Friday, September 23, 2016

Episode Review: "Girl Meets She Don't Like Me" (#3.14)

I have had just the worst week and I had no intention of writing this tonight, but I can't really go anywhere when I'm sick and I have enough vodka to get through this review so HEY. LET'S JUST GO FOR IT, MAN. Just like they taught us in Girl Meets... Huh. They never really talk about chasing your dreams because none of the characters have any goals. Great.

Just like they taught us in The Eskimo.

Riley wants to make new friends, Maya fearlessly attempts to anchor her in reality. I love this moment where she and this other girl exchange easy pleasantries, but she gets angry when pressed for anything more than "How are you?" It's one of those Meets World Moments where you're like WOAH THAT'S TOO REAL. It's like when I wave or say hi to that one guy I see every single day. I don't have time for you, nobody wants to talk to you, keep moving.
Riley goes and is Riley to some poor unsuspecting girl. Riley is so annoying, you guys. I hate it, I would never be friends with Riley.

YEAH. NEW GIRL DOES'NT LIKE RILEY. NEW PROTAGONIST. SHAWL MEETS LOCKER, FROM DISNEY, NEXT SUMMER. That's why Girl Meets World is ending after this season, it's relaunching as a new series with this shawl girl who doesn't like Riley as the protagonist. This is my new favorite character. 

Maya is the best friend on the planet though. I don't think Riley could survive without her, I want a friend like that. Do you think Christian would take me in his arms and sing soothing melodies on the floor in front of the lockers? Vote now on your phones.
Actually he sort of did, when I was trying to get him to write that last review.
I need a minute to... process this...

Zay gets to fireman-carry Maya to class, which he no doubt enjoys, and for THE. FIRST. TIME. SINCE THE FALL OF ROME. Smackle and Farkle do a bit of physical humor without absolutely zero dialogue. We haven't seen that in over a thousand years. Our hero Jeff Menell wrote this episode, so thank you Jeff Menell. You did something new. Something new happened on this show. Thank you.

The health teacher is every health teacher from every sitcom, and the actor just barely made it to his audition in time after watching the first three episodes of the youtube series "Acting Lessons For Ages 13 And Over". 

Like every sitcom that ever had a health class scene, somebody has to faint. Here it's Farkle. I'm sure the people who love Farkle will think it's great, and that's great, but I think it's dumb. He was a hormone monster for like a year and a half, but a scientific diagram of a vagina is making him lose consciousness? This guy has probably seen more porn in his life than you or I would dare to dream of. I don't buy it.
They gave Topanga some long rant about control that I wasn't really listening to. She ought to be the first person to understand that you can't make everyone like you. Between Cory's Alternative Friends and Hair Today Goon Tomorrow, this Topanga doesn't make a lot of sense. But then, she rarely does on this show.

Riley doesn't want to learn about her period from the male gym teacher, which is completely reasonable, so, somehow, Cory replaces him for the job. 

This is where I take a break, because I can't keep going. I'm gonna go get some TEX MEX, like a GIANT ass thing of nachos with all the TOPPINGS. Yeahhhhhhhhh.
That's not mine but it's gonna be like that.

I'm back and I bought a new bottle of vodka because my other one is running out. It's another one of these episodes where they fuse TWO episodes together, Girl Meets Body and Girl Meets She Don't Like Me. Every single time I say that, I follow it up with "Maybe they'll tie it together in a neat way," but I don't think that's ever happened, so I'm not gonna say it this time. 

I'm amazed they got this censored bit on the air, but it's pretty damn funny.
I don't know why Cory is cringing at Smackle's graphic explanation of human reproduction, this is a man who loves booties and butts and bums. 
There's a group meeting to deal with the fact that my favorite character doesn't like Riley. I thoroughly enjoyed Smackle's attempt at changing the subject and everyone's reactions to it. The teenage existentialism of "we're all just specks" isn't enough to dissuade Riley though, and on this I actually appreciate her character. No matter how many times you tell me I'm insignificant in the universe and everything about me will be forgotten in a hundred years, I'm still gonna be pretty preoccupied with trying to have sex. It really is difficult to push past the "meaningless" stuff unless you're a fake tv character like Dr. Manhattan or Sheldon Cooper or Farkle. So yeah, I appreciate that that didn't fix Riley's problem.

I'm still not on board with Cory being uncomfortable about human reproduction, since, you know, 

BUT! I WILL SAY! That I appreciate seeing the flip side of Cory's coin. We're seeing him in a room where he doesn't magically have these answers and lessons and wisdom. In that way, he is very much like old Cory, and we all want that. 

Coach Vinetti comes back and has some wisdom about controlling your own body. That's not his real name, but when you look at him, you're pretty sure that's what his name should be. Looks like he caught the fourth episode of that youtube series on acting, look at that body language. So much pointing for enunciation. "Make good decisions about yourselves." Well thank you, I'm glad we stopped by.

Riley has a "Letting Go Ceremony" which is dumb because letting go is like, the hardest thing a human being has to do in this life, but whatever. It's time for the final showdown with my favorite character, who still doesn't have a name.

Okay Topanga sent my favorite character's entire family to fucking prison, why do I watch this show?

Can someone tell me why I watch this show?

Okay so let's recap. Maya is great. Maya's been great ever since her stupid "I'm Riley" arc ended. I think this should have been called Girl Meets Control, because that's what it was really about. And on that front, I don't know what we learned. That you have control over your own mind and body? Great, but maybe Riley should have learned not to annoy random strangers. It's true that not everyone will like you, and you should be who you want to be, but you should also recognize that having good social skills is valuable. 

I'm not waiting for Christian this week, happy Friday.

Sorry you're under the weather, Seanzi. I'm sure all the.... vodka helped. And was it really Skol? Yikes. What'd that cost, $7.99? Quality stuff. 

I'm actually enjoying a late night Bloody Mary myself though. 

Skol is the TRUTH man, I love it. Bloody Marys are good too though. 

Hey guys. Finally watching. I liked "I'll have to learn new names. I'm still learning Zay! It's 'Zay', right?" Although that doesn't bode well for his hopes of a burgeoning relationship between the two of them.

Okay, show, I'm going to stop you right here. I see what you're going for with this girl who doesn't like Riley. Or I think I do. If I was a betting man, I would bet that.... she never winds up liking Riley. No matter what Riley tries, and she'll be trying most of the episode. We'll end up with a moral that... not everyone's going to like you. And that's okay. Because it matters that you like yourself, or that the people you're closest to like you. And if you go around trying to make everyone like you, then no one will. I bet some version of that line will be said. So, I could turn out wrong, but I'm guessing (without finishing the episode) that you're going for that.

The problem is that you introduced this girl (who, by the way, just standing there radiates charisma, this girl's going places) by having Riley introduce herself to her, very strangely, but perfectly politely and not all that overbearingly (for her) and the girl responded by rudely declaring "I don't like her." This is a problem because... most people who don't like you don't behave that way. They're not outright villains who are cruel to your face upon first meeting you for no reason. 

Most people who don't like you probably had no strong opinion of you one way or another at first. But then they got to know you a bit, and your flaws irritated them more than your strengths endeared you to them. And that's what's hard to deal with. That's the thing that sucks. It doesn't suck when, like, Draco Malfoy doesn't like you. Because Draco Malfoy goes out of his way to be a tool and let you know he's a tool. Of course, he doesn't like you. Why would you even want him to?

I am, of course, all forced to point that there have been plenty of people who haven't liked Riley. Missy Bradford's one. Whoever who was actively bullying her in Season 2, that's another. Hell, Riley thought Shawn Hunter didn't like her. Remember that? She turned out to be wrong about that, but she thought it. Her father's own best friend, a grown adult, she thought actively didn't like her. And she was sad about it, but she kept it together. But this chick doesn't like her and she falls apart? Nope. Nope nope. 

Oh, look Lucas is carrying Riley to health class. Hey guys, you boyfriend/girlfriend? Because I literally have no fucking idea.

Wait, is Farkle fainting when the gym teacher says "Let's talk about your bodies" what you were complaining about, Sean? I don't think it matters that he's seen porn, I think it's a joke about him not liking this uncouth, bestial man talking about bodies. I don't think it's meant to imply the subject by itself would.... oh, nope, there he goes again. Yeah, I don't buy that. I don't even care about the porn angle. This is a textbook, Farkle as written would certainly not have a problem with the biological aspects of any of this. 

"You know what's the best about being the youngest? Nothing." That's lunacy. Babies are spoiled rotten. Babies are everyone's favorites. Babies never have to do the hard shit. Auggie's talking out of his ass. 

Most of what Topanga was up to in that scene didn't really feel like her. It felt like someone writing her, who only read a synopsis of what her deal was. But then again, the loosely defined nature of Topanga as a character even on BMW in comparison to the three male leads is well documented. I did like Danielle's delivery of "I'm the boss of this world."

Bunch of boring stuff about health class. Why is this so much about health class now? We got off topic. Don't make this about trying to control everything and show a bunch of things you can't control. Don't try to be "Things Change". You will lose. "Things Change" is excellent. 

Oh good, when Lucas smiles at Smackle she feels butterflies and when Farkle smiles it appears to disgust her. Funnnnnnnnnnnnn. If Lucas had brightly said "Not really." when Smackle asked if he liked her, it would have maaaaade my day.

Man, did I go through this episode hoping that the gym teacher would come back and have a redemption arc about how he may be coarse but he's a good teacher after all. Thank GOD.

I called this episode wrong, I guess, it was too unfocused to be about this (STILL NAMELESS?!) girl who doesn't like Riley. It's just about, like, kinda whatever. Riley's been fuming about this girl who doesn't like her, but we haven't seen her since the opening, I think, and meanwhile she's dealing with this health class situation which gets most of the airtime even though it doesn't seem to be what's bothering her. How are we not seeing more of the girl? Maybe because you made her a strawman and she has nowhere to go.

Oh good. Smackle had a sex dream about Lucas. Funnnnnnnnnnn. Did Cecelia Balagot butcher the signature "How ya doin'?" BMW/GMW line and assume it should be said like Joey Tribbiani? Or did she and the show deliberately do a Tribbiani "How you doin'?" Because that was a blatant Tribbianni. 

"Hi." "Yeah, still don't like you." "Well, I like you." MIC DROP. Except... no you don't. You couldn't possibly. She has no attributes other than her dislike of you. It's the only thing you know about her. It's the only thing any of us know about her. It's the only words she's said. She has no name. Because this is not a well written episode. Sorry, Jeff.

Oh no no no no no no no, what did you do? What was that ending? Oh god, guys. No, no, no, no. Not good. Also, undercuts the ending of the episode, which showed the girl warming up to Riley by her kindness. Oh god, what a mess.

Episode Rating: I'd have been a nice guy and given it a C before that ending. But that's borderline poisoning Morgan territory. And also I was bored silly, so, you know what? D+ for you.
Episode MVP: Crap, I dunno, dude who played the gym teacher. I'll be a champ and look it up - Brian Scalaro. MVP.


  1. Hi Sean, sorry to hear you're feeling sick.

    This episode...I guess it reminds me of "Real World" in a strange way. It's like the lessons are two parts of...well, not a coin, since they're not totally comparable. Maybe two sides of a die. "Real World" said "go out and try to make the world a better place, even a teensy bit is a start." The lesson here is that you can't control everything, but you can control yourself.

    I'm glad you liked Maya, and I admit it was funny, but I have to say, I found her somewhat hypocritical. While it's certainly a relief to be away from the "I'm a clone of Riley" storyline, Maya has had a tendency to be rather controlling. "Bay Window" comes to mind.

    That being said, it's likely that Riley wouldn't have listened to anyone else--though I think Isadora could have had a thing or two to say about struggling to come to terms with being in or out of control of things.

    I did like that Riley's attempts to get the random girl to like her were actually understated. This episode would have sucked if we did the standard "This person does not like me. I must do everything humanly possible to change this."

    I actually kind of liked the health teacher--though it may be because he reminded me of one of my teachers from the prep school my brother and I attended. Every week, as class let out for the weekend, my teacher would plead "Guys, I beg of you. When you go out tonight, be smart. Do not make babies."

    The Auggie B-plot was actually pretty good. It took up no time whatsoever. It was rather funny.

    That balloon sequence is pretty unnecessary, likely because it was mostly Riley's episode, and then it tried to make it more. But at the same time, a lot of schools do that sort of thing.

    I really liked the tag scene, up until Maya changed the channel. Sure Topanga told Riley earlier that she'd ask her Income Tax Lawyer Friend Leonard (ten bucks says it's that Spinelli guy in another new job) to look in to the family's returns, but c'mon. But that's a relatively minor quibble.

    It's not a great episode by any means, but it's not quite as unsatisfactory as "Great Lady of New York." I just hope the message sticks.

    1. Cryptid456-"The Auggie B-plot was actually pretty good. It took up no time whatsoever. It was rather funny. "
      This is the best way to use Auggie. I would much rather a short scene or two of him at home. Having two school plots worked well. Maybe they should do more of that in the future, and less Auggie/Ava. It lets them have a subplot with all of the characters together.

  2. Sean, I'm not going to even fucking bother watching this episode. I haven't even watched Lady of New York. Your reviews are far more entertaining.

    If I want to watch some whiny brat piss and moan about people not liking her, I'll watch the Weekenders or Recess.

    Someone give me a reason to keep watching this piece of shit show when I have The West Wing calling my name.

    1. Brother, since when do you watch West Wing?

    2. Hey, Sean and I like The West Wing! I PARTICULARLY do.

      I also really like Weekenders, starring our friend Jason Marsden.

    3. Hey, don't get me wrong, I LOVED the Weekenders. And I respect the West Wing as one of the more notable political dramas.

      But since Mike and I usually watch the same shows, this just came as a bit of a surprise.

    4. you have to watch it. you have to watch every episode or this was all a waste of time. stay strong

  3. Sean, I certainly hope you didn't buy a bottle of that bottom shelf swill you have pictured. Life's to short to buy from the bottom shelf.

    I'm 2 commercial breaks into this episode, and I can't believe Riley is basically throwing a tantrum about the fact someone doesn't like her. She's 15-16 years old, and can't stop bitching about it. No wait....I can believe it. Because for some reason, they want Riley to be this immature. I don't know why, but this is the course she's on. Ugh.

    And now I'm confused. This went from Riley's lamenting about someone not liking her into an episode about control. Why does this feel like they starting writing one script and got stuck, then inserted something else they were working on? I like the message, but it feels so disjointed from where they started.

    I'm with Sean regarding Farkle's apprehension regarding page 73. He was basically a rated G Glen Quagmire with the way he was at Maya and Riley's heels, yet a picture of..whatever it was, and he's down on the floor.

    I ended up liking the B plot and the gym teacher. The B Plot was short and sweet, and the gym teacher delivered pretty well when he had to. When I was the kids age, the HS football coach taught us that stuff. And in middle school, they literally outsourced it to a middle aged woman who came and talked to us about all that from grades 6-8. I'm not joking.

    And Topanga got an entire family thrown in jail. Yeah, because that's subtle. And the writers wonder why they might not get a Season 4.

    All in all, it was an ok episode that confused itself to the detriment of everyone.

    Episode Grade: C. Absolutely should have been called Girl Meets Control. This is a mess because the writers made it a mess.

    Episode MVP: Cecilia Balgot. Come on, the prolonged censored scene is the best thing about this episode. And she was also really funny, again. This show could use more of her.

    1. I don't know about that "rated G Glen Quagmire" mostly because I have no clue what that reference means.

      But I remember a scene from the Sandlot, where Narrator Smalls mentioned how the boys all lied through their teeth about the Playboys they read.

      So, I suppose I can buy Farkle fainting. But I'll only buy it if it's on sale.

      The censored scene was the funniest in this episode--even though I doubt it's anything but a more descriptive version of the Cliff Notes Talk Cory gave way back when HE had health class.

      But Isadora also flirted with Friar a fair bit in this episode...which really sucks.
      As for Riley's behavior, I agree it's tiring, and having had night to sleep on it, I don't particularly like it but at the same time...I guess I can buy Riley being upset that this girl just doesn't like her for the heck of it.

      As for why the writers--I'm thinking that they're using Riley as more or less the Audience Surrogate, so her characterization changes at the drop of a hat.

      It;s annoying--but it's actually reminiscent of "Good Luck Charlie," Disney's last slice-of-life show also had a main character that changed into anything the writers needed her to be.

    2. Cryptid - pwfan is referring to Glenn Quagmire from Family Guy. Quagmire is the ultimate hypersexual and will literally sleep with anything. In one episode, to celebrate his 1,000th sexual conquest, he had sex with a large mouthed bass. He's the most perverted character on the show. I only say this because I'm assuming you've never watched Family Guy before.

      So yeah, Farkle used to be a much, much, much more toned-down version of Quagmire with how much he went after Riley and Maya. But I guess now, his character has changed to the point that he can't look at carpet..........;)

    3. I am very proud of drinking Skol and I will shout it from the rooftops. 40% is 40% no matter what you paid for it.

    4. Mike, I don't think its the carpet that's causing Farkle problems.

      While true Sean, the quality of that 40% can be debated. Now, I can't say I'm the biggest vodka guy either.

      Cryptid, at least with Teddy Duncan, she had a more reasonably defined character. Riley doesn't have that outside of being an overly optimistic, bubbly girl. Who also maybe takes life too hard sometimes. I can buy the audience surrogate argument, but like you said above, on clearance.

    5. Oh yeah...Quagmire...never seen Family Guy. Never seen South Park. Seen maybe two episodes of Cleveland Show or American Dad.

      I think I do believe that Riley's lack of consistency is due to the writers essentially using her as audience surrogate. They change her as needed for the episode.

      It may even tie back into Disney Channel not being fond of serialization--one of their animated series had the rug pulled out from it, when the network insisted on it not being serial. It's not a stretch to think similar rules could be in place for their live-action shows.

    6. pwfan - HA.

      Cryptid - American Dad is brilliant. It's like what Family Guy would be like if it stopped smoking crack and went to rehab. FG hasn't been good in years, South Park is still pretty entertaining, and I haven't seen much of The Cleveland Show after season one. I remember it being pretty boring but I liked the hurricane episode.

    7. Roger the Alien is one the best characters on tv

    8. See, Uncle Sean gets it.

      One of my favorite Roger lines is from the Christmas episode where Stan has to kill the Antichrist to get back into his church: "That punch, that punch right there, that's the punch where everything went black and I was finally able to achieve orgasm."

    9. Good grief, that's quite a lot of material to process.

      Is it wrong for my favorite cartoon to still be Avatar: The Last Airbender?

    10. I've never been super into Avatar and haven't seen every episode, but it's definitely in a league of its own and there's nothing wrong with it being your favorite cartoon. It was so good, it beat SpongeBob in 2008 for Favorite Cartoon. That's when you knew it had a serious fanbase.

  4. I really liked the past three episodes. "Great Lady" was a little meh, but nowhere near the level of soul-crushing awfulness as something like "Ski Lodge." It's like someone flipped a switch and all of a sudden, this show knows how to be entertaining again, especially Maya. She's been killing it all season when she hasn't dealt with angsty, emotional BS.

    I'll still check it out, but this doesn't sound promising.

  5. The filler/"non Triangle" episodes this season were all more entertaining than the show's ever been. Jexica, Permanent Record, Real World, Bear. Great Lady and She Don't Like Me were definitely the weakest so far.. but hey, it's progress from Rah Rah, Belief, Money, STEM... I feel like the show's been less "try-hard" recently.

    I wish they didn't put a censor over Smackle. At least make her choice of words childish. Putting a beep just tells you it's a Disney Channel show.

    I'd say Topanga has been served justice this season. She's had a lot of funny moments without Auggie. Sean, I interpreted Topanga going crazy over the new girl as her being an overprotective mother. You're right though--Topanga would probably not give a f about someone who doesn't like her.

    You guys think the plot is disjointed? The description of the episode was literally: Riley tries to make new friends in high school; the kids learn a new lesson in health class.

    On a sidenote: I.. kind of ship Riley with that new girl? That ending scene and the girl's smile... Sorry, it was a long week.

    1. "The filler/"non Triangle" episodes this season were all more entertaining than the show's ever been. Jexica, Permanent Record, Real World, Bear. Great Lady and She Don't Like Me were definitely the weakest so far.. "

      Wow, you have a markedly different take than Sean and I.

    2. Welp, can't control everything.

      I'm kidding

    3. I think Jet meant to say that of the filler this season, "Great Lady" and "She Don't Like Me" were the weakest.

      You can't exactly consider anything with Shawn in it filler, even if "I Do" isn't quite as plot-continuing as his previous appearances.

  6. I agree. Farkle should not have been the the one who fainted. He prides himself on being a scientist. He should have been the only character other than Smackle not to get giggly and disgusted. His line should have been something like "It's biology. It's basic reproduction, necessary for the continuation of the species."

    I liked the subplot with the coach. He had a good lesson to teach in the end.

    I understand why Cory is cringing. It's his daughter. He doesn't want to think of her that way. It was fine for him, but not his little girl. It's like in "Gone With the Wind." Rhett says "With enough courage, you can do without a reputation," but after Bonnie, talks about how we wants her to be received in the finest homes throughout the South.

    I thought Riley's plot was okay, but I wish she wasn't the only one to learn the lesson. Have other characters dealing with things they can't control. It would have made the final scene so much better.

    1. Yeah, man. Can you imagine TEACHING a class that involves you daughter and her "boyfriend" about the body and reproduction?
      L-O-V-E-D Coach Vinetti's (is that a thing now? Are we calling him that?) "...way down the line. PLEASE" when talking about them making "more of themselves".

    2. That's a good point Kit. I think this episode would have worked a bit better if there had been a bit more of the entire group dealing with similar problems.

      I especially think there could have been something for Isadora to do here. While the health class bits were good, I'd like to have seen her do a bit more--maybe emphasize that academic success is one of the few things she does feel in control of.

    3. Yeah, I have to say, that though Cory as a teen may have been all about exploring the body, it's different when he's an adult at all, and especially different when talking to his daughter. And he's been overly suspicious about Lucas in regards to that way before Lucas and Riley was actually a thing. I actually liked the parts of the episode involving health class.

      And yeah, there's no way Topanga cared about what other people thought of her. She got to a point where she cared what her friends thought of her, but if someone didn't like her? She wouldn't have been concerned.

      Farkle should not have been the one to faint. I could have seen Riley or even Zay. Possibly even Lucas. And Smackle's flirting with Lucas is getting insanely bad. It is actually having me want to smack her. Whilst the blown kiss to Farkle having him hand over Farkle Time was cool; I don't buy that Farkle could just relent like that with her going on, and on, and on about Lucas.

      I actually wish the girl did not have that smile when Riley had that thing with her at the end. It kind of weakened the message. Now it was saying "if you are nice enough, everyone will relent and be friends".

      And hated the fact that Topanga really did apparently talk to the tax lawyer at her office. On the first watch, I thought this was her making a clearly out-of-line suggestion, backed up by Topanga then stating that you can't control things; but then apparently she did and got her parents, at the least, sent to prison?

    4. Did we watch the same episode? It wasn't Cory having trouble teaching, I could at least understand what you guys are saying if he had had trouble saying a bunch of sex stuff to his daughter (even though thats like, part of being a parent.) But Cory had trouble just LISTENING to it. He's cringing listening to someone else talk about sex or bodies or whatever. That doesn't make sense to me.

    5. Correction: He's cringing listening to a 13-14 year old girl describing sex to the class. That might have something to do with it.

    6. And based on the bleeping, it doesn't seem like she's being very "delicate" about the subject, either.

    7. And based on the bleeping, it doesn't seem like she's being very "delicate" about the subject, either.

    8. You never know--Cory gave a concise summary of what human reproduction was way back in I think it was Season 2, and he wasn't even thirteen yet.

      Isadora, being around fourteen or fifteen, likely gave something similar, only...more Smackley. An entirely scientific, extremely detailed summary of the entire human reproduction system, including all the stuff Cory left out way back when.

    9. Cryptid, "you never know" is right on the money. What made the scene funny was the faux censorship, combined with the reactions, leaving us only to imagine what she might have said. Her hand gestures and zeal didn't seem especially clinical, but it could have been all-too clinical.

  7. I'll take it from the POV of having a son only a touch younger than Riley. I find it intensely uncomfortable talking about the blatant stuff to him.

    I may have to rewatch it; but I thought all his cringing was hearing Riley talk about it. If he's really being uncomfortable about -anyone- else talk about it - yeah, that makes no sense. Even ignoring it from the perspective of BMW, he's had two kids so he's clearly not -that- uncomfortable.

    1. Yeah I just checked, Cory's enormous cringe comes from Smackle's censored explanation.

    2. Yeah, I'll own up to being wrong on this one. He should have just stopped her talking as her teacher; except he's apparently uncomfortable with the subject matter. In both series, there have been hints varying from subtle to blatant to suggest he's not though. Oh well.

  8. New Tweet from the Writers:

    "Next: What if the Window was locked?"

    All things considered, the World of Terror 3 covering various "What ifs?" is actually pretty decent an idea. And seeing as Riley and Maya spend so much time together, their growth is stunted, I'm actually a little intrigued.

  9. Like every sitcom that ever had a health class scene, somebody has to faint. Here it's Farkle. I'm sure the people who love Farkle will think it's great, and that's great, but I think it's dumb. He was a hormone monster for like a year and a half, but a scientific diagram of a vagina is making him lose consciousness? This guy has probably seen more porn in his life than you or I would dare to dream of. I don't buy it.

    That intense cuddle session between Riley and Maya really makes it hard for me to not ship them. I know one of you guys mentioned that you could see them as a couple (in the Jexica review, I think?) and this just proves it even more IMO.

    That aside, this just was an alright episode, nothing spectacular and not among my favorites this season by any means. I'm in the same boat as Sean because the episode title wasn't really fitting. I went into this episode expecting it to be all about Riley trying to make friends (well, more than one friend) but instead it was about health class, some random gym teacher and Farkle fainting at page 73. Ugh, I've seen that "letting go ceremony" with the balloons so much in sitcoms, it's a tired cliché I wish they didn't use. Also, Smackle's bleeped explanation didn't feel very GMW-ish, that was strange. Finally, continuity returns with the return of Mr. Googly after god knows how long!

    Oh, and I'm surprised you didn't mention it was a callback to Girl Meets the New World where Farkle expresses similar confusion over a page in the health book. That was old, hormone-infused Farkle too!

    Hope you get well soon, Sean! Being sick is ass.

  10. Lol oops, I didn't mean to submit that first paragraph above, I had copypasted it from your review to save it to my notes since it made me laugh! Ignore that.

    1. i mean this in the nicest way possible, what notes? that sounds like an interesting thing

    2. Well in reality I actually just typed that comment in a Pastebin and had put that paragraph above it to show my friend later, and I accidentally pressed Ctrl+A instead of just copying the actual comment. That's all. There's not really any "notes" involved, not sure why I said that.

  11. Smackle time is best time! I love that she needs censored and I love this is second time (the first being when she Farkle stopped her from say WTF but literally) she needed to be! Girl is a bag of hormones and she's so fun when she really gets to let loose.

  12. Ratings are in - 1.7 million views. That beat the season 4 premiere of Liv & Maddie (though I didn't bother to find out by how much).

    I would expect a dive for the World of Terror episode which is next. Although I have heard from folks at the live taping that it is pretty good, the track record on GMW's Halloween episodes is pretty bad, so I can't imagine a large audience.

  13. Christian, I just stumbled upon posts of yours on The Weekenders iMDB message board from 2003. It is a small world, sir

    1. this is very very embarrassing for you Christian

    2. Huh, I'd have thought the board would have been reset by now.

    3. Sheesh, how old was he back then? Like early teens?

    4. I'm feeling good about it. This is what I said, I just looked it up:

      "My favorite character was always Tino and continues to be Tino. But it used to be that my second favorite character was Tish and my least favorite character was Carver.

      I saw it again recently and realized that Carver's absolutely hilarious and I don't know what my problem with him could have been. I also realized that Tish could be really irritating and most of the time the group had conflicts it was because of her being bratty and annoying."

      This is SOUND judgement. I agree with all this, me-of-the-past.

    5. Thinking objectively, of the four kids, my favorite is probably Tino. I've grown to appreciate Lor as well.

      Carver is, I agree, absolutely hilarious--what would you say is his best joke? When he raged against the heavens when the Pizza Computer jammed? "Curse you, Modern Technology! Curse you!"

      I wouldn't say that Tish's...Tishiness was the cause of MOST of the conflicts--though there are certainly a fair few.

      Also, let's all raise a glass (of organic wheat-grass juice) to Tino's mother--one of the best parents in all slice-of-life Western Animation.

    6. Honestly all of the kids had their moments of brattiness or immaturity that cause conflict within the group. That's why it was such good show. All of the character's were equally but uniquely flawed.

      Also yes, Tino is my fav cause sarcasm for the WIN.

  14. Hi Christian,

    Good points in your review, especially about how there have been people who didn't like Riley is the past. Good grief, why didn't we have Bradford to be a semi-recurring antagonist? I know the actress got cast in that "Kirby Buckets" show on Disney XD, but still--the character itself was still good.

    According to one source, apparently that Girl Who Doesn't Like Riley is named "Chai." Which is the Hebrew word for "life." It'd work better if we saw this Girl more often.

    And as for Friar--like I said last week to Will:

    Friar has no interest whatsoever in day-to-day, boyfriend-girlfriend interactions. He said he wanted Riley to only talk about "important things" with him, and that when there are school dances, they'll go together, with no fanfare.

    What was not present was any sort of "Riley, I want to hold your hand. And I want to write you little love notes. And I want to sit next to you at every moment possible. And I want to go on walks together."

    So...they're "dating," but Friar is the worst boyfriend in the history of forever.

    1. Yeah, the girl not liking Riley was weird. Riley would not have gotten that fussed over someone not liking her. She's had full-on bullies, and yet some girl just not liking her bugs her? She doesn't even hate her; she doesn't appear to want to go out of her way to make her life miserable. She just doesn't like her.

      I don't know if he's the worst boyfriend. He doesn't treat her badly, exactly. He just doesn't treat her any differently than when they were just friends. Maybe the worst boyfriend on a kids show...

      But yeah, after 2 years of rooting for Lucas to be better, to prove people wrong, he gets the girl and.. now I hate him. For all my grievances of Cory/Topanga on BMW, at least there was never any doubting whether they were dating or not...

    2. Oh, I should note that although he is far and away my least favorite character on this show, much of what I voiced here is actually hyperbolic. But considering Friar was treated as a Disney Prince for ages when he did nothing whatsoever to deserve such praise, over-the-top hatred is responding in kind.

      I stand by my statement about him not actually being interested in regular day-to-day boyfriend/girlfriend interactions though.

      And I haven't forgotten how Friar snapped at Riley in "Ski Lodge," and got off scot-free without having to apologize.

      Of course, motivations for dislike are a thing, I guess. Riley actually said "Why doesn't she like me? What did I do to her to make her not like me?"

      Previously, we had Missy, who seemed to dislike Riley for acting like a kid and Missy wanted to date Friar herself--there was a clear reason for her actions.

      The bully, similarly, said she didn't like Riley's perkiness and "that [Riley] got in the way of where [she] was looking."

      But Chai (might as well call her something) hasn't interacted with Riley at all, and decided to be a meany.

      But it doesn't really work, because we didn't see Riley actively try to make friends with Chai.

    3. Oh I totally agree that Friar is pretty crummy as a boyfriend, or even, in some ways, a friend.

      The thing is though, that Chai doesn't seem to actually -dislike- her, not really. Just... not like her.

  15. I'm really starting to wonder at this point why Disney decided to stick with this "Girl Meets" episode name format for all of their episodes, because Girl Meets She Don't Like Me is such an awkward and grammatically incorrect title. But I know several other shows of theirs follow the same universal episode name format (Liv and Maddie having the "a-Rooney" slapped at the end of every title) so maybe it's just something Disney likes to do.

    1. Yeah, I've commented on it before. It's not just Disney, though they are one of the worst examples of it. But a lot of shows do have this episode format of it being the same every episode basically. I've always preferred the sly references to culture, whether popular culture or literature or what-have-you.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. Part of the problem is "Girl Meets..." doesn't flow very well.

      For comparison, the Disney show Best Friends Whenever usually has episode titles start with "A Time To..." which suits a time-travel show, even if the show sucks.

    4. Every Liv & Maddie episode is named "XXXXXX-A-Rooney". Rooney is their last name.

      Truthfully I have no issues with how GMW's episodes are named. For this particular episode "She Don't Like Me' flows a little better than "Girls Meets Control Freak", even if that would have been a more fitting title based upon the subject matter.

    5. Well, I can live with how their episodes are named; it's just not my favourite. And yeah, I do think a lot of the time it doesn't flow very well. Occasionally it has, but not enough that I like a whole naming structure based around it.

  16. i liked how boy meets world named their episode they only did boy meets in the title for two episodes boy meets girl and boy meets real world

    1. Yeah, a lot of their episode names were the kind I liked; sly little digs. A word or two different from a phrase, or the name of something that everyone should know.

  17. Maybe whisky affects a sense of humour differently than does vodka, but I thought this episode was really funny.

    1. maaaaaaaaaaaaan I wish I knew anything about whiskey. that's classy. you're so classy milestones. I tried to drink some crown royal once but I couldn't even finish it :(

    2. Hi Milestones,

      Can't comment on vodka or whiskey one way or the other, and I got to get to work soon, so I can't stay and chat as much as I'd like, but I agree. This one was actually quite funny.

    3. That's me all right: nothing says “class” like high-maintenance poser drinking whilst watching the Disney Channel.

    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    5. Hey Cryptid, no problem. I will watch again, re-read the review and comments, post something and maybe we can chat another time.

      I did want to say that if I had any doubts about whether Bear’s resemblance to a Community episode was deliberate, Isadora’s variation on the “Hector the Well-Endowed and the Elf Maiden” scene from Advanced Dungeons and Dragons ended them. Not that I object at all. But, if they are going to do that, maybe steal one of Abed’s disorder-based riffs for Isadora to bring some context when she is doing her terrible-girlfriend shtick.

    6. Uh, Milestones? Isadora wasn't in "Girl Meets Bear."

      But I look forward to discussion nevertheless.

    7. To be sure, Cryptid. All I meant was that Isadora's scene in She Don't Like Me was so clearly inspired by a scene on one episode of Community that it confirmed for me that I wasn't just imagining things to see another episode of Community as the blueprint for Bear. And since they are lifting from that source anyway, maybe they could some other available stuff somewhere along the line to inform Isadora's behaviour.

    8. Well that settles it then--Mike and I have definitely got to watch Community.

      If memory serves, Blake Clark was in an episode right? Splendid.

      Also, I think Isadora's behavior is going to be addressed eventually...but not any time soon.

    9. "I wish I knew anything about whiskey." Why? You'd just buy some 11.99 bottle on the bottom shelf. OHHHHHHHH!

    10. Blake Clark is in an EXCELLENT episode of Community, yeah.

      No I can't afford the 11.99 bottle. Lemme get that 6 dollar one behind the checkout counter

    11. Cryptid, Sean is right, that's an excellent episode. If you guys do watch the series, be aware that Season 4 is a non-cannon impostor.

      About this episode, I'm still where I started. It was really funny, the amount of time it spent annoying was less than usual, and it's hard to see it as other than a success. I'm usually not surprised when I like an episode more than most of those assembled here. But I was in the case.

      For most of stuff people had issue with, I can see a workaround, and even if not, I probably wouldn't be bothered by it anyway, especially if they were just doing a bit to get a laugh.

      I steadfastly refuse to be troubled by GMW not showing us relationshipy Riley and Lucas.

      The business with the balloons was on the lame side, but had a funny moment or two, like Isadora's dissonant note as everyone else was simultaneously offering halfhearted reassurance to Riley.

      It was a really low bar, and wasn't cleared by much, but that seems like them most use we've had out of Farkle this season.

      I too think that might the best from Auggie. I really liked when he realized he had made a huge mistake not including Maya in his assignment.

    12. In regards to Lucas/Riley, for me it depends. Whilst I don't like the idea of them as a couple, to absolutely refuse to show them being a couple makes this whole triangle arc...pointless. Unless, and I know Cryptid and I have discussed this before, it's deliberately showing that maybe Lucas isn't the perfect guy he's been portrayed as.

      As for Auggie making a mistake... it was amusing. Though Maya's never really spent time with him specifically, and has never really seemed to care, so I think his panicking wasn't necessary.

    13. Seeing as I have negative-infinity interest in seeing Friar succeed at anything in any way, shape, or form, I have no issue with he and Riley not having many "boyfriend-girlfriend" scenes, especially since, by his own admittance, he has no interest in such matters in the first place.

      Unfortunately, we're not seeing Friar and Riley's relationship, such that it is, being contrasted against another teen couple's. Isadora and Farkle have been dating for a year, but we rarely see them act as such--even though there are a fair few potential storylines that could concern them being a foil to their friends.

      Both Farkle and Isadora have been seriously underused this season.

    14. If I had to guess, my guess would be that the GMW folks didn't intend the point of the Triangle to be about whatever teen romance came out of its resolution. The subject doesn't seem to interest them.

      That said, I'm with Cryptid about Farkle and Isadora.

      Looks like I am going to be a week, at least, behind you guys for the duration, limiting my ability to class the place up.

    15. Actually, Milestones, the new episode isn't due to air until next Friday, the 14th.

      This week, there's a new movie--a Freaky Friday set-up with a set of siblings, a gymnast and a hockey player.

      So we won't see this new episode for a while yet.

  18. New Tweet from the Writers:

    "World of Terror 3: People don't change people."

  19. In case you were wondering, the kid who played Charlie Gardner is now on the ABC show, "Designated Survivor".

    1. hey good for him! he deserves it

    2. As a super big fan of Designated Survivor, I can say that Tanner Buchanan is by far the worst part of the show.

    3. I agree wholeheartedly Mike. Nothing redeemable about the character so far, and Tanner is not a great actor either, which almost by accident helps him being a POS on the show.

  20. I tend to lean toward tequila myself, because nothing makes consuming burning garbage with my eyes more tolerable than a few highly concentrated margaritas.

  21. literally will friedleOctober 8, 2016 at 2:07 AM

    Huh. I don't know why I remembered that this was a thing, but OH WELL. IT HAPPENED. I kept meaning to catch up with this series so I could catch up on the reviews and comment on them, but then like two full seasons went by D:

    anyway if you start seeing comments on older reviews it's probably just me shouting into a vacuum so whatever

    also sean you want to know about whiskey whatchu wanna know fam i'll hook you up i know SHITLOADS about like ALL TYPES of WHISKEY

    (five bucks says you don't remember me [which will break my heart ;_; but at least I'll get five bucks])

    1. I remember you, Literally. If memory serves, the last time you were here, it was "Master Plan" wasn't it?

      Quite a bit has changed since then. In any case, welcome back to the family. I peak at the old reviews occasionally, but don't comment, but I'll keep my eyes peeled.

  22. @GMWWriters
    Friday: No Rilaya no Rucas no Lucaya. Only Avoy.
    Next: The mother-daughter fight of the century.
    Soon: World Meets Girl.

    1. Hey pwfan, thanks for the heas-up.

      Next is World of Terror 3, which can't be nearly as bad as last year's so there's that.


      Dear God in that Ava and Doy?

      I'm looking forward to "the mother-daughter fight of the century." I know almost nothing beyond Danielle wrote and directed the episode. Will Friedle gave us the best Eric, so I'm betting we're going to get the best Topanga we've seen in a very long time.

      World Meets Girl?

      We'll see.

    2. "Dear God in that Ava and Doy?"

      The greatest fear I never knew I had....has just been realized.

    3. if the title "World of Terror 3" wasn't sufficiently unpromising. At least I have an extra week to prepare myself for this.

    4. Oh, hi Milestones.

      How was your Thanksgiving?

    5. Hi Cryptid, it was okay. I've been under the weather the last few days and was the most unwell on Monday. But, I went over the friend's place on Sunday, and had dinner and watched a baseball game with a few people. It was a good time, and it turned out I will have to continue being a baseball fan for at least a little while longer.

      How was Columbus Day (or Indigenous Peoples' Day, if you prefer, but I'm guessing you don't prefer)?

    6. Sorry to hear you're feeling sick, Milestones. Wait a second, who are you rooting for in baseball? Our beloved Red Sox were swept by Cleveland.

      Growing up in California, Mike and I never had that particular day off. It when we moved East that we got to experience it, and it never left an impact.

      Speaking of the day in itself, it was enjoyable. Our best friend was celebrating his birthday, so we all saw "Sully" together and then had lunch at Chipotle.

      Also, I despise Columbus, and would have no problem whatsoever switching the lineage of the holiday.

    7. Hi Cryptid, the Jays, which apparently has become a patriotic duty, though following baseball and rooting for a team from Toronto do not come naturally for me. Maybe they can beat Cleveland for you.

      When I learned about Columbus, any reevaluations would have been based on the then fairly recent L'Anse aux Meadows discoveries. It's possible my teacher said something unflattering about him or the event beyond that, but my only reliable memory about the topic is of a cartoon that used to cycle through on the old Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner show.

      I remember you mentioning yours and Mike's birthday last year. Did that happen already this year?

    8. Yeah, that was back in September. We went out to dinner with our parents.

      On the subject on explorers, I actually took a college course that was more or less on the Northwest Passage, and the exploration of the northern regions of the New World.
      I learned a fair bit about the early settlements in Canada--Cartier and Cabot are two names I remember in particular.

  23. Latest tweet is the order of the remaining episodes:

    Girl Meets Writers ‏@GMWWriters · 2 hours ago

    Girl Meets:
    World Of Terror 3
    Her Monster
    A Christmas Maya
    World Meets Girl
    Sweet 16

    My guess is 2 in November, Christmas Maya in December, 2 in January and the finale in February.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. That hypothetical timeline sounds about right.

      I know that this season is 21 episodes, and therefore nine episodes shorter than Season 2, but it still feels like we've rushed through this much so that it hasn't felt like much of a journey.

    3. What went wrong? Well, High School did not need to be 2 parts for starters. Then the show continued with a strong Jexica/Permanent Record. Then a good chunk of the season is wasted on the damn triangle that DID end with a couple declaring their love, a couple that shows no sign of being a couple ever since? And here we are, like you said, feeling like the season was so short.

    4. They also haven't had as many gaps between episodes this season.

      Couples on this show are weird. Riley and Lucas are supposedly a couple, but we see no signs of it. Farkle and Isadora are, and though we see signs of it... she also fairly frequently flirts with Lucas to a point beyond being funny now. And Maya and Zay seemed to be moving in that direction but again no signs of it. Yeah, I know there are explanations why but... well, it would be better if they just weren't couples.

  24. Schedule for November has been released by Disney on Twitter:

    Disney Channel Promo ‏@disney_promo · 3 hours ago

    Girl Meets World: November 2016
    • 11/04 - Girl Meets Her Monster
    • 11/25 - Girl Meets Hollywood

    The name "Hollywood" might be a typo, as Jacobs own tweet as well as folks from the taping reported the name as "Hollyworld", or it could be Disney changed the name of an episode again.

    "Her Monster" was written and directed by Danielle Fishel. We finally get some quality mother/daughter interaction, although it isn't all good.

    1. ""Her Monster" was written and directed by Danielle Fishel. We finally get some quality mother/daughter interaction, although it isn't all good."

      That's even better in my opinion. Some of Alan's strongest scenes were when he was at odds with Cory or Eric. I've been looking forward to this one for months.

  25. I just saw your blog entry. My niece Alyssa Jirrels played Chai in this episode. I have passed on to her your nice comment about her charisma. You can see Alyssa next playing a character named Veracity in an episode of Disney's Mech X4 which will air in April. She will be a regular in season 2 of Mech X4 which just finished filming.