Steak and Shake is really good.
That's all I had ready. Have to ad lib from here.
Well for one thing ,"Previews and coming attractions" screams "Future" almost as loud as "I was right" screams "ha ha I was totally right." Past, Present, Future. I was also totally right about Maya and Lucas having nothing to talk about, but nobody here with the name "Christian" was willing to listen to me.
Cory is incredibly annoying. This episode holds the record for "Making The Same Joke The Most Times Ever." Is it supposed to be endearing that he has completely forgotten his romantic nonsense at this age? Am I supposed to think "ha ha ha he is a hypocrite"? Because I've definitely got half of that.
Arite it's Monday now and I still don't know what to write so I have to watch the episode again. Starting from the beginning, I'm ready to give words and form to one of my chief complaints. Every line out of Riley's mouth is poisoned with this demeanor of "I am just so wise and self sacrifcing." Let me be absolutely crystal ocean clear right now. Riley is not a martyr.
Riley. IS NOT. A martyr.
You can't be a martyr unless you actually believe in what you're sacrificing yourself for. But as everyone has been so keen on pointing out, Riley knows she's talking out of her ass in this episode and in part 2. She is sacrificing herself purely because she thinks you're supposed to sacrifice yourself for your friends. That's not brave, it's childish. She doesn't want to, she just thinks you're supposed to. And don't get me wrong, there is absolutely a story to be told with that angle. But that's not the story we're being told here. The tone of this episode is that Riley is being brave and gallant, and that's also what 99% of the comments are saying. I 100% disagree with that assessment. If she were actually brave, she'd fucking sit down and fucking talk to Lucas about what he wants. Just once in two seasons she could ask him what he actually wants. But no, she has decided for him. She tops it all off with a pity rebound date with Charlie. Poor Charlie. Riley is making every wrong decision in this episode. And like I always say, I love wrong decisions, I would be happy to see that story. But the episode wants me to believe that Riley is making the right decisions. Everything is so backwards. "But it's a gray area!" you say. But it's not. The right decision is to TALK TO LUCAS (IN PRIVATE, RILEY, FOR GOD'S SAKE), find out what he wants, and move from there.
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| Pictured: Condescending to your best friend. |
90% of the comments seem to boil down to "Rowan did a great job with it, A+," so that's worth addressing. I'm not overly concerned with the acting on this show. I had four badges on Boy Meets World Reviewed and none of them was for acting. I am infinitely more interested in the actual content. So while Rowan may have had great delivery, it's negligible compared to the fact that everything she said made me angry.
Let's take a brief break from complaining to say that I still enjoyed Zay. He's looking more like the troublemaking "WILD CARD, BITCHES" that I think we all want him to be.
I thoroughly enjoyed his outside-looking-in commentary with Farkle, but even so Zay was cripplingly underutilized in this epsiode. I'm stealing from a genius Anon commenter here. The most important thing missing from the Meets Texas series is finding out how Lucas feels. EVEN IF HE'S NOT SURE, I would want to hear him say "I'm not sure how I feel about the two of them or if I like one more than the other." And who better to pry that information loose than his best buddy Zay? A one-on-one heart to heart between Zay and Lucas would have SAVED this episode. Their friendship is overdue for a little exploration, and Zay has never been a stronger character than in these past couple episodes, IT WOULD BE PERFECT. So yes. Thank you for your glorious contribution Anon. This idea and Riley becoming the school's mascot are currently tied for Most Genius Comment Of The Season.
I guess it's time to meet the Headsman, Charlie. Let's just get this over with.
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| Is there any "online tutoring" for NOT BEING A TOOL |
I can't believe they did it again. They dropped a bomb right before a break ("Are you free?" followed by the theme song, in this case) and then DIDN'T SHOW US HOW IT WAS RESOLVED. I WANNA KNOW WHAT RILEY'S ANSWER WAS. And did Charlie simply walk away without saying anything after she answered? YOU CAN'T DO THAT, GIRL MEETS WORLD. DAMN IT.
Charlie was awesome in Semi Formal. Here he's just... pathetic... and desperate... No talking on their date? You don't have to put up with this shit Charlie! Walk away! What conversation did Riley and Charlie have between Semi Formal and Meets Texas that turned him into this? And at the end, after Farkle confronts Riley about being a total jerk to her friends, HE TELLS HER TO GO ON THE DATE. NO FARKLE. You tell Riley to CUT THIS POOR GUY LOOSE. Then Charlie walks out to see Riley literally crying and asks her if she's ready. Come on man. Even Smackle could pick up on those social cues. All Charlie needed to do to regain my respect was cancel the date when he saw her crying. What the fuck.
This is getting long, I'm gonna let Christian take over for a little bit.
I did NOT like this episode. When I saw it yesterday I was filled with unbridled rage, but a day's gone by, and I'm in a good place right now, so I don't think I can summon the same degree of righteous verbosity with which I believe I'm identified.
This entire episode felt like fanfiction. Like the show was hijacked with one person with a specific agenda who bent and twisted every canonical event, every bit of characterization, every relationship to fit their own specific needs. Sure, Sean, it turned out Lucas and Maya had nothing to talk about. Because the writers decided they had nothing to talk about. These two have an easy, banter-y way about them in every other episode, but suddenly they literally can't think of anything to say to one another. Why? Because the writers say so.
Meanwhile, when Riley and Lucas went on a date and the same shit happened, that's swept under the rug as only being because they were nervous, invalidating the resolution to "Girl Meets the New World" where they decided it made more sense for them to be friends. Also invalidated? "Girl Meets Yearbook" and "Girl Meets Semi-Formal." Whereas Maya's revelations were treated in those episode as real revelations that gave these relationships stakes and complexity, nope, she was wrong. She was just wrong about that. They're not like brother and sister. Nevermind.
Also invalidated, everything about Charlie Gardner. Though he was a romantic, decisive-yet-polite charmer in his first episode, suddenly he's cloying and desperate, clearly fully aware that Riley isn't interested and willing to content himself with whatever scraps he can get. Because heaven forbid the show actually make Riley and Lucas a compelling couple, let's just make Riley's other option a total tool so Lucas can win by default.
All of this would make sense if it was fanfiction. Some Riley/Lucas fan doesn't like how the show's been going, so she decides to write a fanfic where it turns out Lucas and Maya don't work as a couple, it turns out Charlie sucks, and it turns out Riley DOESN'T see Lucas like a brother after all. It would be awful, but I'd get it. But it's a real episode of the show, which confuses me, because they're invalidating their own fucking stuff. No one foisted the established personality of Charlie and the established relationships between these characters on the writers against their will. And no one foisted the plot of the previous episodes (especially this season) that have clearly indicated a budding attraction building between Lucas and Maya on them either. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO CAME UP WITH THAT. Why do all of that if it's just leading to "Nope, they're not into each other. Nope, Charlie sucks. Nope, Riley doesn't think of Lucas as a brother."
It really seems like this episode is just setting up a return to the relationship status quo of Season 1. So, why the fuck did we just watch 20 episodes of Season 2? I mean, thanks for Eric and everything, but I was kind of hoping the girls' stories also mattered.
Also, like, you can't trick us into liking a couple we don't like. Sabrina and Peyton have a lot of chemistry. Rowan and Peyton don't really. So telling us "Yeah, but Maya and Lucas would have nothing to talk about! and Riley and Lucas have so much to talk about!" isn't going to make us... change our mind on that. If Maya and Lucas have nothing to talk about, it's because you gave them nothing to talk about. You purposefully had them sit there, not talking. I don't believe they'd have nothing to talk about. And you just did that with Lucas and Riley. Can a couple not work out for any other reason? Is having nothing to say to Lucas just the default for any girl going on a first date with him? As I said earlier, Maya and Lucas' chemistry and banter is too effortless for me to be able to buy that, even thrust into the awkwardness of the first date, it would be this painfully quiet. It just doesn't make sense for them. I can buy Riley and Charlie because they don't know each other (although it doesn't seem like Riley and Charlie actually can't talk, it just seems like Riley assigned them that rule) but Maya and Lucas? Why? Why? Why have them flirt for this whole show if it was for no reason? I don't get it.
Yeah, fuck Cory. I don't even know what to say about that. Cory was a total joke. God, all of this was a joke. It was all just such trite, pedantic melodrama. It was a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. We were told ad nauseum that this was DRAMATIC and IMPORTANT and the STAKES WERE HUGE and OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A SITUATION WE'RE IN, but it didn't feel like it was. Riley sucked, Lucas sucked, Maya sucked, Cory sucked, Topanga sucked, everyone sucked. This episode is just awful and almost mean-spirited. Yeah, I guess Rowan did a good job, but like... that doesn't save an episode for me. Like Sean, I'm not overly impressed when the actors do a good job. They're actors. That's their profession. They're supposed to do a good job. If I'm really impressed by something, okay, that's worth some consideration, but I suppose, here, I was not.
I guess I'm done for now. This episode wasn't, like, an unmitigated 'F' disaster like "Fish" or "World of Terror: 2" It had characters and story and wasn't, just, inexplicable nonsense. But it was realllll bad.
Episode Rating: D+
Episode MVP: Amir Mitchell-Townes. Credit where credit's due for the good job he's done in this trilogy.
We both managed to write our first segments without using the word "Auggie." The most debilitating cringefest I have seen in all my days, it was like an episode of Full House in there, like Michelle trying to lecture an adult or something. I'M HER BROTHER. YOU'RE BLAH BLAH. I was ready to light myself on fire.
You're totally right, this episode is just "Oops! Guess Maya was wrong and everyone was wrong! Oops! Shucks." I think this is the giant red flag for me, is that I walked away from this episode knowing nothing. I don't know anything about how anybody feels. After a three part climax-of-the-season, I KNOW NOTHING. I am MORE CONFUSED. I like the characters LESS. Yes, middle school emotions are inherently confusing, but that's your setup! You go to Texas to figure out that stuff, not to make it worse.
That's my final word. We learned nothing.
Grade: C
MVP: Amir
Yeah, Auggie was awful. Also, they tried to really make some sort of weird "But how can Lucas be like her brother. I've seen how she looks at Auggie and how she looks at Lucas. It's different!" Yeah, no shit. Brilliant discovery, Farkle. Because Auggie's a six-year-old boy and her actual biological brother. I have an actual sister, and I have female friends whom I consider to be like sisters to me. Yeah, it's not exactly the same. Hell, some of those "sister" friends are people I once briefly dated and am still attracted to. But you know what I fucking mean if I say one of them is like my sister.
I agree, it's weird that it was left so unresolved. I felt sure it was just going to end with Riley and Lucas deciding they liked each other after all, Maya feeling okay with it, and Charlie being erased from existence. But instead they, like, didn't pull the trigger on anything. Bad episode. I find your 'C' extremely generous.
It's so ridiculous. She doesn't think Lucas is literally her biological brother. Ugh.
I wanted to give a D+ but I didn't want to agree with you again. People would start to talk. What's even more disappointing is that the next few episodes are apparently before Texas in continuity, which is to say that we won't hear about any of this stuff for a while. I swear, if none of this is decisively resolved in Meets Graduation, I will throw a hissy fit. I am not on board to ride this Lucas relationship train for another season. There is a lot more to Meet in the World than Lucas Friar.
