Episode Review: "Girl Meets Sweet Sixteen" (#3.20)

Well I was supposed to go on a date tonight but that is CLEARLY not happening, so I'll just review some Girl Meets World instead. Same thing, right? 

I actually do have something interesting to say that I would have liked to know way back when I started BMWR. An interview with Rider Strong was posted in the comments, and he talked about directing for this kind of show. With a multicamera show, you can't really direct the way you would a movie or single camera, you don't get to put your signature or your style into it. He went on to say you wouldn't be able to identify an episode of a multicamera show as "Hey xxxxx directed this, that's classic xxxx right there." And so what it really boils down to, according to Rider, is the performances. You're in charge of getting the actors to put the right energy and tone and presence in each scene, and that's really the main part of directing a show like this. I thought that was interesting. 

Anyway I say that in preparation for the fact that Danielle Fishel directed this one, and the script was written by Jacobs himself.

Maya and Riley have agreed to throw a surprise sweet sixteen party solely on the basis of triple alliteration, which is honestly not a bad reason as far as these things go. That was a cute scene. I don't really have any thoughts. It was just cute.

Cory is teaching a lesson that has nothing to do with history, but provides a gateway for each character to remind us what their shtick is. And I'm pretty sure Smackle thinks the step after "meet your friends" is GET LAID AS FUCK.

Have the landmarks of your life prepared you for what's to come next? That's Cory's big question at the end of the lecture. Their assignment is to tell Cory what's going to happen next because, as we all know, history is in the future.

"The day I met Riley and Maya and Smackle and Lucas and Zay"? What? Did they really try to imply Farkle met them all the same day? We absolutely know that's not the case. We saw Farkle meet two of those people.

Also, Cory's assignment is dumb and makes no sense and is given in that vague nonspeak that's supposed to sound like its heavy and means stuff but doesn't that he always uses.

I don't know you guys, we're six minutes in and this episode feels like nothing so far.

We shoehorn in the fucking Smackle/Lucas crap, which is basically proof that Jacobs himself is behind that nonsense. Ugh, Farkle, break up with her already. Lucas and Riley don't freak out about the relative uncertainty of their relationship, which is very refreshing. I was SO sure that after Lucas said "You and I still together?" Riley was going to be like "We're together?" I was disappointed. Very level headed for teenagers. Long Walk to Pittsburgh was around this age, so this makes me confident in the claim that it would have unfolded differently with Riley and Lucas. Hell, ALWtP was after this. Topanga had had an actual Sweet Sixteen.

The Farkle/Smackle stuff here at the bakery is unbearable for me. They've been together how long and seeing Lucas and Riley hold hands sends Smackle into this frenzy? Has she never seen this before? That wouldn't even surprise me. What really sucks is that I was just yesterday trying to convince Christian he was underrating Smackle as a character. This is not helping my position at all. See? Told you. Smackle sucks. Cecelia Balagot is great, but the character sucks. I did like that Farkle is at least starting to take the issue of Smackle having feelings for Lucas seriously. At least Zay is consistently funny. Eh. I feel like they're trying a little hard with him in this episode. I didn't find him that funny in this one.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good. See, yeah, this I didn't like. Didn't like any of that bit.

Great. I was hoping Riley and Maya could question the longevity of their friendship one last time before it was all over. That's a lie. I thought we were done with this. How can we learn so much

EVERY WEEK

AND STILL BE SO STUPID

Zay is stuck wondering what the hell is going on like the rest of us. Oh Zay. What would I do without you.

We have to watch Farkle and Lucas talk about some nonsense real quick. Yes, people are evolving, and Maya remembers all that stuff from Girl Meets Father about Darwin. I honestly want to feel good about it, I really do. Our heroes remembering something Feeny taught them in Boy Meets World would probably bring me to tears, but this doesn't have the same effect. Girl Meets Father was just so poor. It's impossible to have a meaningful response to this, but I nevertheless appreciate the continuity.

God, this episode and this scene are NOT good. Michael Jacobs really isn't one of the best writers of this show. He's so unbelievably heavy-handed. I think BMW, where he wasn't really writing scripts, was the better way to do things. 

Oh he's the best teacher, oh he's so great, blah blah blah Cory Cory Matthews. 

Well he's not the worst, I guess. He's better than that guidance counselor who confused Shawn into wanting to go to Europe on a bus. Or the science teacher who only cared if the team won the game. But I don't even know if he's a better teacher than when Eric taught that citizenship class.

Looks like Cory has stopped evolving though, which is BY GUM the most interesting thing that's happened on this show. Let's go Cory Cory Matthews, I want you to grow as a character one last time, I'm begging you. That's all I ever wanted. Are you basing that on the socks things or what are you basing that on? I'm not sure they meant to imply that. Although, I mean, sure. Cory stopped evolving at age 17 or 18.

Auggie, I don't care. Is his hair a "Cory's Alternative Friends" reference?

"Life knows we're forever, doesn't it?" Shut up, Riley. That's like straight out of the pilot. Jacobs you're better than this. 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good. It's time for a reckoning between Lucas Friar and Isadora Smackle. If I make it through this scene without cringe-pausing the video, I will never eat Wendy's again. I had to stop before either of them even said anything. Also, I'm not 100% sure I've ever been Wendy's. And, like, we have them up here, it's not that. I just can't think of a circumstance where I would have gone. I was a McDonald's kid.

Tch, so close. 

So the idea is that Smackle says all that stuff as some kind of defense mechanism, so she can appear unhurt if it turns out Farkle doesn't really care that much about her. It's... you know, logically consistent, but who cares? We have no idea what the -kle relationship is like. I daresay we're not invested at all. I guess I buy it, but it's the kind of revelation that feels like all their character revelations about why people were really doing stuff. It sounds made up. It sounds like they realized Smackle was acting in a way people didn't like, and so they pulled an explanation out of their ass for why she did it to get themselves off the hook. It's less egregious than them undoing the whole love triangle by pretending Maya didn't really like Lucas and also had been pretending to be Riley, but it's still lazy and consistently one of the worst things about this show.

I was so flummoxed by the screeching and adulation that Farkle revealing himself from behind the counter caused. I expected her to be pissed at this, like, sting. Seriously, this was a guy having his best friend try to hook up with his girlfriend while he watched to see if she'd go for it. That's... god, this show's the worst. 

Everyone seems content with the natural drifting away after high school except for, you guessed it, your favorite character:

"Why do people become friends if it's not going to be forever?"

Because people change people you dumb idiot, have you been paying attention at all? God. Is this really the way you wanna go out, Mike? This is it? And this isn't Cory's endearing fear of change, there's nothing relatable here, it's just controlling. AND her friends' response is to obey. Somebody needs to smack some sense into Riley right now, this is ridiculous. You think Shawn would sit by and listen to this crap? Not for a second. 

What's really lame about this is that it's an attempt to do the "Things Change" drama without... actually being in that circumstance. It makes sense Cory would have this crisis because he was due to graduate in days, and his girlfriend was literally about to leave, and his best friend was literally not going to college, and his restaurant actually closed. Riley's flipping out about theoretical possible changes in three years, which is stupid. I'm sorry the show got cancelled before you could get to latter high school stories, but it did, so you don't get to do that story.

This is one of those times where I hate the medium. We are in a tense as fuck situation, Riley is losing her mind, but it just cuts to commercial and we come back in a completely different situation. What happened! How did that situation resolve? Somebody just had to go to the bathroom and then it was over? We'll never know.

I'm sorry, this is the penultimate episode of this series, but it's so stupid. Is it just a vehicle for Jacobs to tell us what happens later since he knows the show won't get there? Are we treating these presentations in class as canon? For the sake of any respect I have for Michael Jacobs that must be what this is. This is further reinforced by the audience cheering so loud after the Smarkle presentation, that this is a sort of ending to things. 

Okay I'm guessing Smarkle don't actually cure the common cold, but apparently they'll still be dating and they're both going to Princeton. 

Lucas and Zay apparently have a reversing of roles as time goes on, which would be INCREDIBLY interesting to flesh out, and I'm honestly pained that we don't get to see that. "When did things start going bad?" "Oh the Triangle took all the life out of you." That is some poignant commentary. These poor characters. That's a great very self-aware line. I'm glad Jacobs was able to make it. 

Riley and Maya summarize some of the themes of the show without really talking about being juniors. Great job giving a presentation that had nothing to do with the assignment.

Yeah you invented that shit didn't you Cory.

Auggie's haircut is a lot more jarring than the fact that Topanga's been assigned to the London branch of her law firm as a partner.  I coulda sworn it was already established that Topanga was a partner at her firm. 

"I thought life loves us." GOD, how can these characters still talk like that? NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT. I don't think anything makes me hate this show as much as that kind of RIDICULOUS dialogue. Is this the MOST critical difference between the two series? Cory and Shawn and Eric always knew that life is a bastard who does bastard things to you. Seriously, Riley. Get a helmet. But this show is all WE'RE KINGS, THE WORLD, LIFE LOVES US, THE UNIVERSE BLAH. I hate it, I honestly hate it. 

You know, if only Topanga had some experience with being a high school girl and her parents moving her away, separating her from her friends and her life, in order to give her some context. C'mon, is anyone buying Topanga taking this job? She's portrayed as a wildly successful lawyer who could easily get a different job at a different firm somewhere else. She knows how entrenched Cory is at his new job, and Riley is at school. She went through this EXACT situation with her folks (except, her parents were taking her to a different town in the same state, not a different continent) and thought it was wrong. And she'd do the same thing? When she really doesn't have to? I don't buy it. So, this feels like a nonsense problem that will be corrected.

Anyway...

Episode Rating: C- (Nothing was too outrageous, but this whole episode seemed like a nostalgic trip through everything wrong with this show)
Episode MVP: Rowan Blanchard, I guess, but, like, whatever. 

Series Finale Predictions

Here is where we'll make series finale predictions. Here are mine!:

• I really don't know what the "Goodbye" will be. MAYBE Lucas will move back to Texas? It feels like someone has to leave, and I don't know who else it could be. The Matthews and the Hunters don't make sense to be leaving, Farkle's not a big enough deal. I think it's got to be Lucas. It's also possible the name won't mean anything, and it's just "Goodbye" in that it's the last episode.
• Katy will be revealed to be pregnant. Possibly the reason everyone's present is for some sort of baby shower.
• Topanga may ALSO be pregnant, as this would better justify people like the Matthews coming to a baby shower. This would give them a "Shawn and Cory are going to have two children who will be the same age and be best friends!" bit I suspect they won't be able to avoid. 
• Eric will announce his candidacy for President in 2020. That'll be mainly what his role is. He'll say he's running for President, and Alan, Amy, and Feeny will be like "Oh god!"
• The Morgans will only have enough lines to make a joke about two Morgans. It'll be something like Morgan shows up with a friend in tow, also named Morgan, and they're like "You're both Morgans? That's confusing!" BIG WINK TO THE AUDIENCE! Morgan Matthews will be Lindsay Ridgeway though, Lily Nicksay will be the friend. I base this on Lily not being blonde in the photo.
• We'll get only the most token explanation of what Morgan's been up to. Possibly that she's a singer, possibly that she lives on the west coast to justify her lack of appearance.
• Shawn and Katy (and MAYBE Eric and/or Josh) are the only non-main cast members in this picture who will appear in more than one big group scene near the end. Most of the rest will just get a token final moment.
• Turner's moment will be with Shawn; Feeny's will be with Eric; Minkus' will be Farkle; Alan, Amy, and Harley's will be with Cory.

Hey, I've avoided reading Christian's thoughts here, and I'm gonna abstain from writing anything or reading the comments on this one. Odds are someone here will have made a correct prediction, and I'd rather be completely surprised when I watch it. 

Sean Revisits: Girl Meets Popular (#1.06)

Hi all. Through the quips and quirks of conversation, Christian and I ended up talking about Jeff Menell (The Eskimo, ATTW Shawn, among others) and his relatively poor track record on Girl Meets World. I couldn't really remember what Meets Popular (his first script on GMW) was about, and the Wikipedia description sounds great, while Christian gave it a C+ (which was before I started here). I'm using too many parentheses. In fairness, it was his first review here, and God help me if someone held me accountable for any of my early work. 

I watched Meets Popular just now, and I actually enjoyed it. I was eating a sandwich with just the right amount of dijon mustard at the time, so maybe I got some signals crossed, but let's go through the episode anyway. Let's travel back in time.

Take your pick.

But don't pick the second one.

What's interesting right away is the dynamic between Maya and Riley. Maybe it's because the Jack post is fresh in my mind, but this feels a lot more like Eric and Jack than Cory and Shawn. Riley mostly speaks in flowery nonsense while Maya dismisses it, though fortunately with more snark than Jack ever had. 

The girls are convinced that Maya will be invited to this cool looking guy's party and Riley won't. So much so that Riley stonefacedly pushes her invitation back toward Maya because surely he's made a mistake.

 I laughed out loud here. Almost all of Riley's jokes in season one involve being loud and flailing and making goofy faces. She never gets this kind of humor and it's really well done. Probably the hardest part of watching this episode is Rowan's unpolished acting, but she nailed this bit.

Maya doesn't get invited though, harkening back The Uninvited, but there's a cool difference between this and that, which we'll get to in a bit. Cory claims he didn't get invited to a lot of 7th grade parties, but he has a weird look on his face like he's remembering all the 7th grade parties he went to. He went to plenty, a makeout party in Fear Strikes Out and a couples party in Breaking Up Is Really Really Hard To Do. I think that face is telling us he's just humoring Riley.

In fact, if he thinks it's going to be anything like that party in Fear Strikes Out, I can't blame him for telling Riley she can't go. 

Cory gets into the story of The Sword of Damocles, which is a fable and not really history, but maybe it could lead into some historical examples. Regardless, this setup is vastly different from what's to come. They actually did this one right. Most of the time, we would have had Riley show Cory the invitation at home, fade to black or theme song, then open on Cory's clairvoyant puppet-master lesson. But he already had the lesson ready to go, so it's just a coincidence like Pygmalion or The Grapes of Wrath on BMW. Right on.

At Mrs. Svorski's bakery, the audience claps too much for Cloris Leachman to say her lines, which is the most annoying thing a sitcom can possibly do. Some bigwigs at the same law firm as Topanga want to push Svorski out by raising the rent on her building, and Topanga seems resolved to help.

Shockingly enough they got this one right too. 99% of the time, Topanga has to grapple with some Auggie and/or Ava nonsense, and I understand why that appeals to some people, because it is satisfying to see her as a loving mother. But she takes care of that here, she's spending time with her son, Auggie loves this bakery and she wants to make him happy. But she's also given the reins of this side story. I don't think any of us could have predicted back then how rare this would be. 

Maya has apparently predicted that this party is not what Riley and Cory think it is, which is a nice touch. Indeed, as we all know,

Farkle announces Riley as the first female to arrive at the party, prompting an as yet unnamed Smackle to remind Farkle that she is also a female, and does so with a hilariously awkward display of femininity.

The cool guy handing out invitations turns out to be two kids stacked together. Cory and Maya burst out laughing as Cory says "That's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life." He's not far off, it's pretty funny. This scene is looking like a ten out of ten until the "geeks" start doing the robot and making Farkle's stupid goose sound/laugh. That's the worst shit on the planet, this scene is so good otherwise. One of the lightsabers hanging over Riley's head almost stabs into her, eliciting "Damocles!" from Riley. They've done that twice, the second when Cory shouts "Hoover Dam!" I'm surprised they got away with either of those, but I like it. I also like that Cory and Maya are just off in the corner laughing their asses off at Riley. 

Nobody needs to cry or go to the Bay Window to talk about it, it's a funny stupid thing that happened and they reacted appropriately. WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO THE ROBOT. IT WAS SO CLOSE TO BEING GREAT. You're better than that, Jeff Menell.

The geeks invite Riley to be their queen. She realizes she can be "popular" in this group, something she desperately wants. Then the kids start doing the robot again, I really don't fucking know why. And it ends without a hint of Smackle's name. This aired before Girl Meets Smackle, so who knows what the story is with that. 

In class the next day, Farkle is a sexual predator. Awful. "The Sword of Damocles" is still written on the board so somehow that lesson isn't over. Riley has rebranded herself as a Harajuku girl. Now listen, I hung out with a bunch of anime loving japanophiles in high school, there were at least ten women at anime club, and I had never even heard of Harajuku until this episode. Yet somehow Riley, Maya, even Cory, and seemingly everyone else, all know what this is. Maybe it was a phenomenon after my time, I honestly don't know.

So this is her explosive new look to accent her ascension to Empress of Geeks. We met a lot of rehashing of Boy Meets World stories on this show, so I appreciate this stark difference between Cory and Riley. Faced with his geekiness in The Uninvited or Cory's Alternative Friends, Cory wants to run away as far and fast as he can. But Riley runs at the same speed straight into it. Cory hides his geek side to try to be popular (when he was this age, anyway) while Riley over emphasizes that side to try to be popular. 

For the life of me I cannot relate this to Damocles. It's not some layered, complex piece of literature. It's a two sentence story about the fear of getting killed in a position of power. Riley is not in danger. This is a struggle of identity, which is basically the polar opposite of the struggle Damocles felt when he saw the sword above his head. On the bright side, the resolution doesn't even mention Damocles, so the story works without it. I think they just really wanted to do that lightsaber over her head allusion, and couldn't fit it into any other episodes.

The best thing here though is that Cory is stumped. He has no idea how to deal with this insanity, which is FANTASTICALLY refreshing after three seasons of fortune cookie Cory, so he turns to Maya to fix it. "My daughter's going through this week's crazy. You get in there." The geeks admit that they want to "keep their distance" from girls in general, which appeals to Cory as a father, so naturally they all do the robot.

Except it's not natural, it's FUCKING INCOMPREHENSIBLE. 

We skip over to Topanga's own identity crisis. There's a nice parallel theme going on between the two stories. Another thing we couldn't possibly have appreciated at the time, this might be Topanga's only solo scene in the series. Granted, she's talking to her old weird self, but everyone in the scene is Topanga, so it counts. 

Since Topanga's own law firm is on the morally wrong side of the bakery issue, Topanga appeals to her weird side for help. Christian's review railed against this for nostalgia baiting, but I don't mind it at all. I liked seeing her weird side pop back in Resurrection. It's a very real part of her that I don't want swept under the rug. The directing of the scene is awkward as hell, it's filmed so poorly, but the spirit of it is good. They cut to an old clip of weird Topanga in Cory's Alternative Friends, BUT I DON'T NEED IT. I'LL NEVER FORGET. 

SIDE NOTE for the angry Christian of yesteryear. Topanga turns around in the middle of class in Alternative Friends in that scene to check if her and Cory's energies converge. Then Cory goes up to Feeny's desk and talks to him one on one. The main four absolutely run roughshod over Cory's class too much in the first season, but their distractions in this episode are comparable in length to those distractions in Alternative Friends. 

We find Topanga's boss, played by Willie Garson, negotiating terms with Mrs. Svorski. This has to be a nod to BMW fans, and I really like to think that Leonard Spinelli went to one of those self help seminars, changed his name, and became a soulless shark of a lawyer. I don't think Topanga ever met Leonard, so it could happen.

But now Topanga and Auggie show up dressed as hippies to defeat the evil lawyer. Look I'm gonna be straight with you here. I like this episode. I didn't remember liking it, but watching it while I ate my sandwich and watching it again immediately after that while I write this, I like it. I wouldn't have bothered writing this if I didn't honestly enjoy watching it. But this scene is the worst shit on the entire planet. Please, bring back the robot and the lightsabers, I'm begging you.

What is going on! In the plus column, she's including her son in her life, and his costume is pretty funny. Motherly Topanga is great when she's dictating the terms instead of riding the Auggie Rollercoaster of Nonsense. Other than that it's a complete train wreck, what the fuck is Topanga doing? Auggie claims she's "going to her happy place", but she could have done that outside! What is going on! Topanga just holds that pose while the others wonder what she's doing, and then Mrs. Svorski recites a depressing communist version of 99 Bottles of Beer that she learned back in the gulag. What is going on! Topanga ultimately makes a futile appeal to pathos, which is a pretty stupid idea considering all that meditating she had to do to come up with it.

Garson and Leachman are amazing though. The way Garson backhandedly calls Topanga "Aquarius" is hysterical. 

In a move beyond my ability to defend it, we have entered day THREE of our lesson on The Sword of Damocles. Maya's wearing a Ride the Lightning shirt though, so that's cool.

That joke works better when you can just play the X Files theme. Anyway.

We learn that Riley doesn't actually know anything about Harajuku or its girls, she's just doing this to be popular, which is important later.

There's a lot of implied violence in the next scene when a very fierce Maya wants Farkle to stop supporting this crap. Maya's pissed, and she tells Riley "The world I know wants you to be yourself. And my world... it needs you in it." Menell is earning his keep there. Meets World is amazing because it goes beyond those cliche lessons. It's not "be yourself," it's "your friends probably rely on who you really are, so it's okay to be that person." What I really like about this is that it isn't the god damn Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, there's no crying, there's no speeches. It's just Maya laying it down like Shawn does at the end of The Uninvited. Maya's words aren't enough though, as Riley remains determined, which I also like. Maya's really putting effort into this, and by a twist that I can't remember seeing anywhere else in the series, the best friend approach isn't enough. Wow.

Topanga asks Riley if she's popular with herself, which is closer to the cliche end of things, but there's no indication it contributes to the resolution at the end, so this moment feels out of place, but it only lasts like ten seconds. Auggie observes that "weird mommy is cool," which is his only line on this show that resonates with me. Weird Topanga is cool, and I like when she played laundry basketball with Cory.

At the bakery, Topanga walks in on Willie Garson trying to bamboozle Mrs. Svorski into signing a contract. Topanga looks like a professional again, the idea being that she's combined her weird self with her shark lawyer self, and I'm going to be daring and claim that it's reflected in her wardrobe:

No but seriously I think that was intentional. It's funny though, Topanga's being dramatic and metaphorical and Garson is not having any of it. I wish he was in every scene on this show to be like "You're not talking like a human being right now. You are not acting like a human being would in this situation." 

The Matthews parents have decided to give Svorski the money she needs. Attempting to gauge their finances, Svorski asks Cory what he does for a living, and gives a nervous laugh when he says he's a middle school teacher. Yup, this is Meets World alright. This line from Topanga though, "He's always been my partner, and we've always done well together. Now... it's time to do good." RED ALERT, SIRENS, THAT'S A REFERENCE. As you all know and certainly don't need to be reminded, Feeny told them to do good in the finale, and Topanga incorrectly asks "Don't you mean 'do well'?" And bam, here she is, making the distinction as she follows Feeny's last lesson. Awesome.

OH WAIT. SOMEONE DOESN'T KNOW THAT AND DOES NEED TO BE REMINDED. BECAUSE CHRISTIAN DIDN'T CATCH IT WHEN HE REVIEWED THIS EPISODE. There are only two commenters on that post, and neither of them mentions it, so you are all to blame. That is a blemish on this blog's legacy, and I'm glad we have remedied it today. 

It's a bit of a mish mash though, I don't see what weird Topanga has to do with this decision. Weird Topanga wasn't like, noteworthy for being a philanthropist. She threatens to find another firm and "destroy" Garson if she doesn't get a salary advance to cover the costs, which is also awesome, but also not really related to weird Topanga.

Now the qualifying round of the regional spelling bee is in Cory's classroom because it just is, between JQA, recently joined by geek empress Riley, and Einstein Academy, which has apparently relocated from Philly, or maybe they just traveled far to be on High School Quiz Show, I don't know. Farkle calls Smackle by name here, so I'm assuming this was supposed to air after Meets Smackle.

Cece has been fantastic from the beginning. I didn't review Meets Smackle either, I might do that one next if it's any good. 

Smackle claims she's going to "destroy" Farkle. I'm really digging the female empowerment in the last few minutes. It's Riley's turn to spell, and in breaking every conceivable rule of spelling bees, Maya hands Cory a new card with a word for Riley to spell. You can actually see through it, and it does indeed say "Harajuku." Not that Riley would need to cheat, since anyone's very first guess at spelling it would probably be right. 

We've moved from The Uninvited to Cory's Alternative Friends, and finally to Quiz Show. The idea here is to shock Riley into this realization of "Oh shit, if any part of this persona were authentic I would know this, I must be a complete fraud," like Shawn's realization at the end of Quiz Show. This show isn't as good, so we're left without a crushingly memorable line like Shawn's "I don't... really know anything..." Also Shawn wouldn't be able to use words like "persona" or "authentic," although as a Hunter he's probably intimately familiar with "fraud." 

So Riley finally abandons her Harajuku life, and gives Farkle's geeky friends a delightful confidence boost by saying they were cool to hang out with. Their faces light up, and it doesn't serve the story or lesson or anything, it's just an excellent bit of polish for Riley's character. I also love that Maya and Cory were a team to solve this one. Great work, Menell.

And there are some emotional moments during the credits.

Let's try to recap what I liked here. The class lesson isn't puppet mastery. Its sole involvement comes from Maya's misinterpretation of the story in the first few minutes, she says "Being what other people want you to be is just a sword hanging over your head." Cory says that's "Good" but it was Damocles himself who wanted to sit on the throne, so it's nonsense. But that's okay, Shawn and Cory misinterpret the Grapes of Wrath. And it's not necessary for the class lesson to coincide with the life lesson, we're just so fucking used to it that it sticks out when it didn't happen here. And I love Cory's reaction to all of it, starting from the Geek Party. He's not being controlling or trying to influence it, he just helps out at the end. And of course, seeing him carry out a story with Topanga is a treat.

As for Riley, it's not the standard best friend spiel that changes her mind. In fact we explicitly see it not change her mind. It ends up being a personal realization that makes the difference. 

That one Topanga scene is the worst shit on the planet, like I said, but her implementing Feeny's final lesson and the two fantastic guest stars absolutely make up for it. And Auggie is exactly who he ought to be in this episode, a companion to play off of Cory and Topanga.

Anddddddd. It's funny. Jeff Menell is still a funny guy. That invitation push at the beginning is still cracking me up.

I think Christian's poor grade here (a C+) is largely because he hadn't suffered through three seasons already. We were still hopeful back then. I'd be shocked if this episode isn't in my top 3 for season one. I mean Lucas isn't even in it. That's about as good as you're gonna get in season one. In fact I'll try to take recommendations, anything before Meets First Date, which was my first review here, that you think is as good as or better than this one. 

I liked it a lot. Smackle is Cece Balagot.

That's a fantastic two line poem. It has a two-syllable rhyme on a_ot and the consistent k sound on the second syllable. I'm the best.

But yeah. Great episode. What should I watch next?

20 Greatest Meets World Characters: #12. Amy Matthews

#12. Amy Matthews

Played By: Betsy Randle (1993-2000, 2014, 2017)

Episode Count:  138 (136- BMW, 2- GMW)

Role: Matthews family matriarch

Signature Episodes: Cyrano, Ain't Gonna Spray Lettuce No More, Fishing for Virna, A Long Walk to Pittsburgh, Security Guy, Raging Cory, How to Succeed in Business, My Baby Valentine

BMW has a lot of positive traits, but its writing for women was not necessarily one of them. All the depth and complexity is centered around the male heroes, while the girls are generally just relegated to typical female "voice of reason" roles. There is probably no better example of this than Amy - her husband gets a lot of depth, and quite a bit of story and pathos for a parent on a teen sitcom, but Amy more or less is just... there, serving dinner, trying to mediate whatever interesting conflict is taking place between the men in her life. It's a problem, that Alan and Amy, though often presented as a unit, have such a disparity in terms of depth. 

Still, while Amy's mostly just there - she's there a lot. She's there for seven seasons. No, it's not a flashy role, but then... sometimes moms don't get flashy roles in their families. If Amy's role in the Matthews family lacks complexity, it may be because moms often don't get the benefit of having complex roles in their family. Traditionally, Dads get to be the fun parent and the scary parent, and not much in between. The day to day parental drudgery - making sure people are fed, have clean clothes, get to school on time - the much more time-consuming and less exciting stuff. The perfect representation of Amy's role in the series, to me, is the episode "Fishing for Virna". Amy has a small storyline in that one, she keeps making breakfast, and the family keeps being too busy or distracted to notice or care and she starts to feel, silently, ignored. Cory eventually notices, stops to have breakfast with her, and thanks her. It's a tiny moment (obviously the episode's primarily about Virna's return and the lunchlady's death) but it fits who Amy is perfectly. She's there, working hard, providing support, not getting the attention, but ultimately her presence matters in a big way.

The Matthews family needs her. Cory, Eric, and Alan are plagued by such angst and self-doubt that they'd fall apart without Amy there to offer rational advice. Her contributions may lack the profundity of Feeny's, but it's generally just as sound, and given without all the fanfare. Feeny can be a bit of a fortune cookie as he's accused, and when he gives advice there's often some dogma attached to it, a sense that he knows he's an advice wizard and is pleased with it and you better LISTEN UP because you're about to get WISDOM you'll remember FOREVER. Amy doesn't get any glory, she doesn't got time for that, she just tells you what's up. As we saw in "Brothers", when Amy goes to Feeny for advice it's useless, because she doesn't need his help, she knows the answers herself. And considering even Feeny has moments where he needs what's up explained to him, I'd argue Amy may well be the wisest character on Boy Meets World. That's... bold. Prove me wrong! When does Amy ever seem genuinely stumped when it comes to making a decision or in some emotional matter? When does she ever seem to not have the answer to a problem and need the answer explained to her by someone else? 

I've always enjoyed the practicality of Amy. This is a very idealistic show, filled with characters with all sorts of romantic notions, and generally passion and emotion are seen as superior to logic and rationality: 15 year-old girlfriend's going to be gone for a week? HOP ON A PLANE AND FOLLOW HER! Didn't get into college because you're a fuck up? HIT THE OPEN ROAD AND EXPLORE AMERICA! Got into one of the best universities in America? GO TO SOME LOCAL COLLEGE AND MARRY YOUR BOYFRIEND! But Amy, though perfectly able to understand those instincts and understanding of them, is one of the few characters (even including Feeny) who's like "Wellll..... hooooooold on." Amy thought Cory and Topanga were being ridiculous in "A Long Walk to Pittsburgh" and they were. Cory maybe should have tried dating other people, and Topanga running away from home to be with Cory isn't the answer. When Cory and Topanga announced their engagement following their college graduation, she thought it was a horrible idea, and, yeah, she was right about that too. Sure, in the end, romantic idealism had its day, but it's worthwhile that Amy's there to be, like, "Well, okay, hold on, guys, let's talk about this." She's the same with the rest of the family too. She's harder on Eric than Alan because she knows it's the only way he's going to grow up, and she can identify when Alan's behavior is out of whack as well. 

Again, it's not a flashy role she plays. Nor is it a particularly fun role. I doubt Amy is anyone's favorite character. And of the seven core characters who appeared in all seven seasons, there's a reason she's ranked last. But, I do think Amy's an underrated character in Boy Meets World, and I don't think this show would have been the same without her. The Matthews family certainly wouldn't.

20 Greatest Meets World Characters: #13. Angela Moore

#13. Angela Moore

Played By: Trina McGee-Davis (1997-2000, 2015)

Episode Count: 55 (54- BMW, 1- GMW)

Role: Shawn's first love

Signature Episodes: I Love You Donna Karan, Chasing Angela, First Girlfriend's Club, Friendly Persuasion, Santa's Little Helpers, The Truth About Honesty, Angela's Men, Angela's Ashes

Sorry for the delay on this! Been very busy. So. Angela.

Sean and I have both been pretty open about not being huge fans of her, but Angela's import is fairly self evident, and I think she was easily the most significant of the trio of latter season additions, and generally the best handled. Unlike Jack and Rachel who just showed up one day and were suddenly main cast members living with our heroes, Angela was introduced gradually as a recurring character. First, as just a student at John Adams, then as one of the litany of girls Shawn briefly dates, and finally as his first real girlfriend (sorry, Dana, it's true). Season 5 gradually got us used to Angela, and by the time she joined the main cast in Season 6 it felt like she'd earned her place as a main cast member and I didn't find it as off-putting as I could have.

Angela played a few important roles. So much of Shawn's development in the final three seasons, his burgeoning introspection of who he is and why he does the things he does, and his ability to take himself and his actions seriously is wrapped up in her. She helped him grow up. As a person and as a character, Shawn very much needed an Angela to give his arc some focus. I didn't love every aspect of their relationship, and the constant shuffling of who was pulling away from who because they were overwhelmed by their feelings could get exhausting, but then, that's kind of what people are like when they're 19 years old. 

To that end, I think Angela's biggest claim to fame is that she helped establish a teenage relationship on this show that felt real. It was messy, it was angsty for reasons that seem silly to us as adults now but could easily seem REAL and IMPORTANT at the time, and, most importantly, it ended. For a show meant to represent the coming of age of an average American kid, BMW has always had the big problem of him being involved in a completely unrealistic relationship. So, because Cory and Topanga couldn't represent what a real "first love" relationship would look like, Shawn and Angela had to represent it instead. And I think it did so well. Ultimately, my favorite thing about Shawn and Angela was that the show had the courage to end it, despite everything they'd invested in it, because it was what felt right. Shawn isn't Cory, it never made sense that true love and happiness would come to him so easily. They were too young, too broken, too immature, and plagued by too many of the same issues for that to have worked out. And I think it was important that they show this, and it provided a nice bittersweet note to the end of the series and drew attention to the role that goodbyes play in transitioning from college to adulthood, since otherwise everyone else (of importance) was going off to, like, live in an apartment together in Manhattan.

And, because it ended, Angela continued to have a role to play in Girl Meets World. Not so much... physically (her one appearance wasn't handled very well and I'm not convinced we needed it), but as an idea. The specter of Angela continue to haunt Shawn and informed the more adult relationship he would go on to build with Katy. I have my issues with the fact that playboy Shawn Hunter would still be hung up on a girl who broke up with him 15 years ago, but narratively it probably made sense to make the personification of his relationship issues be someone the audience was familiar with rather than some new character who he'd met in the interim. 

Still, while Angela was just as important to the development of this franchise's second main character as anyone (even Turner and Chet) she does have the issue of existing more as an idea and a catalyst than a character of her own. Van Damme tickets and Vivaldi aside, we don't really get to know Angela very well outside of the prism of her relationship with Shawn. The show never did an amazing job of establishing her relationships with non-Shawn cast members, and her best friendship with Topanga was something I always had trouble buying. The best characters aid in the progression of the narrative and the development of other characters, while also being great characters themselves. Feeny's main role is the effect he has on other people too (though, obviously, he effects far more people than Angela does), but as a person himself, he's also great.. Angela really only hits 1 out of 2, which is why she doesn't rank higher, and why she ranks the lowest of Shawn's Character Development Foursome. 

She came closest to feeling like a real person in Season 6, which I think is by far her best season. Episodes like "Friendly Persuasion" where she forces Cory to confront that they're not really friends, and "Santa's Little Helpers" where she finally stands up for herself in the face of Shawn's self-absorption offer glimmers of an fierce, independent young woman I'd have liked to have gotten to know. But I'm not sure if we ever really did. Still, if only by virtue of the relationship she built with Shawn, I do think we got to know her better than Jack and Rachel.

Episode Review: "World Meets Girl" (#3.19)

I'm just gonna fire off the cuff as we go here, I don't think we need any overall analysis. 47 minutes seems like an eternity.

Okay we're out here and all these people are about to meet Rowan and Sabrina and I had to pause it immediately out of overwhelming pre-cringe. I don't want to see this, they're not even KIDS, everyone here is older than Rowan, this is gonna be so bad. Lemme get a couple shots real quick.

Speaking of shots, I've starting streaming on Twitch again. Sometimes it's art, sometimes it's games, just hit follow here and you'll get an email when the stream starts. That sounds fun RIGHT? Please clap.

It's an odd thing, you know, if any of these people were here alone, I imagine they wouldn't be acting so ridiculous, something like "hey it's really great to meet you, I'm a huge fan". But this mobbing of celebrities is something people get programmed to do. To be honest I'd rather discuss the psychology of celebrity culture than "review" this "episode" but I have to get it done eventually. Oh shit, this girl runs out of the crowd to hug Sabrina.

SECURITY! WHERE IS SECURITY!

But no, it's fine, they take it in stride. Try doing that shit to Rider, that's not gonna go well. 

No comment.

Michael Jacobs gets some screen time, which in pretty much any other circumstance I would make fun of, but after this fucking journey, after everything he's given us, I'm actually really happy about it. 

Okay, apparently the same guy, "Wesley," did the academic teaching for the actors on both Meets World shows. Thanks for your work Wesley. There's something poetic about having that role when the Meets World shows have so much to say about teachers. 

Peyton is apparently one of those guys who wears gym shorts outside the gym, which I think should be a crime, but otherwise the guys all seem pretty cool. A few people explain why Farkle is their favorite. Apparently he is both smart and funny. Hoo boy. They nailed it.

They had to work an Ava montage in somehow, so they just take the cue from someone talking about Riley loving her brother. That's about as close as you're gonna get I guess.

If nothing else, I'm glad we can all start calling her Cece Balagot instead of Cecilia. That's good to know, I'm going to feel better about that going forward. Some guy wearing an old Boy Meets World shirt managed to get on tv for a few seconds, so that's cool, I respect the hustle. 

How is there 30 more minutes of this, I'm ready to die. Someone's favorite moment is Triangle drama. It makes me wonder why I even bother writing this blog. How can I reach these people? There will always be people whose favorite thing about BMW was the Cory-Topanga relationship. I'm just a man. I'll never reach these people who need it the most.

Peyton finds a surprisingly eloquent audience member to talk to, so that's one bullet dodged. But there's like a hundred more bullets coming. 

Yeah it's that thing.

Riley's pick is less eloquent, this is gonna be that embarrassing moment that keeps her from falling asleep when she's 25. I've got those. Lemme tell you. Most of them involve improv, and if Christian doesn't agree he's lying.

This is how you know we're dealing with the casual fans. Corey asks this girl if a moment on the show impacted her life and she's pretty vague about it. I show up to that question like WHEN ERIC TRIES TO HELP JACK IN SEMI FORMAL. Oh true, the next girl fucking nails it talking about Jexica. Honestly that justifies this whole thing for me, that's really great. Jexica was a great episode, and if I were this girl's age I like to think it would have helped me too. Someone else was inspired by Girl Meets Rileytown. That's genuinely nice to hear.

They interview some best friends and do a montage of Riley and Maya. I'm starting to realize this is a waste of time. One of the kids talking about Lucas manages to point out that Lucas always protects everyone, that's good. See, this show isn't lost on people. That Triangle person was a fluke, I think most of these people see what's important about the show. Even if they're too nervous to explain it very well.

The bloopers are actually pretty fun. Obviously the best one is with Shawn.

They're pulling pairs of "best friends" to come sit in the bay window, and while that personally doesn't appeal to me, I think it's extremely sweet for age-appropriate fans. It's a huge gamble honestly, this is a big segment to just choose people at random. There's gotta be something we're not seeing about it. It's probably the most annoying montage though. The bay window holds nearly all of the least realistic moments. People don't act like this. And I know what you're gonna say, so let's start a new paragraph.

Shawn and Eric act unrealistically all the time. You're right. But when Shawn is hopelessly overdramatic or Eric does something unreasonably insane, it's for the sake of the character, right, it's showing us something unique to that character. The bay window moments are just needlessly saccharine for the sake of the power of friendship. And look, I appreciate the role friendship plays in the Meets World shows, but only as far as it relates to people's real lives. 

The guests are about to start talking but then they hug, come on, I want to see something real here. Aw okay, that was nice. Honestly I think I've rehearsed all of these kinds of speeches to my best friends. I'd be ready for this shit. 

But yeah, some of these are really nice. I'm glad that happened.

I've never been more acutely aware of the fact that we are two men in our 20's watching this show, but whatever.

So okay, the big takeaways: People really do appreciate the show outside of god damn shipping, and she goes by Cece.

 Literally zero uses of the word "Eric." 

All in all I wouldn't even call it a waste of time. I enjoyed seeing how this show impacts people outside of RUCAYA. RUCAS. RIMAYERKLE. MANY episodes of this show made me miserable and bored from start to finish, and made me wish the show didn't exist. This episode, despite being way too long, at the very least made me happy the show exists. That's worth something.

I'm going to add some more thoughts. World did not meet girl. I was really expecting a Q&A and getting some real thoughts from the actors about the show and the stories. That is to say, we learned nothing from this experience. So it is a disappointment and it sucks, but I stand by the fact that it didn't make me hate the show the way that, say, Meets Fish did.

Girl Meets World officially cancelled

Most of you have heard the news by now, I'm sure, but seemed like we ought to make an actual post to address it. "Girl Meets World" was officially cancelled by Disney yesterday, apparently. Although the writing's been on the wall for months now, and I think Sean and I at least had pretty much been operating under this assumption.

With only three episodes left, Sean and I will obviously be doing a more formal wrap-up post in the coming month. It's a bittersweet moment. I won't pretend that Sean's and my interest in the show hasn't waned this season, and I admit I'm sort of ready to end the day-to-day responsibility of this blog. Still, it's sad that the adventures of the Matthews family has come to what will likely be a final close, and I'm very grateful for you all for sticking with us.

In the meantime, gear up for three more episode reviews, and the remainder of the Top 20 Meets World Characters list. 

Everything that comes to mind here would be better served in the final wrap up, so I don't have anything to add. Christian's on deck for the next two Top 20 posts, so yell at him to write them.

I will say that, although "cancelled" is technically correct, I prefer to just call it ending.