Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Character Battle Round 1 - Silver Division -CLOSED-



CONTESTANT #8: Jonathan Turner
Portrayed By: Anthony Tyler Quinn (1994-1997, 2015-present)
First Episode: "Back 2 School" (BMW: 2x01)
Latest Episode: "Girl Meets Creativity" (GMW: 2x14)
Signature Episode: "Home" (BMW: 2x22), "I Never Sang For My Legal Guardian" (BMW: 3x20), "Girl Meets the New Teacher" (GMW: 2x10)
Episode Count: 49 (with more to come, likely)
Claim to Fame: John Adams High English Teacher, Shawn's guardian
Occupation: New York City School Superintendent 
Approximate Age: Early 50s
Current Status: Living in New York
Strengths: Independent, Gutsy, Unconventional
Weaknesses: Occasionally dodges commitment, maybe a little reckless with the motorcycle


CONTESTANT #9: Harper Lee Burgess
Portrayed By: Tania Gunadi (2015-present?)
First Episode: "Girl Meets the New Teacher" (GMW: 2x10)
Latest Episode: "Girl Meets the New Teacher" (GMW: 2x10)
Signature Episode: "Girl Meets the New Teacher" (GMW: 2x10)
Episode Count: 1
Claim to Fame: Turner clone
Occupation: John Quincy Adams Junior High English Teacher
Approximate Age: 30ish
Current Status: Living in New York
Strengths: Independent, Gutsy, Unconventional
Weaknesses: Flaunts authority, tries too hard to be Jonathan Turner
Turner has defeated Harper with an absolutely savage 97% of votes against 3%.


CONTESTANT #10: "Janitor" Bud
Portrayed By: Bob Larkin (1994-1995)
First Episode: "Notorious" (BMW: 2x02)
Latest Episode: "Truth and Consequences" (BMW: 3x07)
Signature Episode: 
"Truth and Consequences" (BMW: 3x07)
Episode Count: 4
Claim to Fame: John Adams High janitor
Occupation: Former John Adams high janitor
Approximate Age: Gotta be 80s, by now
Current Status: Unknown
Strengths: Adept at the Janitor's curse
Weaknesses: Weird, Possible gambling addiction, Inattentive to his job


CONTESTANT #11: Harvey "Harley" Keiner
Portrayed By: Danny McNulty (1994-1995, 1995 again, 2014-present), Kenny Johnston (1995)
First Episode: "Back 2 School" (BMW: 2x01)
Latest Episode: "Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels Goes to Washington" (GMW: 2x09)
Signature Episode: "Sister Theresa" (BMW: 2x10), "Cyrano" (BMW:2x13), "Girl Meets Flaws" (GMW: 1x13)
Episode Count: 13
Claim to Fame: High school bully, Middle school janitor 
Occupation: Janitor at John Quincy Adams Junior High
Approximate Age: 40
Current Status: Living in New York
Strengths: Tough, Occasionally well-spoken, Nicer than he lets on
Weaknesses: Poorly educated, prone to violence

Harley has defeated Janitor Bud with 88% of votes against 12%.


CONTESTANT #12: Eli Williams
Portrayed By: Alex Desert (1995-1996)
First Episode: 
"My Best Friend's Girl" (BMW: 3x01)
Latest Episode: 
 "Brother Brother" (BMW: 3x22)
Signature Episode: 
"The Pink Flamingo Kid" (BMW: 3x17)
Episode Count: 16
Claim to Fame: John Adams High Film/Television Teacher, Turner's best friend
John Adams High Film/Television Teacher
Approximate Age: Early 50s
Current Status: Unknown
Strengths: Well-versed in the world of TV and journalism, wisecracking
Weaknesses: Had absolutely no business being a main cast member


CONTESTANT #13: Lila Bolander Feeny
Portrayed By: Bonnie Bartlett (1997-1999)
First Episode: "Leaning to Fly" (BMW: 4x22)
Latest Episode: "State of the Unions" (BMW: 6x22)
Signature Episode: "Everybody Loves Stuart" (6x07), "Bee True" (6x19)
Episode Count: 5
Claim to Fame: Dean of Pennbrook, Feeny's second wife 
Occupation: Dean of Pennbrook University (presumably retired)
Approximate Age: 80s
Current Status: Unknown, presumably living with Feeny in Philadelphia
Strengths: Perceptive, Spry for an old broad
Weaknesses: I mean, she married that Curtis douche

Eli Williams has defeated Dean Bolander! A very, very close run with 53% of votes going to Eli, leaving 47% for the Dean. 


  1. Loving these character profiles

  2. Gotta vote for Eli. Alex is appearing in one of Rowan's movies in the next year. I assume its only a matter of time before we see Eli in GMW. I'm sure they can make up some story to make it happen. Maybe at the end of season 4, that should be Cory and Topanga's 20th high school reunion. That would be a reasonable time to bring back a few members of the old crew, like Joey and Frankie.

    We really should see Bolander when we see Feeny at some point, seeing as how they are married in real life.

    1. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO a 20 year high school reunion, that never even crossed my mind. That should definitely happen during the series, that's the most exciting thing I've ever heard.

    2. Hand to god, I was just musing on a 20th year high school reunion episode myself and that it would be a good way to get Frankie and Joey back. You could also have Minkus up to something. I also thought that it might have been a nice opportunity to have introduced Angela - an excuse why they'd be in the same room without it being that Angela sought him out.

      But yeah, their 20th High School Reunion, if they stick with continuity, should be 2018. That's a long time to wait for some of these introductions. And old teachers don't usually go to those.

    3. I meant to say that it was just earlier today I was thinking of a 20th Reunion episode.

    4. They could even bring back Angela for an episode like that. Provided she and the producers have made up by then.

    5. When I first heard that Shawn and Minkus were going to reunite this season, I assumed it was because of their high school reunion.

    6. Shawn and Minkus are going to reunite this season? When? I hadn't heard that. I thought Shawn was only scheduled for one more episode, the one with Maya's Dad, which I certainly don't think is one Minkus is supposed to be in.

    7. Don't quote me, but I'm almost certain I read Shawn and Minkus were going to reunite. Originally I thought that would mean a reunion at the high school--at least thinking rationally, the likelihood of them having to rebuild that set is low, even if this were airing on ABC.

      Given that Minkus is actually going to be in /three/ episodes this season, rather than just one, that would indicate a potential storyline.
      I've thought for quite some time that Farkle's parents are going to actually divorce. IF they do that, Shawn may give some much needed advice for Minkus Jr.

    8. Took me a while to track down the writers quote on Minkus and Shawn -

      Are we sure Shawn is in Forgiveness, or is it possible that Stuart is in Forgiveness?

      So we are going to see them together. I assume they will have a disagreement over Stuart's wife. Or maybe they will both agree she is a demon. Isn't that what Cory called her?

    9. Shawn's definitely in Forgiveness, as far as we've heard, but we didn't definitively hear that he's *only* in that one coming up, it's just the only one we've heard about. By the same token, we don't know for sure that Minkus isn't in that one, it just seems like a lot would be going on for them to also cram Minkus in there.

    10. They would have to rebuild, like, the hallway set. I think High School Reunions usually take place in the gym (or at least, they do on TV) and we didn't see the John Adams gym much, so they could use any old gym set and dress it up and we wouldn't know.

    11. Wait, did we ever see the John Adams High Gym? We saw their beautiful hallway and the totally-not-the-same-set-just-shot-at-a-different-angle senior hallway. We saw classrooms that were reused as needed and Feeny's office and a janitor's closet. And the library. And the cafeteria. They could use the cafeteria--clear out the tables and it's an auditorium, more or less.

      Oh, wait. I think we saw the gym in the third season when Cory asked Topanga to be his girlfriend. Or was that the cafeteria?

      On the subject of Shawn and Minkus, I think it's very likely that he and Shawn, regardless of how they reuniite, will start bickering like eleven-year-olds again.

    12. I assume it appeared in "The Thrilla in Phila"?

    13. It did.

      And I don't know about your reunion, but we did ours at a country club. We all had jobs and could afford a nice place. Who wants to go back to a small, stinky gym? They could use any place for a reunion.

    14. I haven't had a reunion yet, but isn't the whole point, like, nostalgia? A lot of things can take place at a country club. Without a reunion, I may never be back in my high school again.

    15. Really, when you get down to it, a reunion can take place anywhere. It doesn't really matter where Cory and Topanga, Shawn and Stuart, Frankie and Eric (Joey's actor has stated he wants nothing to do with the show, if I recall correctly) have their reunion. It'd just be nice to see their dynamics again.

      More to the point, Shawn and Stuart are going to reunite. And odds are, it'll have to do with Jennifer Basset. And if Cory and Topanga are in the room when it happens, then it may be the most meta scene in the series so far.

      Makes me wonder what it'd have been like if Stuart and Farkle had gone up to Philadelphia to help dig up the time capsule. Can you imagine Farkle meeting Mr. Feeny for the first time?

  3. Mr. Turner: Because its obvious.

    Harley Keiner: Made Cory and Shawn's life miserable, but always made it entertaining.

    Dean Bolander: Her report with Feeny was really great, and there was good chemistry between them. Made some of the late series stuff really good.

  4. Here's a fun cryptic bit of information. Of all six matchups going right now, there's only one that's particularly competitive. The others are have clear winners.

  5. Turner
    Dean Bolander

    The other two were obvious even if I like Janitor Bud. I guess I voted for Dean Bolander over Eli because the Bee episode is pretty funny.

  6. I actually liked Eli, so, Turner, Harley, Eli. For real, though. It's a bit cruel having Harper with Turner. Poor lady's got no chance.

    1. The Eli/Bolander matchup was actually dead even until now. You wielded great power in that vote.

      I had to FIGHT Christian to even get Harper in the bracket.

  7. Gotta go with Eli. I'm not sure what the BMW fandom generally thinks of him, but I enjoyed him. He wasn't particularly deep, but he gave Turner a peer to interact with in addition to Feeny (who was usually more of a friendly rival and/or authority figure). Plus, he was featured in one of the best seasons of the show.

    Bolander is fine but didn't really have many stand-out moments to me. She was pretty much a figure of authority without the intimidation, charisma or wisdom (or comic timing) of Feeny.

  8. How I would have voted, had I not missed the poll. Just cause I like talking about these things.

    Turner of course, no contest there.

    Harley. I like Bud, but GMW has done so much for the character of Harley that I now genuinely look forward to his appearances. Perhaps more so than any other BMW veteran. His is the story with the most potential and the the most suited to the new show.

    Tough choice, but I think I would go with Eli. Simply because he made me laugh more than the Dean did. Also he had an interesting dynamic with Cory thag was never fully explored, sadly.