The most destructive thing I have to say is that I despise the way they split parts 1 and 2. If you are going to drop a NUCLEAR WARHEAD like they did at the end of part 1, YOU HAVE TO PICK UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF, you can't just dive in some ambiguous-many minutes later. How the fuck did they resolve that tension from the end of part 1? If you're not going to resolve it, then don't do it in the first place. YOU CAN'T BAIT YOUR AUDIENCE WITH A CLIFFHANGER AND THEN PRETEND THE CLIFFHANGER DIDN'T HAPPEN. DAMN.
You know what else didn't happen? Anything. For the first nineteen minutes, anyway. This episode is vanilla pudding. I'm not gonna yell in your face if you try to hand me vanilla pudding, but I'm not gonna fall in love with you either.
|Pictured: Super Interesting.|
Then again, everything felt like filler. Can I get a count on Lucas saying "I don't know what's going on"? There were only two things on our checklist. Riley has to explain her "brother and sister love" to Lucas, which by the very end Lucas still claims he does not understand, and Maya's confession. So we got half of what we wanted. And that half was wonderful. The campfire was pretty close to perfect, but I'm just dead tired of Lucas saying "I don't understand." Maya's delivery of "Of course I like you" was perfect, though. The exact right mix of casual and emotional.
It sounds like I'm coming down hard on it, but it's still in B territory. It's just that coming off of Part 1's shining, magnificent glory, I expected a lot more, and I'm really pissed about the trick box vanishing act they pulled on part 1's cliffhanger. There was no depth here. It was as straightforward and predictable as possible. Point A to point A-and-a-half. I have nothing to analyze! I feel so empty without my analysis! There was a COUNTRY MUSIC PERFORMANCE for crying out loud! At least during Meets Semi-Formal the characters interacted during the song, so the story kept moving.
So that's the technical reviewer stuff. There remain two matters of personal opinion to weigh in on. Is Riley doing the right thing/does she actually mean what she's saying, and should Lucas have kissed Maya?
The answer to the first comes from Rowan, I think. She's a good enough actress at this point that her delivery would be completely different if Riley actually believed what she's saying. You've all seen part 3 by the time I'm writing this, while I still haven't, so maybe I'm completely wrong and you're laughing at me. Well hahaha I can laugh at you too. Is it the right thing to do though? Maybe in spirit, her heart is in the right place, but the whole mystique with Lucas "not understanding" isn't fun for me. For the second matter, hell yeah he shoulda. But what do I know. I'm single as fuck.
Christian will be here eventually and I have no idea what he's going to say. I hope he can make me feel better about this. I'm going to get some Steak and Shake and watch part 3.
I was disappointed in this part too, and it seems to be for the same reasons as you are. In general this three-parter seems to be suffering from the fact that it in no way needed to be a three-parter. This is two episodes worth of material (and I believe when we first heard of "Girl Meets Texas" it was a two-parter, but then Disney would appear to have made them make it a three-parter and do a weekend event out of it) and while you can (without too much difficulty) stretch two episodes into three, you have to spread it out better than they did here. You stretch Episode 1 into 1.5 episodes, and then you stretch episode 2 into 1.5 episodes and you're good.
What they did instead, it would seem, was not fuck with Episode 1 at all, and then stretch episode 2 into two distinct episodes. And there wasn't enough material there to justify it. So it was all just people negotiating over their feelings, with the only drama coming from the fact that people kept needlessly laying down emotionally-charged statements in public for no reason. And, then, yes, stalling in the form of country music performances and shit. While I lauded the music performance in "Semi-Formal" for being handled as well as those things could, this was not as good an example of it (although, thankfully, they didn't become characters in the story)
Also, I'm sorry, do mine ears deceive me? Is that rib joint they went to actually called Chubbie's? I... don't know how I feel about that. Good, I guess. I guess I feel good about it.
Anyway, yeah, the good will I was feeling towards Riley and Lucas in the last episode are gone now. Lucas reverted back to his "Girl Meets Sneak Attack" behavior of being an vacuous empty shell for people to barter over. No attention at all was paid toward how Lucas was actually feeling and who he liked, which is just as well, because he seems content to like whomever he's told to like. At first he seemed like he liked Riley in this episode, and then he was assigned Maya, so, okay, he likes Maya. I don't know why they wussed out on the kiss, except that it's Disney Channel. But it was lame. Just kiss. God.
And Riley was just obnoxious. You don't need to be doing this in front of Farkle and Zay and everyone. What the hell is the matter with you? They all keep doing shit like that throughout this episode and the next one and I hate it. It's a fake attempt to create drama by just having people act in unbelievable histrionic fashion.
Like Sean, I'm probably being too harsh here. There's still some good drama here, and this is a B episode. My loathing of Episode 3 is probably leaking in. But it was a let down considering Part 1 was so good.
R.I.P. Ben Savage in every episode. Come on, he couldn't have called to deliver that advice himself?
Episode Rating: B-
Episode MVP: Sabrina Carpenter (She played her part in all this well)
Oh yeah, Chubbie's. I felt good about it too. I think the secret is that nobody commented on it. Nothing like "WAIT RILES DIDN'T YOUR DAD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT A CHUBBIE'S, IT'S LIKE HOW OUR BAY WINDOW IS EVERYWHERE." It was just one line for the people who managed to catch it. Finally.
I really liked this, "So it was all just people negotiating over their feelings, with the only drama coming from the fact that people kept needlessly laying down emotionally-charged statements in public for no reason." That is the cliffnotes version of the review. That is precisely how I feel about it.