Episode Review: "Girl Meets Rileytown" (#2.17)

I've been rewatching Mad Men today, so I'm afraid I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Subtlety, wit... the absence of punchlines and live audiences. Yet now I must transition, as from the Louvre to mud art at the dawn of man, from Johnny Walker to trailer park backyard moonshine. That is to say, in the latter cases, they've done the best they can, given their environments, but... it's still hard to enjoy it. 

"Cyberbullying" is an annoying topic because there's a strike force of loud people ready to carpet bomb you no matter what your opinion is. On the other hand, I'm not going to tread lightly on my own blog. So here it is. I don't buy it. Bullying is real as fuck and it's terrible. I've dealt with it myself. Girl Meets Flaws was fine. But like... maybe when Riley gets a text, and sees that it's from this bully... maybe just don't read it. 


Maybe you just don't read it. 

So I'm not down with the premise. Let's look at the execution. Similar to 3% of executions in the United States, it didn't work. The first half of the episode is misdirection. I'm glad I read a plot summary beforehand, otherwise I would have spent ten minutes trying to yell at Riley through my television. It's terrible design. They tried to set up this "Riley's acting irratio- ohhhhhhhhhhh" revelation when we learn what's going on, but it takes way too long to get there. 

Even when the big "We want an Emmy" tear-soaked reveal scene arrives at the Bay Window, we still have no information. We're forced to take Riley at her word that she's been treated horribly. It's not that I doubt her, but rather that it's impossible to empathize. I don't care. I can't care, because I have no idea what's going on. Can you think of any way at all in which this isn't worse than "Back 2 School"? In that one, we saw how threatening Harley was, we saw the threats, we were fully aware of the danger Cory was in. 

Comparatively, I was aware of NOTHING in this episode. I hate to use this phrase because it's so overused and oversimplified, but "show don't tell." All this episode did was tell us that Riley's being bullied. And that does nothing for the viewer. THEY DIDN'T EVEN SHOW US THE BULLY. And you know what, that's at least an interesting decision. I admit, I was intrigued right away by the prospect of never seeing the bully. It shifts the focus onto the actions rather than the person, so you identify and recognize the actions in real life, rather than expecting a certain kind of person. That's smart, progressive thinking, and it would work, if we actually saw those actions. But we saw nothing. All we got was Riley reading one of the messages out loud, which, again, she really ought not to have read in the first place.

The ending makes enough sense that I can take a few deep breaths now. Riley is taking control of the situation away from The Bully, and showing that she's not embarrassed about who she is. That's great. But it's hard to get past what I call "protagonist privilege," the "Gather 'round everybody!" magical power that protagonists always have. "I know you're all going to miss the bus, but come watch Riley be weird to prove a point." It's hard to take seriously. 

Then again... they probably WOULD come to watch. Because everybody loves Riley. They all feed on the posturing of her romantic intrigues. They always show up to watch her shenanigans with her friends. And that leads into the ENORMOUS plot hole. EVERYONE IN THE SCHOOL KNOWS SHE'S WEIRD. And they love her for it. She's super popular. So how exactly is this video from this bully going to ruin Riley? Literally no one would care. It's not like in Meets Flaws where Farkle realistically annoys some people. No one on this show has a bad thing to say about Riley, and a video of her being goofy is not going to change that. She was a fundamentally unfit choice for the story they wanted to tell. 

If you can believe it, I do have some good things to say. "A bully isn't someone who says something you don't like." That may be the best lesson out of Cory all season. Elegant, timely, relevant.

 I liked the return of Angry Lucas. Hulkas. It's his one interesting characteristic. 

In the surprise of the century, Zay was my access point for the story. Like imagine you break your wrist, so the doctor cuts your arm off. It's not really what you wanted, but it solves the problem. Zay's first few lines in the classroom were typical. Other characters were conversing without him, so he inserts himself via punchline. Not a fan. But after that, he was the most laid back of the cast, seemingly unfazed by the cyberbullying, which is what I identified with. I thought for sure he'd offer some platitude about being bullied to Riley, but thankfully his own past didn't come up. So I don't know why he was in this episode but, amazingly, I was happy with him.

How many times can you have the line "We'll be there for you" in a single episode? Jesus Christ. 

I think that's enough for now. The episode isn't online yet so I don't have any pictures from it, sorry.

Well Christian said he can't write tonight, so I'll keep adding. What if we had started with The Bully sending out the video to everyone? THAT would be a strong start. We would immediately see that this person means business, that they're not just talk. We would have tangible evidence that someone wants to hurt Riley. I mean what was even the point of the misdirected anger at Maya? Was it all for the BIG REVELATION scene? It was a total waste of time that should have been spent showing us how this bully hurt Riley. 

The worst part of it all, is that the last two episodes contradict this one. At the end of Meets Farkle, everyone declared that they don't want to be normal. Yet in this episode Riley wants to be normal and unnoticed. In Meets Cory and Topanga, she embraces the weird/goofyness she inherited from her parents. But now because some nobody is texting her about it, she's suddenly not okay with it.

I should address "The Crying Scene" since enough people seemed to like it. Was it well acted? I don't even remember. It's so much less important to me than the content itself. They wanted emotional. I get that. But you don't need crying to be emotional. There's nothing wrong with crying, it's totally human, but there are better options. I'm going to copy something from my review of Wake Up Little Cory because it's one of my favorite Topanga moments and Anthony Tyler Quinn said it was a good review. For context, Cory is telling everyone that he had sex with Topanga, and now she's come over to tell Cory her feelings on that: 

I've gotta say, I really like how Topanga handles this situation. She's not crying or breaking down, she's just pissed. It's not "wahhh you ruined everything, how could you wahh", but rather "you are literal human filth, go to hell", you know what I mean? Anger is a much stronger emotion than sadness. Anger gives you motivation and energy and drive, while sadness just drains you. So yeah, I think it's the mark of a strong character to be angry instead of upset and I'm really glad they made that decision.

Hey everyone. How's it going?

So, I think I'll speak to some of the issues that seem to be more pressing for people right now, though, really I don't think this ought to be a forum for our personal opinions on the issues of the day. I happen to largely agree with Sean on the issue of bullying. I think there's an epidemic of treating kids like they're made of candy glass. Yes, kids get bullied all the time. Right now, it's mainly cyber bullied. 50 years ago, it was more traditional bullying. 50 years from now it'll be something else. Yeah, it sucks. When I was picked on, and it was mainly in middle school since that's seriously when kids are the absolute worst, I hated it. On occasions I cried about it, on occasions I stayed home from school to avoid it. I was a weird theatrical kid who was chubby, sucked at sports, liked anime, the whole nine yards and I was from a conservative sports-obsessed suburb. There was a lot of material there. But you know what? I toughed it out. I dealt with it. And I'm an infinitely stronger person for having to have toughed it out, because it prepared me for the even bigger, badder world out there. It also gave me the push I needed to fix some things that needed fixing, like my weight. Who knows if I'd have ever had the drive to do that without people needling me about it, or hot girls laughing in my face when I expressed interest in them. Bullying, in my opinion, is an important part of growing up. 

We're in an age where we're constantly inundated with programs, classes, teacher and parent intervention, ad campaigns, the world, beseeching us not to bully, and if you are bullied to speak up so it's stopped. This is an age of helicopter parents, and I think it's leading to a far weaker, more coddled society. 

Of course, there's instances where bullying goes too far. Sean was completely dismissive of cyberbullying on the whole, when the major issue of cyberbullying is that it's not just someone texting you insulting things. That actually was really weird, and probably doesn't even constitute cyberbullying, though there was a threat of it. (Also, who is this bully that she and Riley have exchanged numbers? Are they friends? But I'll get to the bully in a second) Cyberbullying is usually on social media, where the whole world can see it and it's there forever.  Someone calling you something in the hallways, or even someone shoving you into a locker, is going to fade pretty quickly, on the other hand. So, that's some of the major danger there. 

And I think that's what we need to be cognizant of. There's actual really horrific situations that go far beyond normal bullying that absolutely do need intervention. It's the kind of horrible stories you read about that eventually lead to the victim committing suicide. But that's not what 99.9% of kids are dealing with, and it's certainly not what Riley was dealing with. So I just think we as a society need to take all these training wheels and elbow pads off and let these kids get some bumps and bruises. 

That's all I got on that.

For the rest of it, yeah, I mainly agree with Sean. So much so that I don't feel the need to go into strenuous detail. I get what they were trying to do with the offscreen, vague bully. Yes, now it could be anybody. Yes, when Riley was telling off the bully it was like she was telling off allllll bullies. I get it. And, sure, I suppose on some levels it's interesting. But it still doesn't keep it from being narratively weak. Like Sean, I was annoyed that we went through so much, including emotional cry-y climactic conversations, before we even had a clear picture of what was going on. I like Riley, seeing her cry is sad, and Rowan did a decent job with that, but none of this was earned because we hadn't actually seen the thing that happened to Riley. 

I'm not as down on crying as Sean is, I think, because I do think there's a lot of catharsis to be had there. Sometimes if things are absolutely shitty for me and I've been stressed and sad and dealing with it for a long time, there's something therapeutic about taking a moment when I'm alone (or with a very trusted friend who knows what's going on) and letting those emotions out. And it can be therapeutic to see a character cry over a situation, because there's catharsis to be had there too. But I can't have any catharsis until I know what's going on! Like "Girl Meets I am Farkle" it just felt a little lazy. They wanted to do a bully episode, but they didn't want to go through the whole trouble of, like, making a bully character and showing Riley getting bullied and all of that, so they just wrote a bunch of scenes where she was sad and talking about it.

And when we found out what was going on, finally, it was really weird. Though I do think we're too protective with kids about bullying, but there's nothing wrong with showing instances of it on TV to let kids know they're not alone and that there's good and bad ways to handle it. But, like in "Flaws", they handled it in a way that was so unbelievable that there's no benefit here. A kid who's being bullied can't watch this episode and be like "Yeah! I'll just do what Riley did!" they're going "Yeah, you guys don't understand this at all, thanks for nothing." 

First off, I don't know who would even do what Riley's bully did. Secretly video taping her doing secret weird stuff in the hall ways and then threatening to release the tape and expose her? Is she from TMZ? Who is this chick? I also agree that Riley was the wrong choice for this, because she does appear to be the most popular kid in school, and gets nothing but positive encouragement from everyone about her eccentricities, and always seems totally content with them. I just have trouble believing Riley, as established, would receive this and react this way. To the right, please find how I think she would have actually responded. It's just such a bizarre, unbelievable scenario. It just doesn't seem to be a big enough deal to engender this degree of angst in young Riles. Anyone who had this degree of shame about participating in an award ceremony for herself, would never have hosted one in the hallways of the school (over and over again) in the first place. 

Also we're 2 for 2 for episodes that think the way to really shut a bully down is to give a dramatic speech in front of everyone about how what they're doing is mean and they should stop it. Showing how much what they're doing is, frankly, working on you and effecting you (and despite Riley's public award ceremony's intention, she'd never have been doing this and needing all her friends' encouragement if she wasn't bothered by it) is a surefire way to get them to keep doing it. Yes, after this dramatic of gesture, probably the bully would have dropped the video thing, but she would have found something else. And the entire fucking school wouldn't have showed up to, like, have Riley's back. 

I agree that Boy Meets World handled bullying better. Cory just sort of dealt with it. Sure, teachers put a stop to bullying they actually saw happening, as they should, but Turner didn't then intervene and try to correct the problem forever. He didn't call everyone into his classroom so he could have a talk about how sensitive Cory is and how everyone should treat him with respect or anything. Cory mainly dealt with it on his own. And he didn't let it bother him that much, and Harley never changed (during high school) but Cory matured to such a degree that eventually people stopped hassling him. He didn't cry or whine or hide in the nurse's office. He handled it. That's the only thing you can do. Mostly ignore it, but stand up for yourself when you have to, and don't let it consume your life or define who you are. 

Okay, that's all I want to say about all of that. As for the rest of it. Yeah, very overwrought meh episode. Though I agree that Topanga's being very poorly utilized in this series (although I have a hunch Danielle doesn't care about this show as much as Michael and Ben and is cool to just stop by and collect her paycheck) I did like both Cory and Topanga in this, though Cory did lose control of his class big time in the beginning. They knew something was going on, but didn't know what, clearly wanted to step in and take care of it themselves but knew that wasn't the right thing to do. They were a good example of what parents should be - involved, but not hovering. Ben gave a good performance in this, for the little he got to do. 

I also agree Zay was much improved in this episode. He didn't bother me. I mean, I still didn't like him, he was still way too hammy. But he didn't bother me. And I liked his delivery of some of his jokes, like "In Texas, we call this a Wednesday." Rowan, Sabrina, and Corey were all great too. Peyton was... fine. It was kind of hard to buy his Hulk strength when it was mixed with his kind of blank facial expressions and delivery though.  I dunno who's getting MVP, but it probs won't be Peyton. Great performance, though, from August Maturo who really delivered a powerful - nah, he wasn't in this one either.

Last thing that comes to mind before I turn it back over to Sean, is that this episode did something interesting that I actually hoped might be what the episode would be about although I knew better. Riley points out how Maya, in fact, is a bully and it seems to throw Maya for a loop. Riley's right, though. Maya is a bully. She continuously insults and harasses everyone who isn't Riley, basically. Lucas has asked her to stop calling him names, she doesn't. She picks on Farkle all the time. Now, her friends know she loves them, and so they're not hurt by it, but it kind of seems like she's this caustic with everyone, and some people would not appreciate it. I think an episode where some NPC comes by and thinks of Maya as her bully without Maya even recognizing it and Maya's forced to think about how she treats people would be a good episode. Just saying.

Back to you, I think, Sean. Did I miss anything?

To be clear, I wasn't dismissing cyberbullying in general, just the way it was presented in this episode. I know you guys want to like this. So do I. I'm not here to shit on this show, we're not the Zero Punctuation of Girl Meets World. I want to love it. I want this to be a powerful, inspiring story about bullying. But it's not. Christian definitively ended the debate when he explained that anyone dealing with cyberbullying in real life would watch this episode and gain absolutely nothing. 

That's what it boils down to. Be honest. If you were being cyberbullied, and you watched this episode, how would it impact you? What did we learn? That if the entire school is at your beck and call, then you'll be okay? Riley learns that it's okay to be herself since all of her classmates are okay with it. No kid is going to identify with the ending of this episode.

Hulkas ripping the wood off was dumb, that goes without saying. It wasn't supposed to be taken seriously, but it was still silly. What I like is the notion that Lucas can become uncontrollably angry. Not so much the characteristic itself, just the fact that he has a unique characteristic that can influence his actions. Everyone on this show always does the right thing and the nice thing and the happy thing. Hulkas is sort of a curveball, and curveballs are good. I can already see Christian's response, "Eh, I don't think it's that great." I don't think it's that great either, but it is better than the total nothing Lucas is otherwise.

The Austin and Ally crossover looks bad. I'm not up in arms about it, but I'm not looking forward to writing about it. I saw a music video during a commercial break that was 10% the guy playing his guitar, 90% literally just footage of his fangirls going crazy. I hate Disney Channel so much. 

Grade: C-. A few brief moments of decency, some good ideas... But what I want to see is development. Did Riley actually change at all? Feels like she's exactly the same as she was at the end of every other episode this season. 

MVP: The girl with the glasses who gets to be in the same shot as Maya in the classroom. She's been an extra in almost every episode, more episodes than Zay or Yogi for sure, and I think she's pretty cool. She has a name but I don't know it.

Boy have I got a SURPRISE FOR YOU! That girl is named Sarah, and she's played by Sarah Carpenter. 

"Wait," you say. "Carpenter? But that's--"

Yep! That's Sabrina Carpenter's sister!

That's a bad impression of me. I liked it better before I knew. She's not as interesting without the mystery.

Truly there is no wonder left in the world. Speaking of Sarah though, maybe the only way we'd know her name is that Cory said all the other kids' names in this episode as like some big show of what a great teacher is. Congrats, you know the names of the kids in your class. That's not impressive. It shouldn't be treated like it's impressive! You're the worst teacher in the world! Hehehehehe. You made me laugh. You probably just, like, memorized those last night too. Still, "Your, like, math teacher helps you out with all this stuff, right? Relates algebra to whatever you got going on in your lives?" was funny. I'd rather that - a kind of shrugging admittance from Cory that he doesn't care about anybody but the foursome, than this implication that Cory's not the shitty teacher he is. 

I'd like anger being a signature trait of Lucas too. But, again, I need to SEE it. What we got here was a bunch of people going "Uh oh! Lucas is going to be so angry! We have to watch out for Lucas' signature anger! Better tie Lucas up because he's so angry! Nothing can hold back the might of Lucas' wrath!" Meanwhile Lucas looks and delivers his lines the same he always does. If he's angry, show me that. Besides him lazily prying himself free. I'm not saying he needs to yell and scream and have veins popping out of his eyes and go "LUCAS SMASH!" But something. Right now, it's an informed trait that I don't full buy. 

And, yes, Sean's right. We've gotten a lot of comments here (and on IMDb and other places) that seem to assume we're just haters who hate the show and why are we even watching? We care a lot about this show. We probably care about it more than any of you, because we're the ones who dedicate our time to running a blog about it. So, we're going to keep poking it with a stick. That's how we show our love. If we have high standards, it's because that's what Boy Meets World, at its best, engendered in us. Sean cited Mad Men above. Mad Men is the greatest TV show of the past 10 years, bar none. (Sorry Vince Gilligan, it's true.) I don't expect Girl Meets World to be as good as Mad Men, that would be unreasonable. I do expect it to be as good as Boy Meets World though. That is not unreasonable. It's the same damn people.

Episode Rating: C
Episode MVP: Yeah, sure, Rowan Blanchard. I didn't love her material, but Rowan did a good job. She's still only 13 years old. 

Next week's Halloween and shit. And fuck, in addition to this Austin and Ally crossover, we may have to review an episode of Best Friends Whenever too. Wheeeeeeeeeee.

I totally meant to address Maya, and a new comment just reminded me. I completely agree. That is all.