actually brilliant! I don't resent the show featuring Shawn way more than Amy and Alan. He's Shawn. He is more important than Amy and Alan and, as much as I love them, I obviously care more about Shawn. Still, maybe they could have split the Amy/Alan/Joshua episode with the Shawn episode, to give them both more time. Because Amy and Alan just feel like shadows of themselves, here only to facilitate the introduction of Joshua. Alan's only arc is, I guess, that he's aged from the last time we've seen him? Which... ouch. As for Amy... hey, remember how she was an overbearing has-to-have-everything-be-just-so control freak of a mom and mother-in-law? No? That doesn't sound like her at all? Well, it's how they portray her now. It's like the person who wrote Amy's dialogue never actually saw her in action and only knows that she's Topanga's mother-in-law. Again, Amy was not as well-developed a character as Alan (who, bad material aside, does basically feel like himself in this episode except he should be beating the shit out of Josh more) so maybe it's a by-product of that, but there's still things that do or do not sound like what she'd do. Still, it's nice to see them.

The audience oohs-and-ahhs with delight at the arrival of Joshua even though he's played by someone we've never seen before. I'm glad they didn't forget about him and I'm glad his age seems about right. I guess he would've been a pretty big thing to forget about, but, honestly, there was never any serious point to his existence, he just seemed like something for Amy and Alan to be up to after Cory left for college, so I tended to forget about him too. Cory, Alan, and Josh exposit what the deal is with Josh and why he's so much younger than Cory, and Josh seems to really enjoy (or else is covering his insecurity about) the fact he was an accident because he doesn't stop talking about it all episode and, like, teasing his dad about it which is a weird thing to tease someone about. He basically teases everyone all episode because he's supposed to be totally radical with '90s style 'tude. He's basically the kind of kid who would have been in an Apple Jacks or Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial in 1997 making fun of his lame parents or lame teachers for not getting why he loves this cereal. I'm surprised he didn't ride in on a skateboard. That's Josh.

And Maya's immediately smitten. Josh, for his part, kind of flirts with her a bit which is sketchy since Maya's 13 and he's at least 16 judging by the fact that he was just outside parking the car. Three years may not seem like a big gap, but I think it is when one of them's 13. Also, like, you're at a family Christmas party, dude, ease up. This is also the first time we've seen Maya be all 'boy crazy' and I'm not into it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually like her chemistry better with Lucas than Josh, since it feels more organic and not as calculated. I know I'm giving Josh a hard time, but he's not so bad. Regardless of what I said before, as an individual character I still like him better than Lucas. At least he's not bland, and the actor's better.

AND LOOK WHO IT IS NOW OH MY GOD IT'S SHAWN HUNTER. So, yeah, obviously, I'm very excited Shawn's in this episode. I love Shawn. I don't Eric-love him or even Cory-love him, and sometimes he got on my nerves, but I still love him, and it hasn't felt right him not being around yet, so it's very exciting. And, in general, Shawn's handled exactly right. When I first heard about this, I made up in my head where I thought the characters should all be, and Shawn's situation is EXACTLY how I envisioned it. I didn't think he should be married with kids, I didn't want his kid and Cory's kid to be best friends,  I didn't think he should be settled down at all, I certainly didn't want him back together with Angela (both because I don't much care for her but mainly because that would have been cheesy and lame). I thought Shawn should still be out there trying to find what he's looking for. And traveling photojournalist (his future occupation in "Seven The Hard Way") seemed perfect for him - combining the photography interest that came up in Seasons 5 and 6 and I believe was technically his one-timed-mentioned major, along with the writing interest that came up in the poetry episode, all while giving him a professional excuse for not putting down roots. And besides that, he does feel like Shawn - the good and the bad. The writing for him is pretty good, and, unlike Danielle Fishel and even occasionally Ben Savage, Rider Strong simply hasn't missed a beat. This is to be expected as he was always the strongest actor of the trio, and he's worked the most since Boy Meets World ended.

So, Shawn sneaks in and casually takes a seat on the couch, surprising Cory in a bit that I think would have been more effective if they'd let it go on a little longer and if Shawn's line of dialogue alerting Cory to his presence was just casually contributing to the conversation rather than "Thought you'd be more excited to see me!" and drawing attention to himself. But that's nitpicky. It's still fun. Shawn reunites with everyone too (and Josh's Coolness gets name-checked when Shawn tells him he's almost as cool as him thereby telling the audience 'See? Shawn thinks Josh is cool! So, he's cool! Like him!')

Then it's time for Riley and Shawn to say hi. There's tension, but Riley gamely greets him politely and Shawn basically cold shoulders her and goes off with Cory. And that simply is not cool. She's a little girl. Shawn's a grown-ass man. I get why he's acting this way, and I don't blame him for feeling weirded out by how much Cory and he don't have in common anymore and how Riley could represent that for him. But I also don't care. You're not rude and dismissive to a little girl, let alone your best friend's daughter. It bugs me that Shawn would be so self-centered that he'd feel justified to act like that, and it bothers me even more that Cory more or less lets him get away with it. It doesn't ruin the episode or anything, but it certainly casts a pall over it. It's not that the show doesn't treat Shawn's actions as rude, they do, it clearly hurts Riley's feeling and Maya is outraged on her behalf.

So, Cory and Shawn catch up and it's fun and there's a lot of meta stuff - Cory wants Shawn to move into the apartment right above them but Shawn protests this is not a TV show (Missed opportunity, Cory could have responded to Shawn's declaration with: "Trust me, it's the same thing.") and that he's not Cory's wacky neighbor, addressing the kinds of ideas fans seemed to have for Shawn in this show. Cory, on the other hand, lays out what would have been his (and probably the fans') preferred spinoff scenario: a show that's just about Cory and Shawn going on adventures in New York. He and Shawn then improvise a hilarious theme song for such a show, and it's all great. I particularly like the "and nobody talks but them" portion which also draws attention to how no one but main cast members and featured guest stars ever have lines on this show.

Then, like, the rest of the episode is the show telling us over and over about Riley-and-Maya are the new Cory-and-Shawn and they really beat us over the head with it and I'm having flashbacks to the "It's not my world! It's your world!" crap from the pilot which was bad. We figured out Riley and Maya were the new Cory and Shawn on our own, we didn't need it explained to us. And we don't need it explained to it this often with Shawn and Maya continuously saying the same things as each other or finding out that they have the same interests as each other or the same backstory as each other. C'mon, trust your audience a little bit. There's still some funny bits (Cory trying to make them be able to reach each other's minds and Shawn's insistence that they actually can not do that) but it's too much of this. Better is when Maya calls Shawn out for making Riley feel bad, she's a badass like that. However, in a very TV way, we go to commercial right when that comes out and then we come back to a different scene and it gets resolved later which means Maya said that to Shawn (in front of Cory) and then Shawn and Cory really just let her and Riley walk away without immediately reassuring the poor girl that Shawn doesn't dislike her.

Oh god. And now Josh is hanging ornaments off a sleeping Alan while making fun of him for being tired and old because he's an obnoxious little brat. Auggie's helping, but it really would have been better if it was just Auggie doing it. Because it's the kind of thing that's funny for a mischievous little boy do but is fucking ridiculous for a god-damn 16-year-old to be doing. It doesn't make him look roguish, it makes him look like a tool.  And I hate how de-fanged Alan has to be in order to let Josh get away with acting like that. Can you imagine if Eric or Cory pulled shit like that? In, I think, "Uncle Daddy" Cory got grounded for forgetting to get gas. Alan was worried that when Josh came of age, he was going to be too old to be the kind of father he used to be with him and, you know what, it kind of looks like that's exactly what happened. And that's sad. He's like 60, not 100.

Cory and Shawn, have adorably, also fallen asleep and are doing their yipping thing from... I don't know... the one where they fall asleep together in Turner's class and do the yipping thing. I love it. But then Maya wakes them up and demands answers about Riley. So again, Maya called Shawn out, Shawn and Cory offered no response and instead went to a different room to take a nap. Again, though, Shawn doesn't really properly explain himself so Riley continues to feel bad. All that's offered is that when Riley lists the litany of things Shawn's never bothered to find about her, one of which is her birthday, Cory points out that Shawn does know her birthday. This gets hammered in a few times and is treated like it means something, like how it turned out Feeny knew all this crap about Shawn that he never would have guessed Feeny knew in "City Slackers." Sounds nice right?

Well, it's not. As we'll find out, Shawn does know Riley's birthday, but it's not because he secretly knows Riley well or loves learning about her. He knows it because it was also a significant day for him because that's the day he decided to be a fucking baby and leave town to go sulk for a decade because Cory and Topanga's lives won't revolve around him anymore. And he acts all proud of himself for knowing the time of day and her weight, when Maya doesn't, like 'Congrats, Shawn. You were there and Maya was barely alive.' And it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't know the answers to any of the other questions Riley asked that are more relevant to who she is than her being a Sagittarius. Fuck off, Hunter.

"Don't worry about it, kids. That's just the only way Shawn knows how to leave rooms."

At dinner, we learn about Shawn's job, and Shawn and Maya seem to begin starting to respect each other and realize how alike they are. Riley demands an answer for a third time, and Shawn and Riley thankfully go off and talk. For a second, though, Shawn gets up from the table after being called out and it seems like, in classic Shawn form, he's leaving the room in an angsty huff and I'm furious for a second, but then he calls for Riley. But it's treated like a surprise like "Can you believe it? Shawn's NOT leaving a room in a huff! Isn't that a twist?"

Anyway, at the stupid bakery I wish Topanga didn't own, Shawn explains to Maya and Riley what his

fucking problem is and it's a stupid problem. Again, I don't blame Shawn for how he feels, I think how he feels is perfectly understandable. Shawn needs Cory even more than Cory needs Shawn, and Riley's the physical manifestation of why they can't be as close as they used to be. But I do blame him for not being able to get a grip on these feelings and not making Riley (or ANYONE) feel bad about it. It's total crap and it's probably the most selfish we've ever seen him. Still, he seems to realize how stupid he's been being, and starts to realize that a child of Cory and Topanga is just another person for him to love.

Cory and Shawn, on Riley's command, have a sit down to talk about how they feel, and it's the best scene in the episode so I'm not going to parse it. The chemistry is really nice, the characters bounce off each other well, it's funny and it's heartwarming and it's great. It's interrupted twice, once by Josh and Auggie - Josh refers to them as Two Grown Men In A Girl's Bedroom Window, which is the funniest thing he does, but then he sings a theme song for that theoretical show which is going to that well once too often (Though Auggie does follow it with a hilariously delivered "I would never watch that show.") Shawn points to Josh and mentions how "The cool uncle's already taken."

So. Just the one uncle then, huh? No other uncles we should be mentioning? Nobody conspicuously absent from his family reunion and not even rating a mention by his brother or his parents or anyone? Okay then. Moving along.

Then Farkle comes and Shawn's reaction to him is hilarious, although I really don't think Farkle and the O.G. Minkus look that much alike. Physically I guess they kind of sort of do - scrawny, bowl haircut - but they just dress and comport themselves so differently. Farkle's fucking Justin Bieber compared to Minkus.

Anyway, it turns out Riley has a secret plan to get Shawn and Maya to be the new Cory and Riley which is sweet and a nice turn on the "____ is the new _____"

Then there's a totally too sappy and un-earned scene where Cory professes his love Topanga and waxes poetic about their life together. It just seems to come out of nowhere, there's no reason for it. Is this him making up for how callous he was being towards her with regards to Shawn? If so, it's not made clear enough, and it feels weird. This show really struggles when things get serious, they can't get the tone right. There's a similar problem when Cory says "I had you at your best" to Alan, and then Josh pops up to be like "No, I have him at his best!" Again, I guess he's trying to make up for being a dick and "Aw, they really do love each other." but it just feels off. However, I will give William Russ credit for his reaction to it. It's exactly how Alan used to react whenever one of his sons said something really poignant or touching to him - a combination of surprise that his kid is saying this to him, slight embarrassment at the display of emotion, and genuine delight that feels really real and touching and 'Dad'-ish.

At the end, Shawn tells him that his next gig is in upstate New York next weekend and he invites Cory and family to come with. Shawn seems to be resolving to be around more, and to take an interest in Riley and Maya, which is good, so now I don't have to be mad at Shawn anymore. And thankfully this doesn't seem to be idle talk - while this season's almost over we do have one more Shawn appearance, and it sounds like he's going to be an even bigger part of Season 2 - with Eric returning too (that topic's going to get its own post tomorrow), as well a real Feeny appearance, and more of the parents. This makes me happy, and  iscloser to what I think Girl Meets World needs to be.  It needs to stand on its own, and I know the non-Cory-and-Topanga originals can't be in every episode, or even most of them, but we do need a little more than we've been getting
and Harley and Minkus, I'm sorry, didn't quite cut it. To not focus on the Boy Meets World characters is to defeat the purpose of making this a sequel to it in the first place.

As for this episode? I was rough on it, but it was ultimately good. It's not the best episode of the series (that's still "Girl Meets Maya's Mother") but it was the episode that made me happiest. Plus, two weeks in a row with no awful school scenes, no Cory The Shitty Teacher, only minimal Farkle, and no Lucas whatsoever? It really is Christmas!

Episode Rating: B+
Episode MVP: Rider Strong, of course.